- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Once Upon a Time....A Wedding Night gone wrong
There were no catastrophes...deaths, tsunamis or illnesses that came to be on that night, 6 years ago...but the fact is, it sucked.
Let me begin by saying that I was born a true Pisces. I was, for most of my youth, a hopeless romantic with visions of 1st time lovemaking in the fields of heather and lavender by a swashbuckling prince with amazingly defined and tanned muscles toned under a gauzy shirt. Perhaps he had a foreign accent and a villa dotted on the hillside nearby. He was strong and sure and passionate and wanted me with the intensity of a thousand suns.
Ah, reality. Reality sets in and life becomes, well....let's just say, different than what I envisioned....
God Bless our sweet baby James.
Our son, born 11/22/09.
Unplanned, Emergency C-section
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Once Upon a Time....A Wedding Night gone wrong
I was married at age 34.
Up until that time, I was....yes, yes...hard to believe, a certifiable virgin.
Why?
I dunno. I guess I was one of those good little Italian Catholic girls, or maybe I just was not a social butterfly and wanted to save the goods for the highest bidder...or it could be the fact that sex scared the beejesuz out of me. It looked so wonderfully done and perfect on TV and in the movies.
I mean, c'mon....why do you think so many people were having it? It's supposed to be an awesome experience, right?
So, I saved myself till I thought I knew time was right.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
Wow, that is seriously impressive!
And then.....seriously, I feel like a little kid at story time.
and then....?
Mommy Graphics
When the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding came out, I immediately identified with the main character, Toula.
I had a big fat Italian family, and all of them were married and having kids and enjoying life while I sat at home and watched old movies and decorated my bedroom to look like a romantic bed and breakfast (complete with tea sets and music boxes)
cough.
I was one of those girls. The girl that everyone in the office would look at and say "what the hell is up with her? what's her story?"
I never went to any proms, or dated much in my 20's. I was really into Charlotte Bronte and Jane Austen books/movies. I was a modern version of the character.
I knew in my heart of hearts I would probably be the single gal in the family forever. I had to make peace with that.
Then one day at the ripe old age of 27, while working at an ambulance company, I saw what I thought was the most handsomest man in the universe slowly move out of his ambulance.
He was in uniform.
He was hot.
I bet he just saved a life that very day.
I needed to get a drink of water.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
Tall, dark, handsome, he had a swagger when he walked...kind of like John Wayne but sexier and he wore these sunglasses that reminded me of all the hot volleyball players in the scene from TOP GUN.
Here I was, gawking outside of the 2nd floor window at this beautiful creature as he finished putting his run report together on his clipboard.
Oh how I wish I was that clipboard.
My boss (also friend at the time) walked around the hallway corner to see my entire body leaning out the window as this man walked into the building...
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
Haha....exactly how I feel!
I hit my head on the window as she snuck up beside me and asked what the hell was I looking with such intensity.
I pointed him out to her.
She concurred...."WOW"
At that point, I didn't care how much of an asss I would make out of myself, I had to talk to this man. If only for a brief moment so I can say I had made contact with a extraterresterial from the planet OHMYGOD
After saying a novena or two for courage, I eventually introduced myself to him.
He was cordial. He was chewing gum at the time. What I would give to be that gum.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
What followed after that was a 7 year friendship ....no wait....relationship...no wait, it's not you, it's me, wai.....friendship...hold on....we are boyfriend and girlfriend now?.....just friends.....i can't live without you, you're the one for me, yada yada yada, let's get married courtship.
If you want the extended version of all of this, I'd be happy to oblige but for now, let's just say that we finally got engaged after 7 (going on 8) years of on again off again courting.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
haha I know the commerical you are talking about! Dude you must be close to my age -36
I need a tub of icecream and a spoon...anyone wanna share?!? lol
Mommy Graphics
We lived apart for quite some time.
He moved out West. I stayed in Philadelphia. Living with my parents. Ya know, like most conservative, clueless never had sex 34 year old women do.
All the while, I couldn't believe that this man waited for me. His patience made him all the sexier (and yes, he could have gotten a piece of prime steak while being separated from me so far away but I had eyes watching him and he was true to his word)
So as our wedding day came closer, I was starting to get excited albeit a tad nervous as well.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
I was thinking the same thing.
My beautiful ivory lace peignoir was delicately packed away in an overnight bag.
I would transform myself from nerdy virgin to a stunning passionate, sexy goddess with the gentle slip of a garment over my head while he would wait with baited breath in a candlelit room strewn with rose petals.
We would celebrate the moments of our lives ...and harps would play and doves would fly and firecrackers would go off....or perhaps, a magical thunderstorm would ensue...then we would embrace again and the heavens would open up one more time.....
I splashed cold water on my face the morning of my wedding. I was late. Like 45 minutes late. And the wedding night deed was affixed into my head. I had it orchestrated to the very last rose petal on the pillow.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
My sisters and mother and aunts and grandmother helped me dress.
