Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Does this make me selfish?
You are not weird at all! I don't think that there is anything wrong with looking at it from your perspective or cchills. Every person processes risk in a different way, and I think that it is fairly universal that we all care deeply for ourselves, our children and our future children. I am fairly confident that I want to VBAC, but there are still days when I feel like a RCS would be the better choice. I think that it is rarely cut and dry.
I just lost any hopes of a VBAC on Friday -- my personal comfort level was crossed. At that point, I felt that my circumstances put us BOTH in a worse scenario than a RCS. So, I scheduled.
After I made the appointment, I made sure that DH and I went over this decision again, just like with did with DS1. If there is a dire situation and DH has to choose between baby or me, he chooses me. We can make another baby, or adopt or use a surrogate. He doesn't get another me, nor does DS1.
I don't think it's selfish, I think it's practical.
This was the point I came to in my decision making, as well. I felt like I had to look at this way. One option is supposed to be safer for me, the other safer for the baby. You almost have to decide "who am I going to put more of the risk on?"
I said this in another post too, but I just felt like if I die during an RCS and the baby lives, not only is my H left with a newborn baby but a 2 year old as well. I would be leaving two children without their mom. It makes me sick to think of this baby dying during childbirth, but I have another child I have to think of and take into account as well. He needs his mommy, too.
We had a similar conversation before my induction last time, and we will again soon I think. I know what DH's decision would be (me) but I want to make sure we're on the same page regardless.
I agree. I am also more scared because I know exactly what happens at the hospital. Going in to the first, the whole process was a bit abstract. DH is terrified too, which isn't helping. I think it's kind of preventing us from TTC. He keeps saying, "isn't one enough?"
You know I don't think we had this convo the first time around. I will be bringing it up this time though for sure.
If the risks were higher, I would not chose a VBAC but where they are now, it's just not even really a risk to me. I chose my doctor based on knowing that he does successful VBACs all the time, and even when they end up in a RCS, the outcomes are still positive for both mother and baby.
I don't think there is really a selfish choice here. I want a VBAC for a lot of reasons, but to me, I'm not weighing my risk vs baby risks.
FWIW, I have told DH if ever there were a choice, to chose baby and still chose to go with a VBAC.
Oh gosh... THIS... Pulls at my heart but exactly how it is.