SIL's Baby Shower... Go or no?

GingerCupcake · August 2011

My SIL is having her first baby about a month and bit after I am due. Her shower will be on August 14, I am due August 6th. I have told them that if I have the baby on the 6th or after I won't be attending, but if I am still pregnant (which the midwives have said I probably will be since I have a history of going late, have no progress so far, and won't be induced until 42 weeks which would be August 20) I'm not sure whether I should go or not.

On one hand, I feel like if I'm still pregnant I might as well go, it will get me out of the house and it's good to make an appearance.
On the other hand, I don't want to take any of the attention off of her since I'm sure people will want to talk about the fact that I am 8 days overdue. I also don't know if I'll be able to handle all the questions and talk about it, because I found it very emotionally difficult and stressful the last time I was overdue. I'm also quite sure I'll be even more uncomfortable than I am now and may not have it in me to undertake a social gathering like that.

HELP! What should I do?

[Poll]

katxattack · August 2011

This is a total 'up in the air' one for me. If you are still pregnant and FEEL UP TO GOING, go. But only if YOU feel up to it- heck, being over due isn't fun and I am sure people would understand if you just didn't feel well enought to go!

If you just had the baby- I'd say- do not go. That will definetly take attention off SIL. And, everyone would understand if you weren't there.

Galaxy8227 · August 2011

katxattack:

This is a total 'up in the air' one for me. If you are still pregnant and FEEL UP TO GOING, go. But only if YOU feel up to it- heck, being over due isn't fun and I am sure people would understand if you just didn't feel well enought to go!

This is what I would do as well. DH's cousin's shower is 3 days before I'm due--I told her Mom that if I felt up to going I would be there (I love his cousin) but it would depend on the day and how I was feeling. She totally understood

whitney1170 · August 2011

I'm totally not being snarky, so please don't take it that way, but I think using the "pregnancy card" to get out of things like that is silly. Sure, you'll be tired, but aren't you tired now? It's probably not going to get substantially worse. I'm sure your family would love for you to be there. If you "steal the show", it's not like you did it on purpose, and I'm sure people would rather see you than not. All you do is sit there, watch her open presents, and eat cake. I just see family functions as precious time, not to be wasted cuz you just don't feel like it.

Of course this is only if you don't have the baby by then.

::Off my soapbox now:: :-D

Karmalife · August 2011

Why not just "play it by ear"? You shouldn't force yourself to do anything right now that will cause unnecessary stress. If the day comes and you feel good, go. If you don't, stay home. You don't owe anyone any explanations and there is no right or wrong here..

mabma80 · August 2011

whitney1170:
I'm totally not being snarky, so please don't take it that way, but I think using the "pregnancy card" to get out of things like that is silly. Sure, you'll be tired, but aren't you tired now? It's probably not going to get substantially worse. I'm sure your family would love for you to be there. If you "steal the show", it's not like you did it on purpose, and I'm sure people would rather see you than not. All you do is sit there, watch her open presents, and eat cake. I just see family functions as precious time, not to be wasted cuz you just don't feel like it.
Of course this is only if you don't have the baby by then.
::Off my soapbox now:: :-D

I would go with this. I was four days overdue with DS1 and was bored to tears. We went to the Renaissance Festival almost everyday just so I could get out and walk. I'd say go and have a little social fun before you're confined to staying home. : )

gremxul · August 2011

I wouldn't skip it for any "you" reasons, but worrying that you'll take away from her attention is reasonable. I would call and ask whoever is arranging her shower - they can then tak with her and find out her preference. Maybe she's worried the shower will be underattended and just wants ANY body to keep things lively - or maybe she thinks it will take attention away and would be a little relieved if you decided to skip.

babybuckley · August 2011

To go or not go is totally up to you and how you are feeling that day (and the possible arrival of your LO). Everyone should understand if you end up not going and there should be no hurt feelings. If you decide not to go -for whatever reason- be sure to call her the day of and say that you are happy for her and that you are thinking of her etc.... If you do go and people start talking about you and your pregnancy, do what you can to steer the conversation back toward SIL. Or figure out how to nicely say that this is SIL's shower and you would rather talk about her baby for the day.

zhirsch · August 2011

If you're still pregnant, and feeling reasonably well, I would go. It will only be a few hours, you'll probably be sitting the whole time, and it would be nice to make an appearance. If the attention is drawn to you, just smile and say that the baby will get here when s/he gets here, and turn the conversation back to SIL. Even if you're feeling bad, I wouldn't talk people's ear off about it. Are you close enough with MIL or SIL to ask them about this directly? If the situation were reversed how would you feel about SIL coming to your shower?