- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
December 2011 Moms
s/o What do you feel judged for?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: s/o What do you feel judged for?
Having a can of Diet Mt. Dew in the am - even though Doc's fine with it. (He actually approved 2!)
Being 34
Undergoing IVF to get pregnant.
Being two women raising a family together.
Being two women raising a BOY. (But how can you do this without a father? A boy needs his father!) I guess we'll be taking advice from all the single mothers out there - and passing it along to all of the strong male role models this kid will have in his life! Also, it's interesting to note that these same people don't seem to think little girls need their fathers as much as little boys. I know this isn't true for me!
Speaking of, as of this morning I now feel judged for calling my Dad "Daddy." LOL
This is a great thread.
For me, it goes along the lines of others. I feel judged for being a happy working mom. I am so lucky that DH also has a great career and could support us entirely on his own, so this feeds into it alot (like why would I "want" to work outside of the home if I don't "have" to)---I work for a great company, for a great group of women, who give me all of the work life balance I could ask for and have pegged me for the "leadership" track to take their jobs in the next 3-5 years. We also have a WONDERFUL babysitter who makes life so easy for us to manage it all. It is ideal, really. But as more and more of our friends make the decision to SAH, I am feeling more and more like the outcast for actually wanting to work and consciously making that choice. I completely respect their decisions and are happy that they are doing what works for them, so why is it so difficult for them to give me the same?
Will baby #3 be another girl?
]
Word.
Even though I'm guilty of being judgy mcjudgerpants about certain stuff, most people are doing their best with the circumstances they've been given. The key is to try to just watch your own bobber. It's a noble cause.
That we're not married yet. . My fiancee and I have been together for 8 years but had a break up about 5 yrs ago that lasted almost a year. We've been together ever since and have been trying to save up for a wedding since my family can't afford one (unfortunately both my parents are unemployed right now).
Well once we found out we were pregnant both our families really wanted us to get married ASAP, which I was fine with and we were just going to go to the courthouse... Well we found out that if we got married, I would lose my insurance and F's insurance doesn't kick in until Nov/Dec when I am due Dec 6th. So that wouldn't work at all!
So now F's parents are not happy with us for not being married when the only thing they asked us was to be married before our baby arrived. My fiancee feels like crap cus his Dad is disappointed with him for having another child out of marriage. Long story short: Fiancee and his high school GF got pg 9 yrs ago and now have an 8 yr old son that he's not allowed to be in his life much cus she's selfish and wants their son all to herself and her new husband.
My fiancee wants me to have my dream wedding which is really sweet of him but makes me feel bad cus his family (very very Mormon) is mad at him/us but doesn't say anything around me about it. So even though people are not happy with us for not being married, we are planning on getting married next June, and I am SOO excited to finally be my babes wife!!!!!
I feel judged by friends and family because after a lot of thought and a legit pros/cons list and many hours of discussion, we decided DH will take a year off of school. He's been working on his degree in Engineering now for 4 years at our community college and would have been transferring to a private university in the fall for two more years to finish up. The money we were saving to be able to pay cash for college is now going towards medical bills and baby-related expenses, plus a lot to savings to help cover the unpaid part of my maternity leave.
We have our reasons and I don't think we need to spend hours explaining and justifying our decisions to people. We decided this because we think it is what is best for our child and our family, not because he's just lazy and tired of school. It was not an easy decision and it just makes it worse when people judge when they really have no idea what went into this decision. And they keep saying sh!t like, well if you stop now, you'll never go back, etc etc... Like my husband isn't determined or dedicated enough to ever finish his education.
At least now we'll have a very nice chunk of money in savings, we potentially will be able to be debt free by the spring and also have enough saved to pay cash for the university next year and we won't have to try to juggle two full time jobs and school and taking care of our child, with no savings.
For being so young AND looking even younger. I'm twenty-three, been happily married for two years now; but i look like I'm still in high school. As a teacher I constantly get mistaken for a student when I'm at work. I just always feel like people are staring disdainfully when I'm shopping for baby things, maternity clothes, or at the doctors' offices. It's even worse now that I'm starting to show. I just have to keep reminding myself that while I'm young, I'm more mature and stable than a lot of people who are years older than me and we're ready for this.