Preemies

How much time do/did you spend in NICU?

Today is the first day for me of just visiting Michael, who I delivered on Sunday at 24 weeks and 2 days. I was discharged yesterday and today I am really struggling with how much time is enough to spend with him. How many hours a day did you sit in the NICU? I havent been able to hold him yet, I just sit and stare at him in amazement. I feel like no matter how long I am there, it's not enough. I also don't want to get in their way and bother the nurses so I need to find that balance.
6/28/10: Lost our sweet baby Addyston at 18wk 1day to pPROM 7/24/11: Michael William born at 24wk 2d due to IC after an emergent cerclage at 18wks, 4wk home BR and 2 weeks hospital BR. Grow strong our little Miracle! 9/17/11: Michael joined his sister in heaven after 8 amazing weeks with us on earth. He fought a very hard fight but NEC was too much for him in the end. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Re: How much time do/did you spend in NICU?

  • Congratulations on the birth of your son! I struggle with the same issue.  My NICU has "touch times" for each baby, when the nurses go into their incubators, change them, feed, etc.  Outside of the touch times, the incubators are covered and the babies are left alone to sleep, minimize stimulation, etc.

    I try to go to two touch times a day, one mid-morning and one evening.  I can hold my baby once a day now too.  So I probably spend a total of 1.5 to 2 hours there each day.  As she gets bigger, I plan to spend more time there. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Congratulations on your baby boy!  We usually went twice a day and spent anywhere from an 1 to 2 hours each time.  The beginning for us was really rough.  Plus there isn't much for you to do.  You just sit and stare into the incubator.  Also the alarms really got to me so I couldn't handle long stretches.  Don't worry.  You aren't bothering the nurses.  I think they worry more about parents that are never there! 
  • Loading the player...
  • Still waiting I have been thinking about you I am from the High risk board. Congrats on your son t&p
  • Don't worry about the nurses, spend as much or as little time as YOU need!  In the beginning I spent less time there, 2 1.5hr visits a day, there wasn't much to do and I was still healing from my section (it took forever to heal and didn't fully close until 3 months pp!)  As time wore on and the babies got bigger and I got more able to spend time there I would do 6-8 hours and on rough days 10-14.  

    That being said don't jude things by the number of hours you are there but rather the quality of the time, both for you and for LO. 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • My babies weren't there that long (12 and 19 days), but we were there everyday.  When M went back to work, I took the day shift (8a-5p) and he took the night shift (8p-midnight).  This is what worked for us, but do what you can and know that you are doing your very best for your son.  I haven't been where you are, so I can't pretend to know what you're going through.  From what our nurses told us, you can't be there too much.  He's your son, do what you feel is enough.

    I have a Michael too we call him Mack!  Congrats on your baby boy! 

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • Congrats on your son!  I had a 23w5d boy, and I remember how surreal the first few weeks were after his birth.  In regards to visiting:

    1. Don't worry about bothering the nurses.  You won't get in their way, and they will become your biggest source of information.  Ask questions and befriend them!

    2. Remember you are healing now too, so just be aware of your body - and listen to it!  You may not be able to stay as long as you wish you could.

    3. There is no right answer as far as how much time to spend.  Do what feels right for you.

    4. With a 24-weeker, you're in for a long journey.  Hopefully it is a relatively smooth one, but regardless you have several months of time in the NICU.  It's a marathon, not a sprint.

    As for what I did:

    In general, I usually went twice a day.  Once in the late morning, staying for a few hours - maybe 11 - 3? (I usually pumped and ate lunch somewhere in there) and then back in the evening with my husband, usually from 8 - 9:30 or 10.  Somedays it was more, some less.

    Before I could hold him (he was 5 weeks old before I could) I would literally spend hours just with my hand on his back, head, or bum.  He like the firm pressure, and I liked connecting with him in some way.  DH used to read to him.  We got through the first three Harry Potter books!  (Once he was bigger and we were holding and feeding him more often, we cut way back on the reading b/c we had something else to do!)

