Okay ladies, tell me the truth....(please)

AlexJ217 · July 2011

I know having two kids is going to be hard. I know the first few months will be the worst - lack of sleep, exhaustion, adjusting, etc. But how bad was it? When does it get better? Is it easier the second time around because you know what to expect? Or harder in the sense you still need to care for LO1?

DD is 13 months and I am due in Feb. According to my EDD these two kiddos will be almost exactly 21 months apart. Both were planned. Both were wanted. But now I am freaking out! I am remembering how hard the first days, months were with DD. DH because paranoid about germs and people touching/holding DD. He would wash his hands so often that they would crack/bleed. It was almost to the point of needing help. We fought a lot. I know it was exhaustion. I know our marriage wasnt on the line but some days its was very sad around here. I went to the doctor for PPD. He was willing to put me on meds. We tried switching my BCP to see if that would adjust my hormones. Thank goodness it started working. But those first few months were miserable. And now I am wondering how I am going to do it again - while still caring for LO1. In the last few months I became a SAHM. So I know I will be the primary care giver for both kiddos. DH works 40 hours a week outside of the house, with a long commute (I know this is common). How am I going to do it all??

Thanks for your advice.

NavyPilotWife · July 2011

I thought that it was a lot easier the second time around. DH was home for a week after DD2 was born and his main job was to take care of DD1. He would get up with her in the morning and that would give me a little extra sleep with DD2. I would also try to nap in the afternoons. I was alone with both kids for 5 days, when DD2 was 2 weeks old. It was fine :-)

vanessaNOV2 · July 2011

My first son was and still is a tough stubburn kid. I cried when I found out I was.prego again (they are 13 months apart) but ds#2 is a angel. He is so laid back & loves to watch his bro play. They first 4 months with both of them were hard, like survival mode. I didnt eat until lunch or when dh would come home from work, just no time. I can say now ds#2 is 6 months & I think it has gotten much better. I actually take them both to the zoo by myself once a.week. You will learn when they need to at or sleep so you can plan an outi.g with them around those things. I just kept thinking other moms have done this so why cant I? Also I was surprised by how nice it felt when my mom & other fam members.tell me what a great job im doing raising them. Time goes by so fadt raising two under two so remember to take lots of pics! Dont worry about printing them right away,.just save them bc later when you.get time you will have lots of memories of the cray early years!

Cajun_gal · July 2011

Mine are 14 months apart. It hasn't been easy, but it also isn't as hard as I expected it to be. In some ways, it has been easier than with DS#1 because I know more of what to expect. I know that "this too shall pass". I also know that DS#2 will be fine if he cries for a little bit while caring for #1 or getting him a bottle, etc. But, in other ways, it's harder. There aren't many breaks at first. After we'd put DS#1 down, DS#2 would still be up and waking up a lot at night. There wasn't much opportunity to "sleep when the baby sleeps", and I REALLY had to let go of the house being clean - moreso with #1. We had a housekeeper come some to help with that. I think it wore on our marriage more the second time because it was harder to have any time together, and we were both just so tired. With that said, the hard part doesn't last long. It gets easier quickly, and I kept having to remind myself that we went through this with DS#1 and that it gets better. Now that DS#2 is 5 months, he sleeps almost through the night (knock on wood), he likes laying on the floor looking at toys (so can play independently some), he takes baths with his big brother in a bath seat so I can bathe them at the same time, etc. And the more sleep I get, the easier it gets.

The boys love watching each other. DS1 laughs hysterically at DS2 all.the.time. DS2 just stares at DS1 in awe. DS1 loves to give DS2 hugs, etc. It's the best. Giving DS1 a brother and a full-time playmate is the best gift we could have ever given him. The hard times in the beginning are well worth it, and I wouldn't change it for the world. It won't be easy, but it will be so worth it! You'll do great!

roundtheworldgirl · July 2011

Remember that babies are different. DD1 was super-colicky, slept like absolute crap until 9 months, had horrible food allergies and eczema. She was also a mama's girl and super-clingy. She was, by all accounts, a very difficult baby. And when I found out I was pg again when she was just 4.5 months old, I cried. I was terrified for most of my pregnancy.

DD2 was way easier. From the very beginning she only woke up 1-2 times a night to eat. She was STTN at six months. She did have a colicky phase, but it was only a few weeks. And most of the difficulty I had in the beginning was really just getting used to having two kids and very little time to myself. I will admit it was rough between four and six months - that was when DD2 started being awake a bit more and it was really cold and we were cooped up inside. I cried a lot then.

But now, DD2 is 9 months old, and DD1 is 21.5 months old, and it just gets better and better every day. So much so, that we are considering TTC again in the next few months. They play together so well and they really love each other. It's so cute. I want to give them more playmates!

Kristri07 · July 2011

I agree with a lot of the other posters that it was simpler the 2nd time. You know what to expect and you aren't jumping up for every small noise. My kids are 16 months apart (21 months and 5 months) and it's amazing how they are already sorta interacting. It's gonna be fine and just think how great it will be when they are a little older and you'll be done the diaper phase!

Good luck!

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