As I was reading a prior post, it seems like many are torn over the risks of VBAC vs RCS. I'm really not.
When considering RCS vs VBAC, I know the risks are higher for me during the RCS and higher for the baby during a VBAC. So, without hesitation, I choose lower risks for me. I guess I would rather suffer the loss of an unborn child, then have DD suffer the loss and a lifetime without a Mother.
Re: Does this make me selfish?
You are not weird at all! I don't think that there is anything wrong with looking at it from your perspective or cchills. Every person processes risk in a different way, and I think that it is fairly universal that we all care deeply for ourselves, our children and our future children. I am fairly confident that I want to VBAC, but there are still days when I feel like a RCS would be the better choice. I think that it is rarely cut and dry.
I just lost any hopes of a VBAC on Friday -- my personal comfort level was crossed. At that point, I felt that my circumstances put us BOTH in a worse scenario than a RCS. So, I scheduled.
After I made the appointment, I made sure that DH and I went over this decision again, just like with did with DS1. If there is a dire situation and DH has to choose between baby or me, he chooses me. We can make another baby, or adopt or use a surrogate. He doesn't get another me, nor does DS1.
I don't think it's selfish, I think it's practical.
This was the point I came to in my decision making, as well. I felt like I had to look at this way. One option is supposed to be safer for me, the other safer for the baby. You almost have to decide "who am I going to put more of the risk on?"
I said this in another post too, but I just felt like if I die during an RCS and the baby lives, not only is my H left with a newborn baby but a 2 year old as well. I would be leaving two children without their mom. It makes me sick to think of this baby dying during childbirth, but I have another child I have to think of and take into account as well. He needs his mommy, too.
We had a similar conversation before my induction last time, and we will again soon I think. I know what DH's decision would be (me) but I want to make sure we're on the same page regardless.
I agree. I am also more scared because I know exactly what happens at the hospital. Going in to the first, the whole process was a bit abstract. DH is terrified too, which isn't helping. I think it's kind of preventing us from TTC. He keeps saying, "isn't one enough?"
You know I don't think we had this convo the first time around. I will be bringing it up this time though for sure.
If the risks were higher, I would not chose a VBAC but where they are now, it's just not even really a risk to me. I chose my doctor based on knowing that he does successful VBACs all the time, and even when they end up in a RCS, the outcomes are still positive for both mother and baby.
I don't think there is really a selfish choice here. I want a VBAC for a lot of reasons, but to me, I'm not weighing my risk vs baby risks.
FWIW, I have told DH if ever there were a choice, to chose baby and still chose to go with a VBAC.
Oh gosh... THIS... Pulls at my heart but exactly how it is.