Switching teachers

lachulavista · August 2011

I was wondering if any of you ladies switched teachers for any of your little ones. My 5 year old is starting Kindergarten in the fall and we received notification on who his teacher will be. My son was previously enrolled in a Pre-K program and made several friends with, especially one in particular that he's had playdates with and has really bonded with. Here's the issue when we registered him for school we let them now that he had a good friend that we wanted him to be with in the same class. Unfortunately he was not placed with his friend. I'm not saying that this teacher is not a good one my concern is that I feel he won't do well because he is in a unfamilar environment and my son is very shy and it took awhile for him to adjust to his Pre-K class. Am I just being over protective or if I feel he won't excel academically (eventhough it is only Kindergarten) should I switch his teacher?

shouldbworkin · August 2011

I might call and see if there was some reason behind their decision. Maybe the PK teacher gave them some insight into how the kids played together and so they decided to split them up? Maybe he has different needs and this teacher will be better for him? Or maybe it was just random, in which case I would see if they can switch him to the other class. If they can't, I'd see if they have lunch/recess together and continue to make playdates with the kids that he knows. I don't think it's such a terrible thing, though. DS had a weird class last year and he made friends with kids from other classes at recess and on the bus. they also did a lot together, so he befriended other KGers that way. His school is known for really mixing things up every year too. So, I bet he'll be in a class with quite a few kids he doesn't know this year as well. In KG, they're all new, so I think it's not so bad to be in a class with kids you don't know.

batboymom · August 2011

JMHO. This is not a sufficient reason for swapping teachers for a typically developing child. I would go to bat, perhaps, for a child who has autism or is apraxic or has intellectual disability. But for a shy kid, it's a no confidence vote to insist. There's an upside to getting him in with new kids, it mitigates the risk that he becomes overly dependent on this other child which can have tragic consequences should their family move or should he be dazzled by other kids.

I wouldn't ask, either, because he may not be placed with the friend because the friends parents are hoping their child branches out a bit socially and it's better for you not to hear that.

MrsBalletStar05 · August 2011

This is not a good reason to request switching teachers and I doubt most schools would accommodate you. There could be a number of reasons why your child and this other are not placed together or it could just be because that is how the random drawing fell. If the school honors your request, then it must honor everyone else's and it could become a headache very quickly. If they switch your child because he has a friend in the class, they might split up another set of friends. Then someone else doesn't like someone else and they get switched. Then someone else. You see how this snowballs?

neverblushed · August 2011

I would not pursue switching classes for several reasons. My reasons will sound harsh, but I'm speaking as both a mom and a teacher. I know how this works, at least in the school where I teach, and in my kids' schools.

1. Even if you beg, the school will not switch him into a different class just so he can be with his friend. Not even if he's a really shy kid. While this issue seems very important to you, it's completely not important in the eyes of the school. You already asked, and they did not put him with his friend. If you ask again, they will patiently explain to you that they don't make changes of this type, and then they'll roll their eyes at you when they hang up the phone.

2. In other words, you will be THAT mom, and no one wants to be THAT mom already, before their child even starts the first day of kindergarten.

3. The school cannot give in to requests like this. If they make an exception for you, they'll have to let every parent dictate which class their child ends up in, and it's total chaos for the school. They can't allow parents to choose their child's teacher.

4. It's actually better for your son to be in another class anyway. My son is also a shy kid. 2 of his really close friends from preschool also go to our elementary school, and last summer I prayed that one of them would end up in his class. Neither did. Know what? Not only did he survive, he flourished! He really benefited from having to make new friends. He still plays with the preschool friends at recess and playdates, but he has additional buddies now as well. If he had been in his best friend's class, he would have stuck to his one friend like glue all year. He would not have made nearly so many new friends.

5. My reason in #4 is why schools do not make an effort to put kids who are already friends together in the same class for kindergarten. The school knows that it's ultimately better for the kids -- at this age -- to be exposed to new social situations. You probably had a better chance of your son winding up in his friend's class if you had not asked. The school most likely intentionally separated them once you let them know that the two kids were friends.

Try not to worry about this too much! I really sweated it with my shy kid as well, but he is SO much better off now that he's had a chance to widen his social prospects a bit. It'll be fine!

KdgTeacher · August 2011

neverblushed:

1. Even if you beg, the school will not switch him into a different class just so he can be with his friend. Not even if he's a really shy kid. While this issue seems very important to you, it's completely not important in the eyes of the school. You already asked, and they did not put him with his friend. If you ask again, they will patiently explain to you that they don't make changes of this type, and then they'll roll their eyes at you when they hang up the phone.

2. In other words, you will be THAT mom, and no one wants to be THAT mom already, before their child even starts the first day of kindergarten.

3. The school cannot give in to requests like this. If they make an exception for you, they'll have to let every parent dictate which class their child ends up in, and it's total chaos for the school. They can't allow parents to choose their child's teacher.

This. At my school those requests go about as far as a lead balloon. As a former K teacher, I promise your child will be fine. Smile Will he need time to adjust? Maybe, but so will lots of other kids. The enviornment is new to everyone and everyone adjusts.

CubbyMama · August 2011

I teach kindergarten (well, I'm moving to 2nd this year) and totally agree with neverblushed. Most schools don't take requests because it's really hard to balance boys/girls, special needs, gifted, English learners, behavior issues, etc. among classes to begin with. Once you throw in "I really want Teacher A because my friend says her daughter loved her" or "We don't want Teacher B because we hear she's mean" or "Don't put him in the same class with Kid C because they annoy each other" it gets to be nearly impossible to meet all of those conditions. I bet your kiddo will do great, and chances are that he (and many other kids) will be nervous at the beginning regardless whether he has one familiar face in class or not--it's still a new environment, new teacher, new procedures, new expectations, etc. and all of the kids have an adjustment period for those.

jerol · August 2011

As a teacher, I completely agree with everything neverblushed said.

I know its hard sending a little one off to K- but your son will be fine!

Tonya_G · August 2011

Are you planning on doing this for his high school teachers and college professors too? Children benefit from having to rise to the challenge of overcoming their weaknesses- in this case, being timid and shy. He also needs to have more than one friend- he'll be able to play with his buddy at recess, but he needs to socialize further than just one child. You're being way too overprotective.

shopgirl78 · August 2011

I agree with pps, its not a good reason to switch. And FWIW, my DD was in the same class as her BFF last year and I think it hurt her conduct some days.

Want a personalized experience?

Switching teachers

Re: Switching teachers

Choose Another Board

Search Boards