Is this normal?

Blsd4given · July 2011

DH and I went for the first official consult at the OB office yesterday. When the appt was setup, I didn't ask what a "consult" entailed... and just assumed it's normal. I realize that I should have asked. From now on, I will.

Anyway.. we went to the consult. I had DH come because I was certain they'd ask all sort of questions about both of us. We waited for an hour and finally saw who I normally see.. (She's actually a certified midwife). She came in and asked what the problem was. I told her TTTC. She asked the usual yearly questions. Then, she said "Not to be mean, but it's usually the woman that has the issue.". She asked my husband if he had other kids and if he worked in a hot office. She said "We usually don't test the man midway through. We'll set you up another appointment in two weeks with the OBGYN for more bloodwork." Then ushered us out the door to get my blood drawn to test my Progesterone. It all happened so fast... I wanted to ask questions but barely got a word in edgewise. We waited for an hour to talk for maybe 8 minutes. DH seemed pleased with the appt... Yea, I guess I would be too if the suggestion of issues was thrown at someone other than me immediately without even having to be tested...

I wanted to ask her what about DH's "performance" issues. Isn't that a sign of something? You could say it was just stress.. but since we got together 10 years ago?? Is it normal for them to assume it's the woman and to put her through the ringer before even thinking it might be the man?

From reading the forums here, it seems like 7dpo is the time to test Progesterone... and I was only 6dpo. Does 1 day matter that much?

The next appointment scheduled is not CD3... nor is it 7dpo. It's somewhere right in between. Is that normal?

Does all of this sound like the normal start to testing? Or should I be looking for a new OB?

btaylor19 · July 2011

First - it is not usually the woman. It is about a 50/50 split so I would insist on him getting testing as well, especially since his testing is not horribly invasive, just a little embarrassing.

I don't think 1 day will make a big difference on your progesterone, so 6dpo should be fine. I would be looking for a new OB though that isn't so set on it being an issue with you.

kgp_061910 · July 2011

btaylor19:

First - it is not usually the woman. It is about a 50/50 split so I would insist on him getting testing as well, especially since his testing is not horribly invasive, just a little embarrassing.

I don't think 1 day will make a big difference on your progesterone, so 6dpo should be fine. I would be looking for a new OB though that isn't so set on it being an issue with you.

Yes My OB did not have a problem testing my husband before she even met with me. I agree with btay.

snowflake350 · July 2011

I chart my cycles, so I told my ob that I've been ovulating and my cycles seem to be normal, I get AF about two weeks after I ovulate and my cycles are anywhere from 29 to 34 days. My ob said because I was having regular cycles he was first interested in testing DH and ordered an S/A.

Countrygirl36 · July 2011

Neither I nor my doctor would proceed with my testing until the SA was done. There is no way I would do an invasive procedure without all easier options being done first. I would seriously consider finding a new doctor, perhaps one who will give you more than 8 minutes of the time that you are paying for.

Also, I would wonder how much a midwife knows about the male side of reproduction, so if you really want to stay with this woman then I would at least make sure that DH has a doctor of his own to work on his side of things.

ccam · July 2011

Like a PP said, it's not "usually the woman". I would suggest meeting with an RE instead of your OB, this doesn't sound like her expertise. From what I've read and gone through, common initial testing is cd3 b/w, HSG and an SA for your husband.

Also, your siggy says you've only been TTC for 9 months, maybe that's why your OB didn't want to move ahead with testing. Is there a reason you're looking for help already?

farmerlynda · July 2011

kgp_061910:
btaylor19:

First - it is not usually the woman. It is about a 50/50 split so I would insist on him getting testing as well, especially since his testing is not horribly invasive, just a little embarrassing.

I don't think 1 day will make a big difference on your progesterone, so 6dpo should be fine. I would be looking for a new OB though that isn't so set on it being an issue with you.

My OB did not have a problem testing my husband before she even met with me. I agree with btay.

The first thing they should do is an SA since it's cheap and easy. That attitude is so horrible... it is not always the woman, and it's actually really offensive and sexist to suggest that. (In fact, I know a number of doctors who think that this old-school, historical attitude is why so little is known about MFI -- because it was easier to blame the woman!)

ELF4321 · July 2011

btaylor19:

First - it is not usually the woman. It is about a 50/50 split so I would insist on him getting testing as well, especially since his testing is not horribly invasive, just a little embarrassing.

I don't think 1 day will make a big difference on your progesterone, so 6dpo should be fine. I would be looking for a new OB though that isn't so set on it being an issue with you.

Yes to all of this.

hootie123 · July 2011

Sounds normal for an OBs office - they are often clueless when it comes to infertility issues. The midwife at my office told me we would get pregnant if we just have sex EOD - umm, yeah - thats works really great if your not ovulating and have low sperm count.

Anyway - my recommendation is to find an RE if you suspect you have fertility issues.

kelnyc · July 2011

If you are having TTTC, you should see an RE. They are the experts on getting you pregnant, wheras an OB takes care of you once you are already pregnant. There is no logic in not testing your husband from the beginning. None. It sounds like a crappy appointment and I'd see someone else if I were you.

PS- 6dpo should be fine.

Blsd4given · July 2011

ccam:

Like a PP said, it's not "usually the woman". I would suggest meeting with an RE instead of your OB, this doesn't sound like her expertise. From what I've read and gone through, common initial testing is cd3 b/w, HSG and an SA for your husband.

Also, your siggy says you've only been TTC for 9 months, maybe that's why your OB didn't want to move ahead with testing. Is there a reason you're looking for help already?

I'd agree that I probably jumped the gun on it a bit. DH and I even discussed that before going... especially since I just started charting BBT this cycle. I knew BBT could help in the past.. but didn't really fully understand in what way until I found TB. (I was already doing the occassional OPKs and watching for EWCM in previous cycles) . We contemplated cancelling. At the same time, I have this gut feeling that something isn't right. (There are factors that feed into that feeling too.. So, it's not all based on gut.. Smile ) So, we went ahead with the first appointment..

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