Lolita (Dear Prudence question)

CurlyFry16 · July 2011

This question was asked this morning on Dear Prudence (Slate):

Dear Prudence,
My husband and I met in college in an English class, and our first date was mostly a conversation about our favorite novels. One of my all-time favorite works is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. I'm pregnant with my first child, and I want to name our daughter (it's a girl!) Lolita. However, I'm worried that all the ties the name has with pornography and child molestation may outweigh the beauty of the name and significance the book has had in my life. My husband is ambivalent regarding the idea. What should we do?

?Lolita Lover

I'm curious to what your opinions are. Prudie and most of the commenters seem to agree that it's a bad idea. See their comments here (last question): https://www.slate.com/id/2300200/pagenum/2

I, personally, think it's a lovely name, but could never give my child a name with such a negative conotation. Thoughts?

526SadieSadie · July 2011

I absolutely loved the book. But I have a feeling the child would grow up and say "um, mom? You named me after a girl who's repeated raped by her stepfather and she pretty much grows into a whore? Why?"

I'd advise to think about naming the child Dolores (Lolita's real name) or Lola. Her mother's name is Charlotte, which I prefer even more. Humbert doesn't really call her Lolita, he calls her Lo for the most part anyway.

Keri Marie · July 2011

Lolita is a nn for Delores

AlphabetFish · July 2011

As it was my very favorite book, I wrote a whole thesis on Lolita for one of my Literary Criticism classes. Consider this, some of the first lines:

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins....She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita."

Lolita is her sexual name, her lover name--it's the name Humbert uses while he's molesting her. The name of the book is Lolita as a subtle influence to think of her in that state always, even though, no, he doesn't call her by that name much in the book; it is a name he saves for use only during their sexual encounters.

You can't separate "Lolita" from molestation, in my opinion. That's the purpose and meaning of the name (as used in the book, at least)

526SadieSadie · July 2011

AlphabetFish:

As it was my very favorite book, I wrote a whole thesis on Lolita for one of my Literary Criticism classes. Consider this, some of the first lines:

"Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins....She was Lo, plain Lo, in the morning, standing four feet ten in one sock. She was Lola in slacks. She was Dolly at school. She was Dolores on the dotted line. But in my arms she was always Lolita."

~I was trying to think of this quote, all I could remember was "she was Dolly at school, she was Dolores on the dotted line."

Lolita is her sexual name, her lover name--it's the name Humbert uses while he's molesting her. The name of the book is Lolita as a subtle influence to think of her in that state always, even though, no, he doesn't call her by that name much in the book; it is a name he saves for use only during their sexual encounters.

~ this this this this!!

You can't separate "Lolita" from molestation, in my opinion. That's the purpose and meaning of the name (as used in the book, at least)

plunderb · July 2011

Yeesh. Since she says that Lolita is "one of her all-time favorite books," I would encourage her to pick one of the others for naming inspiration.

Dolores, Charlotte, Lola, all fine, but I agree w/ pp that Lolita is way, way too squicky. Since what she loves about the book is presumably the writing, rather than the actual events of the plot, she should consider Vladimir for future kids.

kellyrn9956 · July 2011

Also gives me memories of Amy Fischer, the Long Island Lolita. I think the name just has a horrible connotation all around.

starlight8323 · July 2011

I like Dolores much better anyway!

But even if Lolita was one of my favorite names, I wouldn't use it. There are just some names that shouldn't be carried on, and IMO this is one of those. It's okay to still like the name, but that doesn't mean you have to stick a baby with it for her whole life. I mean, Lucifer is kind of pretty... it sounds like a combination of Lucy and Jennifer. But the history of a name is just as important as the sound and meaning of it, IMO.

curlylocks3 · July 2011

I wouldn't use it. If I really loved it I'd consider Lola though.

anna7602 · July 2011

Bad idea. For so many reasons. First of all, they're not just people who like a name that happens to have a connection with an unsavory situation in literature. They like the name BECAUSE of that connection! That's reason enough to forget about using the name.

Second of all, the Lolita in Nabokov's book has a full name and it is Dolores. I despise when people use nicknames as proper names. However, the name Dolores is pretty terrible, IMO. It means "pain." Yet another not-so-great connotation.

Third, and this relates to the nickname as proper name issue again (sorry, this really gets to me), not only is it a nickname, but it's a diminutive. Lola would be marginally better, especially as it seems that it has passed into the English-naming-world as a stand alone name or as a nickname for names it was never even remotely connected with before, but Lolita is "little Lola." Why in the world would you do that to someone who will one day become an adult? It's bad enough when one's own family continue to use a diminutive when you're well into your 20s or 30s, but to have the whole rest of the world do so, too? Ick. Terrible, terrible, terrible.

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