3rd trimester sex

dianna_f84 · July 2011

My husband has not been in the mood for the past month or so. I keep bringing it up and making an issue of it, because I am worried that he is turned off by my new body. He says that he still finds me just as sexy, but he does not want to do it for fear of causing my water to break. He said that is the only thing going on, that there is nothing wrong. Even with knowing that, I still feel completely rejected and even more unattractive. I know how foolish it is to be upset over something so insignificant, but no matter how much I try to put it out of my head, I can't let it go. Help!

Fianschneid · July 2011

It isn't foolish to be upset. Sit down with your husband and let him know your doctor has given you the go ahead (assuming that this is true and you aren't at any risks). Maybe if sex still bothers him, the two of you could try some external stimulation.

rguinn75 · July 2011

if it makes you feel any better... sex in the 3rd tri is not always the most comfy thing for you or your partner.. Just realize he loves you and that is all that matters!

ExpatFamily06 · July 2011

You need to sit down with your dh and discuss his fears. I can't believe that he's afraid that your water will break. Maybe print some info out for him or next time you go to the Dr have your dh got too.

I know how you feel about feeling unattractive. I feel hideous but dh assures me that he's fine with how I look. Still, when it's been ages since we've had sex I start to feel rejected, but that happens even when I am not pg. Life seems to get in the way though and he's tired from work and I am just sooooo tired anymore so our sex life has definitely waned.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. Just talk with your dh.

eli_and_jeff · July 2011

If you figure out the logistics of this one let me know. My belly exploded in size about three weeks ago and sex is just plain awkward. The last time we tried, we had to take a break halfway through because we were laughing so hard.

We're into alternate method of intimacy now. Massages, cuddling, etc. DH is very good about telling me I'm beautiful and giving me a good long kiss for no reason, so it helps.

Like PP said, you should talk to him about it.

jpsquared · July 2011

DH is afraid of squishing the baby. Lol. He's very intelligent and knows that his fear is completely irrational and conflicts with basic anatomy, but he still thinks that. I jokingly told him he should be more afraid of what she will see while she's looking out through my belly button, and he got the hint.

ilovemygirls · July 2011

My DH was totally not into sex during either of my pg's. The pg body was just too weird for him. And honestly- when you look at yourself- it's pretty hysterical what the body turns into. You should talk to him & tell him how you're feeling, but you also need to tap into a sense of humor about it all. Some guys love it, some guys don't care, some guys are weirded out. But I never doubted that my DH loved me, and as long as you know that, everything else will work itself out.

mamastich · July 2011

I think theres nothing wrong if he isnt up for it and you could pass as well, but if its important to you to be having sex then you guys should def sit down and talk it out.

Personally me and DH have almost been on the same page the whole time but when I say no.. its def not gonna happen

christiney06 · July 2011

i'm sorry, that sucks. how far along are you? if you still have a month or 2 left that is going to be one heck of a dry spell. you most likely will not be up for sex til 6-8wks PP if that! good luck talking some sense into him!

FyshWyfe · July 2011

I agree with PPs about trying to find some alternative activities that will satisfy your urges but more importantly, make you feel connected. Sometimes it's amazing what a good old-fashioned make out session can do. With this pregnancy sex has been pretty miserable for me, so we went through a few really long dry spells. As long as we kept talking about it (e.g., discussing how much we missed each other's bodies) helped us stay in touch emotionally. Good luck.

dianna_f84 · July 2011

Thanks, ladies. I did have a big talk with him today, and I explained to him that it's not the actual sex I'm missing - it's the connection to him. I forget that this is a stressful time for him as well.

CalinsBride · July 2011

eli_and_jeff:

If you figure out the logistics of this one let me know. My belly exploded in size about three weeks ago and sex is just plain awkward. The last time we tried, we had to take a break halfway through because we were laughing so hard.

We're into alternate method of intimacy now. Massages, cuddling, etc. DH is very good about telling me I'm beautiful and giving me a good long kiss for no reason, so it helps.

Like PP said, you should talk to him about it.

Doggy style.

You're welcome

tabbitha2 · July 2011

i wish my husband didnt want to . He doesnt care that im bigger now , and he wants to every night. and at this point do we even feel comfortable or have energy to do it . i at this point physically just cant ahhhh. but i see what u mean it would bother me too. i wish i could give great advice on it .

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