ET Didn't Go Well (Long and Vent-y)

pennylanehd · July 2011

I won't sugarcoat it...that whole experience sucked. I had suspected from the numbers that some were lagging behind, but the nurse had never said anything other than "everything looks great" and that the ten LOs were "still going strong."

When I got there this morning, the RE went through embryo and embryo and discussed why each and every one of them was super-fragmented, had arrested development, etc. and would not be viable under any circumstances. As I was sobbing and even DH was starting to cry (third time in twelve years), he said the bottom line was that there was one he thought he might possibly make it, but the odds weren't great. We ended up pushing him to pick the second best and put that one back as well, even though he said he would say that one had a 0% chance. He said under no circumstances would any of these make it to freeze. This is certainly a far cry from the talk we had before we started about how I would almost certainly have lots of frosties and never had to go through the hell of a fresh cycle ever again.

I am trying to hold out hope for the one "marginal" embie they put in and the one we pushed for, but I'm just gutted at the moment. I am angry at the nurse for just selling me rainbows and puppy dogs as late as 10 this morning when I went in at 11:15. I'm disappointed that the RE said that the lack of progression likely indicates "serious egg quality issues due to my chemo as well as serious male factor concerns" when I started the day as "unexplained." I'm sad that they made me sign the form to destroy the other eight embies about one minute after they told me all of this as both DH and I were sobbing in the middle of the open ER area.

I'd really appreciate any "defy those odds" vibes you have for the little two that are tucked away. I would also appreciate any virtual slices of cheesecake you could offer. DH is insisting I eat healthy on bedrest to maximize the chances, but I want cheesecake...doesn't it make everything better?

Aegis2005 · July 2011

I'm so, so sorry that the ET didn't go as expected. I think I would have been in tears as well. Sending T&P's that those embies defy all odds.

Hugs

HotChocolate79 · July 2011

Lots of hugs, virtual cheesecake and prayers sent your way.

jillychris · July 2011

Oh no!!!! I have tears in my eyes as I am reading this. I am so, so, so very sorry to hear this. There is absolutely a chance that your little embies will defy all odds. It absolutely can happen. And yes, cheesecake. You absolutely deserve some. It has dairy in it....that's something healthy, right? Get one with fruit topping and there's your fruit too!

Here's my favorite for you: Snicker's Cheesecake

snoangel79 · July 2011

Sh*t Penny!! I am so sorry and I want to give you a huge hug right now!! I hope the two you put back will do their thing!! Go get some cheesecake!! Do you have a cheesecake factory near you?? Have your husband go and pick out two big pieces!! I will pray and have sticky dust thoughts for you!

babina868 · July 2011

I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. That is devastating to get completely unexpected news like that. I think you've been so strong throughout this process, and you just have a little longer to go. I'm sending lots of sticking vibes your way. Rest up, and I don't see how a little cheesecake could hurt!

Trish11278 · July 2011

I am so sorry Penny that it didn't go as expected. That is horrible that the nurse painted one picture that was completely wrong. When you are feeling better I would definitely address that. I really hope the RE is wrong and that you get a beautiful surprise in a couple weeks. GL & rest up! I am rooting for you!

Trish11278 · July 2011

I am so sorry Penny that it didn't go as expected. That is horrible that the nurse painted one picture that was completely wrong. When you are feeling better I would definitely address that. I really hope the RE is wrong and that you get a beautiful surprise in a couple weeks. GL & rest up! I am rooting for you!

eponine7682 · July 2011

Oh Penny!!!! I am so mad at that RN for you! You really should give her a piece of your mind, it might relieve stress!

I would have cried too. You are a tough cookie and I am sending tons of T&Ps your way that this is your sticky baby!

1stLadyofVienna · July 2011

So many ((HUGS)).

I'm so sorry...sending stardust your way. I hope your little champions are both successful!

icedcoffeeluv · July 2011

I'm so sorry you had to go through this. ((hugs))

I hope you have a fighter (or two) in there.

Edwina.McDunnough · July 2011

duplicate

Brendarph · July 2011

I am so so very sorry that the ET didn't go well. I am sending you all the positive vibes I have that those two little embies fight and keep growing and become your sticky bfp. I say go for the cheesecake you deserve it. Anything to make you feel better right now!!!

Edwina.McDunnough · July 2011

I'm sorry and I double hate that nurse.
Truckloads of beat-those-odds vibes!

Mitzi Bishi · July 2011

So sorry about the disappointment, Penny. I'm starting to get the sinking feeling that I might be in the same boat.

Wishing the best for you and your 2 embryos... as well as plenty of cheesecake!

Mrs.McIrish · July 2011

Oh Penny, I am so sorry to read this. It just sucks. I will pray for your one embie to be the miracle you hoped for. hugs ( and totally eat the darn cheesecake). We need any happiness we can get in these crappy moments.

BeeBee08 · July 2011

Fvck! Fvck! Fvck! I can't believe this happened. This is not the news I was expecting!! I am so fed up with IF today, you don't deserve this at all.