    Personally, I could never do the marathon sessions I saw some other moms do.  When he was closer to discharge I was there a lot more b/c I wanted to feed him and could give him baths and hold him, etc.  But for the first few months 2-3 hours at a time was all I could do.  I used to go back at night to see him, but also to spend time with DH - it was often the only time we had to catch up.  Of course, on his bad days I spent way more time there and never could leave if he was having a hard time.  Looking back, I feel good about the time I spent with him, and was there every day for the 147 days he was in.  I tried not to feel guilty when I took some me time (lunch with friends, a pedicure, or a night off just to stay at home and sleep or do laundry.)  I was the constant in his care, and for sure knew him the best.

    Sorry for the long response!  I wish you and your son the best!  Let me know if you have any questions and keep us posted on his progress when you have time.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I live about 2 hours away from the hospital, but they have given me a room in one of the old hospital wings to stay in while I am visiting.  My schedule has been going twice a week and staying for about 2-3 days each time.  I try to get to at least 2-3 of their "touch times" a day where I get to check their temps and change their diapers.  So far I've held Owen twice and Miles once.  I probably stay a total of 1.5-2 hours a day.  Usually they are just sleeping and I don't want to bother them too much.  I remember at first it was really hard for me to see them and I was still in shock/disbelief that they were here.  Not to mention I was recovering from surgery and my hormones were still crazy. 
  • kck329kck329 member

    I was a "marathon" person. At first I was there for 3-4 hours in the morning and then went back at night with my DH after he got off work. As soon as I recovered from surgery I was at her bedside from about 9 am to 9 pm. The first month or so it was lots of sitting next to her isolette talking to the nurses and doing what I could. As she got stronger, I could hold her for longer and that was great. By the time she was in an open crib, I was able to do almost all of her care myself and the nurses just let me do my thing. But I'm usually the exception to the rule when people ask this question--don't feel like you have to be at the hospital anywhere near as much as I was. I also live 15 min from the hospital and didn't have to work the whole time she was there, we were lucky.

    Don't worry about being in the way. Get to know the nurses, befriend them, and choose the ones you like best to be your LO's primary nurses so you have consistent care. You will figure out what works best for you and it will change as you go. You've got a long journey ahead of you, take it one day at a time and try not to feel guilty when you need time off. Take care of yourself, its really important.

  • Congratulations!

    I spend everyday at the NICU. When all three girls were there I spent all day (from 11am - 7pm) there. The time flew by especially when I was able to do hands with them. Now that only one of my girls is still there I go everyday but I only spend a couple hours (If Im lucky) and on the weekend I try to get 4 hours in.

    It's hard but you are new to this. You will become close with some nurses and eventually start to feel more comfortable not being up there all day. I've been going to the NICU for 91 days now...it will get easier. Plus, you need to take care of yourself too.

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • congrats on your son!

    It would depend on the day...how much we got to hold/see her. Anywhere from 2 hours to 6 hours would be the average.

    I would usually go for a few hours during the day, and then once DH got home, we would head up there for another 1-2 hours.

    Closer to discharge, once I was able to hold her for as long as I wanted, I would usually go up there around noon and come home around 9p.

     


    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
    image







  • Welcome & congratulations! Finding yourself in NICU is a rude awakening - please post any questions/thoughts/feelings - chances are high that at least one of us as wondered/thought the same thing.

    I agree with Natalie & PP's - it's not the amount of time, but the quality. Keep yourself as sane as possible. I was with DS for 6-10 hours/day...and turned into a zombie. Hopefully you won't be there too long - I hope not.

    It helped me to take a lot of pictures & a few videos. I felt a little less alone when I was home with an empty womb. He is next to me right now, stretching, waking...last night I said to DH, "remember how nuts I was?? Remember how terrified? I never thought it could feel this simple." - if I had to do it all over, I'd be just as nuts, no doubt! but when they say, "they just need to get bigger," it's true. One day you'll be crying over their tiny preemie clothes ;)

    Hopefully it's a short & simple stay <3

  • No amount of time is "good" or "bad".  You are going to just have to do what is best for you.  This is a post I made when he was born and pretty much everyone struggles with this topic.  Some ladies are there all the time, and some are there less.  I've seen quite a few ladies also decide to work while their LOs are in the NICU so they can then take time off when them when they get home.  Whatever you figure out is fine.  Don't let anyone make you feel bad for it. 

