Did you have a lot of guilt for the LO that stayed at the hospital? I miss Vivian so much when Im not at the hospital. I cant spend that much time with her because of Annie and Cecelia being home; I only take them to visit her when they appointments; I still go every day but only for a couple hours. I get to devout that time to her but I feel so guilty and sad leaving her. Then when I get home I want to spend time with A & C but feel guilty because V isn't here. So is this something I can add to her list of 'things to discuss with the therapist' when she's a teenager?
ETA: I told DH that I was spending all day at the hospital on the weekend with her.
Re: MoMs: Babies coming home at diffent times...
Unfortunately, I was discharged Tuesday and we have to leave our first baby in the hospital until at least Sunday best case scenario. It is so frustrating and emotional. You always imagine the happy day that you are discharged and are wheeled out with baby in your arms...
We almost feel worse when we go to visit her so its really hard. We want to go there and "support" her and be there for her. But inevitably, we end up getting teary eyed and upset for a few hours after we leave.
I know its irrational, but I feel like she will forget who we are and we won't be able to bond with her during the first weeks of her life. I feel robbed of it and said that by the time she is out my maternity leave will almost be done.
So I definately relate
I obviously don't have multiples but every time this happens I think about how hard it would be. You are doing a great job caring for all three girls (who have beautiful names by the way-I just knew their innitials before!). I can't imagine having your heart in three places like that but Vivian will be home soon and then you will have everyone together at last.
Be strong-you are so close to ending this part of your journey!
Our precious girl, born at 27 weeks.
It's so very hard. You are not alone with these feelings at all. For almost two whole months I'd drag Blake back and forth to visit Addison and everyday feeling like I was missing a huge peice of the puzzle. It was also difficult because DH is currently in his busy season which has left ALOT of this up to just me. He gets home at 10pm and it's not a wise idea to visit Addison that time of night, so I knew I had to take Blake and going during the day while everyone else worked.
One of my saving graces was a few AMAZING nurses that kept me in the loop and were my voice if I wasn't present.
There were days when I could stay for HOURS and days when I was lucky to get an hour before I had to leave because Blake was too fussy OR had his own appts, etc.
The only thing to do is hang in there... Hopefully you won't have to do this dance much longer.
DH keeps reminding me that H doesn't know any different than being at the hospital. Nor does he have a concept of time at this point. It's comforting to me knowing that he will not remember his NICU time.
I can't speak to this, because I haven't experienced it. But, every time I see this happen my heart breaks a little for the parents. I can't imagine the stress and sadness it would cause.
Hopefully you w ill all be reunited at home soon!
We'll miss you sweet Debbie Girl (4.21.12) and sweet Cindy Girl (8.9.12)
I was only able to peek in on her this afternoon but I plan to go back up there as soon as DH gets home. Tue this weekend I will spend many hours with her.
Yup. Totally get that. Luckily our first two went home only a couple days apart and we could bring the babies back with us. When I had 2 at home and 1 there, though, it was pretty impossible, so I had to leave them at home with hubby while I made the hour drive down and stayed for 2 feeds, then came back.
Then, it turned out that she doesn't like the bottle, so for me to get her home I had to board at the hospital for 48 hours to show she could nurse all feeds and gain weight. Longest 2 days of my life being away from the other two.
My point is - it's hard, but it all seems like a blur/distant memory (and it was only a week ago). I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but it is possible to make it through and I doubt I'll remember much of it in a few years.