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handling parties with allergies

debbadebbadoo711debbadebbadoo711
in Food Allergy

We recently went to our first party since C. was diagnosed with egg white and peanut allergy.  The other guests were extended family that we don't see very often and there were a ton of people there.  I didn't tell anyone ahead of time about C's allergies- to be honest, I didn't even think about it.  A relative that was holding C. started feeding him some kind of casserole off her plate that contained ground beef and goodness knows what else (Charlie is a vegetarian) so I had to run over and explain the situation about his diet.

I am new at this, so what is the etiquette here?  Should I call the host ahead of time and let them know?  How do you handle a large party?  Should he wear a sign that says "Don't feed me." ;)  I am not upset with my relative for feeding him- she had no way of knowing and it was my own fault for not telling her.  Please let me know how you have let party guests know of your LO's food allergies without having to pull out a megaphone. 

 

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Re: handling parties with allergies

  • mrs_kelly1014mrs_kelly1014 member

    Honestly, at a party where not everyone is acutely aware of DS's allergies, I just watch him like a hawk and am a complete hover-parent. I don't let him out of my sight, so that we don't end up in a situation where someone is trying to feed him.

    We've been dealing food allergies for quite a while now (since DS was 9 months) so most of our friends/family very much understand that DH and I are the only ones who can feed him.

    If we are going to a party with people that don't know, I don't call the host - I just bring food he can eat. If I tell the host ahead of time, she might try to make something he can eat, but I still wouldn't let him eat it if it wasn't prepared by me. I do bring food with me, and I also bring a cupcake or something for him to eat (if it's a birthday party) so that he's not left out.

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  • debbadebbadoo711debbadebbadoo711
    Thanks!  As you can imagine, we did watch him like a hawk for the rest of the party.  This is so new to me and I know I didn't prepare properly for the situation. 
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  • mrs_kelly1014mrs_kelly1014 member

    imagedebbadebbadoo711:
    Thanks!  As you can imagine, we did watch him like a hawk for the rest of the party.  This is so new to me and I know I didn't prepare properly for the situation. 

    Oh my goodness - I hope it didn't sound like I was trying to imply that you didn't watch him! That was not my intention at all! You were obviously watching him as you removed him from the situation quickly.

    Food allergies just suck, and they completely change the way gatherings and parties work. I don't know at what age I'll let him go off on his own. Birthday parties for friends (once he's in gradeschool and old enough to go alone) terrify me! Not sure how we will handle those in the future.

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  • mcarter127mcarter127 member
    There is definitely a steep learning curve when it comes to FA, so definitely don't beat yourself up over it. It is so hard to anticipate all the "what if's" in any given situation & as OP said, it does suck! I always bring food for DS wherever we are going, half the time I pack for him like we're going to be gone for a week instead of a few hours! There are friends/relative's houses where we spend a lot of time so I do keep some of his safe food staples there (can of formula, pancake mix, snacks, frozen meal options, etc) so i don't have to pack quite as much every time. As for parties, I pack foods that are already prepared & usually don't need to be heated. I bring silverware & everything I need for him & I also carry clorox wipes so I can wipe the table down to avoid any cc issues. As OP said, if it is a party where cake will be served, we always bring a cupcake for him so he doesn't get upset. Parties give me a ton of anxiety but I think any public situation that I can't completely control does! The other thing that I always make sure to have on hand is the benadryl pre-measured spoons. I keep a bunch in the diaper bag in a pouch with his Epi-pen. They are wonderful for those situations where he may have accidentally gotten ahold of something but isn't having a reaction yet. Anyways, I hope that helps & it does get easier as you get more used to planning for all the different occasions. I would definitely have a serious talk with close family members & friends though so that they understand what DS needs to avoid & how serious it is. I also make sure my friends kids know not to feed him too cause DS tends to be sneaky & try to snatch stuff from them! My friend's 4 y/o is great & yells for me whenever he sees DS put anything in his mouth! Good luck!
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  • kms34kms34 member
    We also take DS' food with us.  If not, I just make sure DH or I are the only ones who feed him.  My parents and ILs are pretty good but they aren't as constantly aware as we are.  MIL gave him a bite of her Jimmy John's sandwich with mayo not thinking that mayo has egg in it.  Needless to say, he got sick and she felt awful.  Now we just watch him like a hawk and make sure cousins and other relatives don't try to feed him.
    * DS1...allergic to dairy, peanuts, eggs and turkey *
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  • magdusiamagdusia member

    We hardly ever hand him off to anyone, family or not.  Especially when food is served.. before food comes out than yes, he plays and runs around... but as soon as we see pizza or any food come out he gets picked up by me or my DH and we take turns to eat. 

    The reality is -we can't let anyone hold him anymore. Most people will never understand what can happen if he eats something he shouldn't so why take that chance.  Some people have a "Safe" person that they trust, we don't.

    The killer is, we usually leave before the cake is served  :(  sucks!

    we had a first bday party this past weekend and i swear, everything had eggs/cheese on it.. we left after an hour b/c i started noticing food on the floor.

    i think it will be different once a child understands his allergies and won't eat stuff from the floor. 

    Oh and luckily we haven't had anyone try feeding him yet.. maybe b/c i'm super vocal about his allergies and pretty much make it a conversation everywhere i go.

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  • blue33blue33 member
    Yes, I too am a loud proclaimer of "MY CHILD CAN'T HAVE THAT" ! We have only been to a few family functions, and we go to our first birthday party on Sunday. I called the child's mom and told her about my son's allergy, and asked what she would be serving. Not in a mean way, but just to see what do you serve at a 1 year old's party. I told her that I would be bringing his food, and she graciously offered to bake him a sweet potato and apples, so he could eat with the other kids. I was so touched, I cried. I would not dream of putting anyone out or make them go to extra trouble, and I told her that was not necessary. Most of my friends really understand when you let them know that your child could get sick due to allergies. Now, as far as family, that is another animal. For some reason, we have gotten the most resistance from our close family members who think that either we are over reacting or "just a little bit" won't hurt him.
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  • loveemandle2loveemandle2

    I do the same as other people have mentioned.  I always have food for the kids to eat, and don't let the kids out of my sight.  Also, I have found dd's medical alert bracelet helpful.  The front of it says peanut allergy and the back has all the rest of her allergies as well.  I can't tell you how many people have come up to me and said, what a good idea it is, that she wears it.  That way if she gets away from me at a party, and people don't know they either notice the emblem, or dd shows them showing it off b/c she thinks it is pretty. 

     

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  • debbadebbadoo711debbadebbadoo711
    imagemrs_kelly1014:

    imagedebbadebbadoo711:
    Thanks!  As you can imagine, we did watch him like a hawk for the rest of the party.  This is so new to me and I know I didn't prepare properly for the situation. 

    Oh my goodness - I hope it didn't sound like I was trying to imply that you didn't watch him! That was not my intention at all! You were obviously watching him as you removed him from the situation quickly.

    Food allergies just suck, and they completely change the way gatherings and parties work. I don't know at what age I'll let him go off on his own. Birthday parties for friends (once he's in gradeschool and old enough to go alone) terrify me! Not sure how we will handle those in the future.

    No, I didn't get that impression at all, LOL! Big Smile I was more worried that it was going to sound like I wasn't watching my kid! Smile

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