Do you go to bed angry?!

AlissaCell701 · July 2011

Dh and I got into a fight earlier this evening. I actually left for a bit to cool off went to target..this is also combined w a baby who wouldn't nap today..So I basically put myself in a time out. I Came back and wasn't fully over it..he is though and wants to make up. I am just not ready. My bff who is a therapist told me once the key to marriage is that it's ok to go to bed angry.. Sometimes sleeping on it can give you a different perspective. I was just wondering where You ladies fell on this Topic.. Should I just let it go?!

LVBlvd · July 2011

I really don't like to, but the worst time to try and work something out with my husband is 11 PM. He wants to sleep. So there have been a few times (lately...uggh) where I am upset and want to talk, but he just wants to sleep.

I sit there in bed and think about how mad I am, how I am not going to call him tomorrow, etc. etc...then when I wake up, I am normally over it. It is funny how I feel so much better with some sleep and a new day.

So - while I would prefer to talk at night, sometimes I think it is okay to just let it go and see how you feel in the morning. Chances are, you'll be over it (provided it wasn't something major).

AlissaCell701 · July 2011

Nope it's a stupid fight.. Abt jakes bday.. Not major I am just irritated more then anything..

preheatedoven · July 2011

posted twice...see below.

preheatedoven · July 2011

In our house it's the opposite. DH always want to talk about it, and I just want to go to bed and deal with it in the morning. Usually by the time we wake up we are both over it, especially if it wasn't something serious.

cjsbdl · July 2011

Yes, I do. Sometimes I just need some time to stew.

cjsbdl · July 2011

LVBlvd:

I sit there in bed and think about how mad I am, how I am not going to call him tomorrow, etc. etc

Ha ha! I think you and I are a lot alike in how we interact with our husbands. And not necessarily in a good way. Big Smile

LCB34 · July 2011

LVBlvd:

I really don't like to, but the worst time to try and work something out with my husband is 11 PM. He wants to sleep. So there have been a few times (lately...uggh) where I am upset and want to talk, but he just wants to sleep.

I sit there in bed and think about how mad I am, how I am not going to call him tomorrow, etc. etc...then when I wake up, I am normally over it. It is funny how I feel so much better with some sleep and a new day.

So - while I would prefer to talk at night, sometimes I think it is okay to just let it go and see how you feel in the morning. Chances are, you'll be over it (provided it wasn't something major).

This is exactly how it goes in my house too!

KYRN · July 2011

Yes! I'm usually over it by the morning, and if I'm not, I'm calm enough to try and talk through it.

ladychicago · July 2011

We try to at least get to a point where we can apologize for not fighting fair or overreacting/escalating the argument... So that we can just agree to disagree before bed. But sometimes it is just words and I still go to bed stewing. Yet i almost always wake up feeling better about it.

dusk42 · July 2011

My counselor says to think of different times you have been angry with someone and rate it on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 is the worst). And then she said that if you are arguing and you get to a 3, both people need to back off and agree to come back together to talk after a set amount of time. She said that nothing rational can be settled once you get to about a 5, and it just escalates from there. I think it is much better to sleep on it and agree to talk the next morning, or have lunch, or the next evening. It does clear my head.

cara-n-steve · July 2011

Yes. When I get mad, I just want to be alone and be grumpy. Normally when I wake up in the morning I'm not mad anymore, and if I am, I'm much calmer and can talk about things with out going crazy!

wiscgirl95 · July 2011

Unfortunately yes. All the time. DH works nights and if he does something to piss me off before he leaves for work then I stew all night and go to bed angry. And I can't really call him at work and b!tch at him since he works in either the ER or ICU . . . so I'm low priority.

nikinikinine · July 2011

I am one of those people who can't sleep when something is bothering me, so i don't like to go to bed angry. I'd rather duke it out and get less sleep, than not sleep at all.

My husband is also the type that can give the silent treatment for days (years?) so if we go to bed angry he'll carry the bullsh!t forward for the whole day.

We definitely talk through things as they happen.

CJ71903 · July 2011

It totally depends. We actually just had a minor, stupid argument and I just don't feel like talking to him right now, so I'm in bed and he's up watching baseball. Chances are things will be better in the morning.

alchris · July 2011

KYRN:
Yes! I'm usually over it by the morning, and if I'm not, I'm calm enough to try and talk through it.

This. The little arguments are usually moot by morning. The big ones usually take a couple days so we'll start to talk about it and then process more the next day. My problem is that I can't sleep when they're going on and I always want to discuss it right then, especially with bigger issues, but it's best for our marriage to wait a bit to conclude anything.

Ali212 · July 2011

We try not to but I can be very stubborn and my husband can sort of lose energy and decide he'd rather sleep than keep arguing / talking in circles. Then I get more frustrated w/ him b/c I stew on it even more. I think in that case it's less about going to sleep angry and more about me learning to let go and be a little less stubborn when we argue.

Want a personalized experience?

Do you go to bed angry?!

Re: Do you go to bed angry?!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards