Community› The Bump Message Boards› School-Aged Children
School-Aged Children
New Discussion

Daycare/Camp issue with Tickling-Need some advice

Kjsoa76Kjsoa76 member
in School-Aged Children

Ok I have been with this daycare for 3 years.  I love it, and haven't had many major issues.  Untill yesterday!  My daughter came home and during dinner told us that "Mike" tickles her and a couple other girls at the center.  Now Mike is a 17 year old helper there who happens to also be the director's son.  He is a very nice kid and I have never heard/seen anything bad about him. I know it's unusual to have a male working at a daycare, but it is her son so I can see why she hired him.  So we proceeded to ask our 5 year old questions about the tickling, where does he do it, show us how he does it, does he do it to everyone etc... she said it is just her and a few of the other girls her age and it's just in the tummy area and it's in a group setting--never alone... I know I want to address this and put a stop to it. (My husband is furious about it) I don't think he is doing anything suspicious, but noone should be tickling my child at daycare.  I also don't want dd to think it's ok for others (especially males) to tickle her.  My question is how should address it without offending the director and having her think I think her son is a child molestor?

Report Reply to Post

Re: Daycare/Camp issue with Tickling-Need some advice

  • shouldbworkinshouldbworkin
    I'd give her a heads up about it and state that while you don't think the touching is inappopriate, it makes it hard for you to teach your DC about appropriate touching.  This is the sort of thing that would probably get her in trouble in elementary school too, so it's a good idea not to teach it at daycare.  Hopefully she'll understand what you're talking about and handle it the right way. 
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • tothemaxx04tothemaxx04

    What if you approached it as you are concerned for her son's well being.  Tell her that your LO came home talking about how "BOB" tickles her and while you don't feel that anything inappropriate is going on... you could see where other parents might.  Explain that you just wanted her to know so that she could address it with her son before a more "high-strung" parent gets upset.

    Then maybe she won't go on the defence so quickly?  Just a thought!

    Report Reply
  • neverblushedneverblushed member

    This is why preschool directors should never hire their own children.

    Since it's not explicitly sexual touching, you might not want to be the one who brings up the inappropriateness or makes that judgment, especially since the counselor who's doing it is also the director's son.   But you can put a stop to it anyway, by asking that the tickling stop, regardless of the reason.  You could say to the director, "Hey -- my DD is really enjoying camp this summer, except for one thing: she complained the other day about being tickled.  She really likes working with Mike as a counselor and doesn't want to say anything, but she is tired of being tickled so much."

    Let the director handle this with her son.  If she's any good, she'll handle this with her son (and any future employees) in a way that makes it clear to older kids why this type of interaction is a real problem.

    High School English teacher and mom of 2 kids:

    DD, born 9/06/00 -- 12th grade
    DS, born 8/25/04 -- 7th grade
    Report Reply
  • tganieretganiere
    There are rules and such that an organization (any kind that works with kids) must follow!! -- All the above is correct - but I really agree with the post about approaching the situation with the boy's best interest at heart....I work in the toddler/kinderg class at our church - and I have a young man who is a helper. Before he even started he new the rules, followed all the ethics/etc for our church....but I also "remind each child" that this young man isn't a jungle gym, or their "big brother" he's the helper and also has to be givin "space" and "boundries"...that's for "his protection too!"
    Theresa Ganiere Momma of 3, future Momma of 4! Lilypie Pregnancy tickers image
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"