How do you go out with your DH?

marchmom2011 · July 2011

We have a wedding to go to in two months so I have started asking around for family/friends to babysit. No one wants to come to watch DS when he is sleeping and I was told very bluntly by a family member that I was ridiculous to even ask him to watch DS at my house. He might consider it, but I would have to bring DS (and all his gear) to his house and then pick him up later that night.

I need some help here, DS has a strick (self imposed by him screaming if it doesn't happen) bedtime of 7pm. There is no way I can go to a wedding and have him up and at someone else's house until 11pm. Am I crazy for asking a family member to watch him at our house while we are at the wedding? Should I just not be going to a wedding or anywhere at night until he is older and I can have a teenager watching him?

Please help. How do you all go out at night if you have something you need to/or would like to do?

MissYouDietCoke · July 2011

I'm sorry your family isn't stepping it up. Your requests are not unreasonable at all. It would be way easier for everything to take place at your house. ALso, if they want play time w/ the kid, why don't they come over at 5p to see him before he goes to bed (and while you are still home?)

Our friends watched a movie at our house last night while DH and I went out to dinner. That was the first time we'd had friends watch him (and they offered) These friends are a pediatrics resident and a pediatric anesthesiologist, so, as babysitters, they are overqualified. Even still, he gave them a challenge that he doesn't normally give us! (he woke up at 10p and screamed his head off for about 20min)

We also rely on out of town family to babysit for us, too. Our parents tell us to plan date nights when they visit. (my parents will be here at the end of the month, we're going to see the new HP movie).

krysimulf · July 2011

I have to say I'm a little confused by your family's responses. Do they live far away, so coming to your house would be an ordeal? I don't think it is a ridiculous request. It's hard to transport a LO with all their stuff, not to mention waking them in the middle of the night to get them home. And you and your DH need some couple time!

My family is almost too willing to watch LO (I'm lucky I know) but if we are going out later in the evening I ask them if they want to come over earlier so they can spend some time with LO when she's awake. That way I feel less guilty leaving them to sit at my house while she sleeps. I also always make sure to have yummy food and some good movies on the DVR.

Would you feel comfortable leaving LO overnight at a relatives?

I'm sorry they are being uncooperative!

GL

bmp84 · July 2011

Sounds ridiculous to me!

We've only gone out a few times. We take her to my parent's house, my mom does the whole bath/bedtime routine with her and then instead of putting her down in the crib or PNP, she puts her in the carseat. We're lucky that Lena is flexible and doesn't seem to mind it. When she was tiny, we just left her in the carseat until she woke up to eat during the night. Now that she's bigger, we transfer her to the PNP in our room when we get home. Do you have a teenage cousin/niece that would be willing to hang out at your house?

marchmom2011 · July 2011

Thanks! I was starting to get confused too and needed to hear that I wasn't asking something ridiculous. We've had a lot of people offer to babysit, but when it comes down to it they won't I love the idea of asking people to come over spend some time before he goes to bed and then going out.

Our family actually all mostly live 15 mins away, so it is not a big deal at all. Our mothers split day care for us during the week, so I think it is too much for them to spend so much time here during the week to then be here on the weekends too, but the one who insisted it had to be at his house was making me feel like I was crazy and I stopped calling around to ask anyone else. The ironic part is he and his wife are ttc and when I reminded him that soon enough he would need the same favor from me is when he told me how ridiculous I was for expecting him to come here. LO isn't STTN yet (he gets up 2ish times a night) so I don't think they would handle that very well.

Tomorrow I will keep asking around. Thanks for letting me know that going out after babies does happen and I am not being unreasonable. Thanks so much for the advice!

globetrotting7 · July 2011

We live an hour away from family and always drop him at my mom's house but one idea is instead of dragging all your baby gear along to someone's house, have your baby sleep in the stroller for the first 4 hours of the night. Our chicco keyfit 30 lays flat with a bit of an incline. My LO slept swaddled and in his stroller for two nights and he slept through the night. This of course depends on what kind of a sleeper your baby is.

katlizabeth · July 2011

I think it's totally reasonable to have someone to your house. If you can't have family do it, then can you hire someone (someone older, if you don't want a teenager)? We went to a wedding last night and grandparents stayed and watched ds and dd. We sometimes have my aunt stay here and watch the kids. But not often. We've gotten out once (last night) since dd was born. Prior to that, we didn't go out enough when we only had ds. Only a few times.

jteneback · July 2011

My MIL is always happy to watch her at our house. Or, I can ask my nanny since she is already very comfortable with DD and vice versa. We only go out about once a month, though.

LoveMyScarlett · July 2011

You asking them to come to your house is not ridiculous at all. You are the one with the baby!! We have been out three times and all three times my family has come to the house without any complaint. I am sorry they are treating you this way. My Mom and Dad even live an hour away.

daisygirl2010 · July 2011

We've gone out to dinner 4 times without DD since she was born. Each time, someone came over to the house to watch her (my parents twice & a friend twice). It seems to me like a very reasonable thing to expect at this age.

handsonthewheel · July 2011

We don't have family close to us so we haven't been out without LO at all since she was born(and probably won't until we move back to the US next summer) but if we did have family close to us, I wouldn't hesitate to ask them to come to our place. It would be easier on them and baby to be at our house and have everything on hand and I really don't see why a family member couldn't take an evening to sit and read or watch tv at your place while your LO sleeps, especially someone who you could return the favor to!

chinadoll531 · July 2011

it's always been easier for us to take DD to someone else's house because all of our family/friends who watch her have kids of their own, but if we ever needed them to come here it wouldn't be a problem. It makes more sense to watch him at your house rather than have him disrupted at someone else's.

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