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Cloth Diapering
MrsDink
member
Can I vent about something SCDR?
MrsDink
member
So when DS was born 10 weeks early, I had every intention to EBF. My milk came in easily but I was forced to pump every 2 hours since DS had to stay in the NICU.
I never minded pumping because I knew it was best for George. I pumped the whole 7 weeks he was in and took the BM to him daily. When he was 32 weeks I insisted on trying to BF, they let me and even though he was only around 4 lbs at this point, he took to it like a champ, totally a boob guy! I was allowed to BF once a day. Over those 7 weeks though, my supply dropped off. Towards the end of his NICU stay I was having a hard time keeping up.
When we finally brought him home, I was only allowed to BF twice a day. Between having a newborn, having to bottle feed fortified BM with formula (also three bottles a day had Zantac in them and one had vitamins) then pump... I caved and stopped trying to BF and stopped pumping after only a week at home. I feel guilty because from the very beginning he had a great latch. I couldn't have asked for an easier situation (minus the hospital part)
Now every time I have to scrape his smelly, peanut butter formula poo out of his diaper and wash them twice, I regret not trying harder. Next time around, I SWEAR I'll make it work! Hopefully that baby will do just as well. You EBF'ers give me hope. Thank you!
(and if you made it all the way through this post, thanks for reading!)
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Re: Can I vent about something SCDR?
I'm really impressed that you pumped and worked on the BF as long as you did with everything else going on. We had latch issues in the beginning and so I was doing a LOT of pumping and trying to BF and it was incredibly frustrating--and that was without a NICU stay.
Good for you for working so hard for your baby--you have a lot to be proud of!
As hard as it is you have to try and let go of the guilt. In the first few days/weeks we are just trying to survive and sometimes we have to do what is easiest for us in order to do that. Hopefully next time mama you will get a full term baby and get to do the b'fing thing the easy way
No go buy a sprayer so you don't have to scrape
I have heard people don't spray FF diapers. We FF and hadn't heard that so I can't speak from experience but it may be worth a try. You could just run another load if it doesn't work.
And FYI, the topic of breastfeeding is a very sensitive topic for me-I understand your struggles and am right there with you with looking ahead to the next baby! GL!
Awww mama, don't beat yourself up. I am amazed that you were able to pump and bring milk to your preemie in the hospital for so long! That milk gave him the strong start he needed to get home healthy, and only you could do that for him. And when he came home, you needed to be with him more than your pump. Makes perfect sense to me!
I think mommy guilt is so strong for all of us, every mom has her "thing." If it makes you feel any better, I wish I had gone natural! You med-free mamas give ME hope
Thank you ladies, this is THE BEST board on The Bump! I never think of it the way you all put it, that giving him BM for 8 weeks was really a good thing. I always think about the time I've spent giving him formula instead of the other way around. For whatever reason I try not to think about the BF issue much but lately it's been in the back of my mind.
I do need a sprayer lol. Just have to bring myself to spend the $45 on that instead of wool or fitteds!
I did get "lucky" with going natural... I went into labor and spent 5 days in the hospital stopping it with Magnesium. They sent me home 3 cm dilated, and I was only there for 24 hours before my water broke. I was only in labor (the second time) for 2.5 hours. I have no idea how people who are in labor for hours and hours go natural!
to us ladies who will do our best to EBF next time
cheers 
Hugs mama! I EBF DD and did also with DS, but I'm a SAHM, didn't have a preemie and didn't have to pump. Those 3 things made it really easy for me to breastfeed. The fact that your DS was 10 weeks early and you were able to get him to latch and nurse is a huge accomplishment in and of itself. And pumping majorly sucks and I give major props to anyone who does it.
Don't beat yourself up about not breastfeeding. A lot of things were out of your control and you tried your hardest.
Here's to hoping the next baby will be full-term and BFing will be easy!
I had a 6 week early NICU baby and was never able to get him to BF successfully. I wanted to BF so badly and was so upset that I couldn't. I am still EPing for him but it took me until he was about 5-6 months old for me to actually throw in the towel and be at peace with it (as weird as that sounds).
So, I'm also hoping for better luck with the next one!
My favorite cloth diaper shop!
Yep, I have guilt about my birth experience. Its hard to get over, but you have to remember that no matter what you have a wonderful little dude
I could have written your post almost word for word. I too exclusively pumped for several months and then tried to EBF. Unfortunately, DD wasn't able to latch as well as your little guy, and I was so overly concerned about making sure she was eating enough and gaining weight that we stopped breastfeeding. I still pumped for awhile, but stopped soon after she came home. It was difficult to pump while home with her (mostly by myself while DH was at school) and my supply was quickly dropping. We transitioned to exclusively formula, and although she is happy and healthy, I still regret not trying harder to BF (although I say this to myself every time we have to shell out $$$ for formula, not when scraping poo). I also say that next time I'll make it work.
But honestly, pumping that long is a huge accomplishment. You gave your guy breastmilk when he needed it the most, and you did an amazing job. I totally understand feeling the regret of not trying harder, but formula is working out very well for us and I am happy with the choices we have made. You are not alone, and you are doing a great job!!
Thank you
Holy moly, 23w... I can't imagine. You are my hero! lol Hope your LO is doing great!!
And to all the other posters, thank you, thank you, thank you. You have really really lifted my spirits!
Yes maam, sure is! Even getting fat on this formula stuff
You can make your own sprayer out of kitchen sink parts from HD or lowes ofr $20
Agreed. BFing is HARD, especially at first. I can't imagine pumping and BFing and FFing all together, every day, at all hours - without even factoring in the stress of a NICU stay. I would now be bald, because I would have pulled all my hair out. Whatever you do, don't beat yourself up. You did, and still are doing, a fantastic job of taking care of him.
This x 1000! I am a NICU nurse and I totally understand how hard it is to BF a premie (and how sometimes, we don't make it easy for parents). You did what you needed to do for yourself once you got him home. I can't imagine trying to pump and feed all day long. A baby wears you out enough. From the pics in your siggy, he looks amazing, so you are obviously doing a great job! Keep your chin up and hopefully you'll have a full term baby next time that you can EBF!