I am sending so many good luck and sticky blast vibes that I can. Stick baby(s) Stick!!!! Huge Huge ((hugs))

And for you...

Paris05 · July 2011

I am so sorry to hear about your experience today. I will say extra prayers those 2 stick. Sending hugs and happy thoughts your way.

And heck yeah- go get some cheesecake. You deserve it.

TotallyLoCo · July 2011

I'm so sorry, there's no other way to put it than to say that totally sucks. I'm sending big time vibes that you've got a fighter in there.

MAbride0808 · July 2011

I am so sorry! I did have one friend that only had one "poor" embyro to transfer and she became pregnant, so it can happen.

(((hugs)))

mtlaurel · July 2011

I am SO sorry and angry at how you were treated by not only the nurse, but also the RE and having to sign forms immediately.

Hoping you and your embies can give a big fvck you to the RE's office when you get your BFP! Hang in there.

Toni79 · July 2011

I'm soooo sorry to hear this. I would totally say something to the RE about the nurse. They deserve to tell you how your embryos are doing, for real!

I say eat the cheescake! It does make almost everything better!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that those two little embryos are nesting away! I want you to prove the RE wrong!!!

naybird · July 2011

Oh hun, I am so sorry. Reading this breaks my heart. I am hoping and praying that there's a fighter in there that results in your take home baby.

We are all here for you. I wish I could bake you a great big cheesecake right now.

HUGE HUGE hugs.

labdemon · July 2011

If you feel an odd squeezing sensation today, it is because I am hugging you right now and sending the vibes to you..... there just aren't any words to say, except by all means, EAT SOME CHEESECAKE.

So sorry, Pennylane. T&P coming your way.

Delta04 · July 2011

Oh Penny, I don't even know what to say. I am so very sorry and my heart is truly breaking for you right now. The ignorance and insensitivity of the staff is inexcusable. I know it is hard but try to hang in there - it ain't over yet.

You deserve to eat all the darn cheesecake in the world. So, here is my contribution to the cheesecake party - take your pick and enjoy...::Hugs::

pennylanehd · July 2011

You guys are some of the loveliest, kindest, sweetest, most wonderful people I "know." I wish you all lived next door and we could take care of each other...we'd make an awesome hippie IF chick commune. We'd have lots of food and fuzzy socks! Stick out tongue

Plus, how could I forget about the cheesecake...that totally cheered me up! Thanks, my loves! Big Smile

srkm · July 2011

My heart is broken for you. This is so unfair and I am so mad at your nurse...that is just so wrong! Just know that those embies can absolutely stick! Miracles happen everyday! Lots of prayers and sticky vibes coming your way.

Enjoy the virtual cheesecake...(((HUGS)))

Kitttkattt · July 2011

I am so sorry. And so angry for you about the nurses. That was so wrong. I don't know if they think it helps or if they just dread giving bad news or just too lazy in case patients have questions after bad news. Whatever it is, false hope is horrible. The nurses at my clinic are like this too. It destroys any trust in the future in anything they say.

lovemygs · July 2011

Oh, hon, I'm so sorry. It's amazing what embies can do, so please don't give up or lose hope. I'm sending tons of good vibes your way!

As for the nurse --- WTF?! That is insane that she could carry on like that for days without being totally honest with you. That is BS.

softbalangel · July 2011

I'm so sorry things did not go as expected. Sending you tons of T&Ps and defying the odds vibes.

((hugs))

Bella2u07 · July 2011

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Sending you TONS of sticky vibes for your little fighter(s)!!!!

BIG HUGS

MrsFeatherbottom · July 2011

((hugs)) I'm so sorry that not only are you in this situation, but you were completely blindsided by everything. I really, really hope that these embryos beat the odds.

Eat as much as cheesecake as you need

shirz903 · July 2011

I am so so sorry. I am sending great thoughts and vibes your way, there is always hope and cheesecake in bed does make everything better!! Cheesecake milkshakes are pretty awesome too and not as gross as it sounds, I swear.

missjul61 · July 2011

I'm so sorry. I sincerely hope you have fighters in there that will bring you a BFP.

blueberries8 · July 2011

Here is a slice of chocolate raspberry cheesecake for you. I am so, so sorry the ET was such a disaster. Huge hugs to you!! I also think it was really unacceptable for them to string you along. I am sending so many thoughts and prayers to the embryos you transferred today that one or both are full of surprises. Thinking of you.

Mandy_Lou83 · July 2011

I'm so sorry your ET didn't go well. I too was one of those that was a shoe in for the first IVF to work since our only dx was MFI until I was hit in the face w/ the egg quality issues. Sending tons of positive vibes your way.

kyna81 · July 2011

My heart is breaking for you. Big hugs and lots of cheesecake!

FraggleChic · July 2011

I am so terribly sorry for your bad news. ((HUGS))

jodesta · July 2011

This made me so sad reading this! No one should have to go through that, especially someone who has put up with so much $h*t already! Crossing fingers and toes that you have a tough little embie snuggling in.