    I spent from 10/11am until 5pm at the hospital daily.  Then I would go home and eat and come back with H from 8-9/10.

    It was exhausting.  Looking back on it, I do sometimes wish I'd rested and taken better care of myself.  

    Born at 31w3d due to severe IUGR & Placental Insufficiency--2lbs 3ounces
    image

    We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers

  • Thank you all for your responses. I knew that I would most likely have a baby in the NICU and that it would be tough, but no one can prepare you for what it is actually like until you are there. It's very surreal and I just want so badly to pick up my baby and heels him/feed him bathe him. I am struggling more than I ever thought I would. Thankfully he is doing relatively well and I can hold on to that. If he were struggling right now I'm not sure what I would be doing!
    6/28/10: Lost our sweet baby Addyston at 18wk 1day to pPROM 7/24/11: Michael William born at 24wk 2d due to IC after an emergent cerclage at 18wks, 4wk home BR and 2 weeks hospital BR. Grow strong our little Miracle! 9/17/11: Michael joined his sister in heaven after 8 amazing weeks with us on earth. He fought a very hard fight but NEC was too much for him in the end. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • kck329kck329 member

    imagestillwaiting12:
    Thank you all for your responses. I knew that I would most likely have a baby in the NICU and that it would be tough, but no one can prepare you for what it is actually like until you are there. It's very surreal and I just want so badly to pick up my baby and heels him/feed him bathe him. I am struggling more than I ever thought I would. Thankfully he is doing relatively well and I can hold on to that. If he were struggling right now I'm not sure what I would be doing!

    There is nothing that can prepare you for the NICU journey-its an emotional rollercoaster like none other. But please vent, ask questions, and share what you are thinking with this group. We have all been where you are and know how scary it is. This board was a huge support when my DD was in the NICU and since we've come home.  I hope you get to hold your baby soon-its impossibly hard to see your little one and not be able to hold them. ::hugs::

  • Congratulations on your son!

    our twins were born at 27 weeks 1 day.  they were in the NICU 74 days and 77 days. we also couldn't hold them for a few weeks after birth due to my daughters heart surgery and my sons lung issues.

    1. I did the marathon route.  I went in from 9am to 7pm.  I was lucky enough to not have to go back to work during their NICU stay so I was able to spend all day there.  My husband worked double shifts so I could stay with the twins in the NICU.  When he'd get out of work late night he'd go in and tell the babies about his day and read to them.  Since he couldn't hold them he wanted to make sure he had quality time with them. The nurses ended up falling in love with my husband since he was their only regular visitor over night.

    2. Those first few weeks when we couldn't hold them my husband and I would go in and sit next to their incubators and read to them. 

    3. The nurses were great about letting us do all the "touch times" where we would change their diapers and take their temps. 

    4.  Since we spent so much time their we really got to know the nurses.  They were the best source of information.

    Mom to three beautiful preemies:

    Lily born at 27 wks: 2 lbs 4 oz.
    Max born at 27 wks: 2 lbs 2 oz.
    Glenn born at 31 wks: 3 lbs 9 oz.

    My twin's birth story
  • Once I was home from the hospital I would go up at around 8am and leave at 6pm. Our NICU was closed from 6pm to 8pm, so it was a nice 'reason' for me to get out. Then later either DH or I would go back for her 9pm feeding. This way every other night I got to stay home and catch up on sleep.

    I would also go eat lunch in the cafe at the hospital and take a walk around the block, for about an hour at noon, and then go back.

    I was able to hold DD from day one, which was a blessing. I also was able to do her leads, her feeding tube, her temp....anything that nurses would let me.

    I also would bring a book or my Thank You cards and work on them there.

    But that was just a me. I had a HUGE problem letting her be alone. No matter how many people told me that she was okay and was recieving great care, I kind of felt like Sally Field in Steel Magnolias- if she opened her eyes, I wanted to be there!! Looking back, I probably should have slept in a few mornings, given myself an emotional break- but you have to do what feels right for you at the time.

    Good Luck, your son is so lucky to have a mom who cares so much for him!!

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"