I was ready to be a bride.
There we were exchanging vows and I was overjoyed and READY to say I DO (and also TAKE ME) but I kept it holy.
The reception came and went.
All was well.
At the end of the day, my husband was outside having a break from all the Italian festivities that just overwhelmed a mid-western Kansas boy.
My mother and sisters sat around my room gossiping about who wore black pantyhose with a yellow dress, etc. at the reception.
I was ready to finally leave for our minimoon - a 2 night stay at a local bed and breakfast - a gift given to us by my parents' neighbors.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
That's what she said!
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
The inn was nestled in the heart of the historic countryside...at least that is what the brochure said.
It was a former private school that had been converted into a french inn with views of a courtyard and pool.
Yippee Skippee!
Just what a hopeless romantic wanted to help her give up her cherry.
Mom and aunt gave me a bit of advice....."Just relax" Enjoy yourself. Love your husband. Go with the flow and well......just relax.
uh...ok!
But I should have known things aren't always what you envision them to be.
My "dashing and poetic prince" was actually an ole farmboy hillbilly redneck from Kansas and kept mummbling "Get er done" the whole ride over.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
My mother, sisters, aunts and grandmother have ALWAYS been very close in my life. They have been lifelong friends and confidants. We are a tight knit group. Sometimes too tight. It's true. It takes a village and this village knew when I had a hang nail.
There are rarely any secrets or mysteries that they do not know about.
But my wedding night would be the one true thing that I can own all to myself. Nobody will know the magic that will take place.
cough.
We pulled up the estate at the ebb of night and the gravel under the tires signified that yes, rustic, was the word to describe this establishment.
After my new husband "checked us in" we made our way to the room.
In the dark.
Because, well, nobody else was in our section of the inn and they are conserving electricity and stuff. Luckily, the lights from the parking lot illuminated our way to our door.
Here we are. Room #whatever
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
Admittedly, I was tired.
Very very tired. The day took all my energy. But I was happy to be in a romantic roo....wait a second....
it smells musty in here. Like old fart meets stinky feet smell meets burnt rubber....
I know, I'll light a candle (oh yes, I packed my own candle).
Turning on the light, I noticed just how "rustic" the room was.
Sparse, almost bare....
I was naive.
I thought perhaps this is what Rustic French Country was like. I imagined exotic French women waking up from lavender infused pillows in rooms like this and I came to terms that it was not what I pictured. Ok, I shall proceed to unpack then.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
THIS!
BFP #1: 6/25/09 EDD 2/13/10 @ 6 weeks- Saw HB @ 9 weeks - DS born 2/11/10 (39w5d)
BFP #2: 2/20/13 EDD 11/4/13 - Saw HB 3/19/13 (7w2d) - MMC discovered 4/13/13 (10w5d) - Est. loss @ 9w3d - D&C 4/14/13
BFP #4: 9/10/14 (3w6d) EDD 5/21/15 - natural MC 9/23/14 @ 5w5d
BFP #5: 11/23/14 (3w3d) EDD 8/4/15 - Please be our Rainbow!
A little backstory.
My husband....the dreamy EMT/MEDIC that sauntered into my life 7 years earlier?
Well....
while we were living apart...he was quite at peace living off the land...camping....in a trailer....in the woods. He was a man of little means and liked it that way. Perhaps that is what intrigued me about him. He was not my Mr. Darcy, no...he was more like my John Wayne.
He was never impressed by lavish or lush anything. The simpler the better. He was meat and potatoes. I was Pasta Vodka with a side of bracciole.
So when we entered our room, my immediate reaction was "HUH?!!! WHAT???"
and his was
"YEEEHAWWW!!!!
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
<a href="http://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b316/Vanessro82/?action=view
I was disappointed at the amenities. But again, if this is what the French people - the consummate lovers of the world, live like, then I am game.
It's time for me to take down my updo and slip into something more comfortable (wink wink nudge nudge)
I made my way to the bathroom.
Where's the toilet? Oh how quaint. cough. How about that? You have to hunch over and walk into a sloped dormer to use the toilet. Ha haha...oh yes, rustic. Quite rustic.
Why are there yellow stains around the tile? I'm sleepy...so sleepy. Perhaps my eyes are playing tricks on me but is that a....yes, it's a mouse hole next to the toilet. and that is the sticky paper used to catch rodents in the corner...and yes, that is an open window next to the toilet with a view of the parking lot.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"
I need to take a shower.
I need to have that silky fresh caress kind of feeling....
I pulled open the shower curtain to find these in the tub. Horrified, I skipped the shower.
"Baby, it's not a big deal...it's just a bug...if we were camping, we'd be surrounded by bugs!" my husband failed to console me but he is not like other men. I told you that, right?
"Look, I need to take a shower, you get ready for bed...." he asserted and into the jungle he went.
"Wearing his BING CROSBY clothes and crooning...buuuh buuh buuuh"