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2nd Trimester
Hate being pregnant - second trimester is not easier for all.
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Re: Hate being pregnant - second trimester is not easier for all.
ITS A BOY!!!! Born 11/13/11 BFP #4: 10/29/12 edd 7/11/12
Listen, I get it - being pregnant is not the most fun thing in the world for everyone. There are certainly aspects of it that I find challenging. But you could not have been unaware of the sacrifices of pregnancy and motherhood (could you?). Having had a loss earlier this year, and knowing several friends who WISH they could be where I am, I suck it up, shut up, and just see pregnancy as a means to an end - my beautiful baby.
And I assume you're an attorney - I am too. You HAD to know what getting pregnant and having a kid means in this business. It doesn't mean you never get to be partner, but it's very difficult to have "it all" at the same time. Regardless, if you feel like you're being left off of quality cases or not being used to your potential, have some balls and talk to your department chair about it - don't sit here and whine about it.
*sigh* Yeah, that's precisely what I meant. Clearly, I couldn't have meant she should learn to be grateful for what she's got.
Yes, everyone is allowed to whine but this is not just whining. This is being a jerk. All of the things that you complained about OP were things you should have known you would have to give up PRE pregnancy. You should have made the decision at that point whether you could give up these things for 9 months or not. Also think about the bigger picture here which is having a beautiful child at the end. No one said pregnancy was so much fun but it isn't that dreadful either. I threw up my entire first pregnancy and here I am doing it again.
I hope once you hold that baby in your arms you think about what a brat you acted like. Thank God you are lucky enough to have babies. Instead of crying about not being able to eat cheese or drink wine.
I do believe they also make alcohol- "free" wine. I love the taste of wine and looked into it the other day. I've also found fattier cuts of meat are not so bad medium well. I used to always order my steak rare.
I understand that sometimes being pregnant is a pain- but at least your baby is healthy, you are able to enjoy the company of friends and family, and it sounds like you have a stable job. So many people don't have those things.
I'm sorry that you're having a difficult time adjusting! Have you felt movement yet? You're not very far along if you still have 5.5 months--maybe that will make you feel better?
Not every aspect of pregnancy is magical (I had an incredibly rough first trimester and was almost put on bed rest!), but there are some really great things about it, too.
I understand how it can be a bummer to sacrifice some of the things that you really loved, but maybe you can try to summon some excitement--start your registry. . .find your "fruit" at the grocery store and hold it next to your belly to see how big baby is getting. . .shop for baby clothes. . .schedule a 4D sonogram and look at the neat little features of your baby's face. . . try to have a little fun with your pregnancy!
Good luck with everything!
Again, ungrateful b!tch. She can't see past her own nose and thinks that pregnancy is supposed to be easy. Oh no, she has to give up some things. So effin what?
The OP makes me mad. Forget even the fact that others aren't as fortunate. SHE DOESN'T HAVE IT SO BAD.
Army Girl, been in since Feb 2003 married to an Army Man, in since 1990.
Not loving pregnancy is okay, but the way you present it makes you sound whiney. I'm one of those women who's had it pretty easy so far--mild sickness, pretty intense heartburn, and some middle back pain are really the only issues I've been suffering. However, I found this website right after my BFP, and I've come to know women on here who have had hard pregnancies, losses, and very scary incidents even 20-something weeks into their pregnancy. It's not easy to be pregnant for everyone, and many women have it much harder than you or I can fathom. This is a place to garner support, however, keep in mind that when you are mourning riding a roller coaster, there are many women here who are mourning the loss of children.
Also, if you want a medium rare steak, eat it. Just not everyday and make sure it's from a reputable place. I think the toxic attitude you are displaying is more harmful to your child than eating a medium rare steak every couple weeks.
I don't know, ladies, but I think some of you are being really harsh. I kind of see humor and irony in this post and think it holds true for a lot of us... maybe we just aren't willing to express it the way she is... Kudos!
Not EVERYONE has to love being pregnant. It's a HUGE life altering adjustment, even for those that have worked really hard to conceive.
We're given restrictions and guidelines and some people treat us more like we're disabled than actually pregnant.
I went to Napa when I was pregnant with my 1st and while my friends were wine tasting and eating rare steaks, I cried a little... Sure, most of us chose to be pregnant, however, that does not mean pregnancy is not emotional, and a little farewell to who we used to be.
I love my son with all of my heart. He's the light of my life & I realize that NOW... With that being said, it doesn't make this pregnancy any easier in the sense that you do lose a little bit of yourself and your freedom.
From time to time, I miss my rare steaks, red wine and amusement park rides too!
Wow. THAT'S what you have to complain about? Drinking milk and not being able to eat raw meat and soft cheese? You sound like an extremely selfish, immature, spoiled little brat.
I invite you to visit the high risk pregnancy board and the IF boards. Want to talk about pregnancy being hard? Right now I'm on bedrest because of issues with my cervix. DH and I tried for 4 long years to have this baby and now I'm on bedrest until probably November to ensure my baby is born full term and healthy. Do you want to know about the stress we go through? The panic of wondering if everything will be all right? The worries of me being out of work with no short term disability?
My suggestion is stop being ungrateful. Be glad that your have it A LOT EASIER than a lot of women on this site.
And grow up!
I'm just curious...you said what I put in bold above. You clearly caused quite a reaction. I just think maybe if you explain yourself a little more, you may get more "understanding," so to speak. Are you super sick, on bed rest, struggling with migraines? What is the "horrible" part?
I have to point out that she did say "glorious pregnancies with no pain." I'm assuming she feels pain, and just didn't explain herself well. She could just be having a bad day.
The only 100% way to avoid pregnancy is abstinence or surgery on the reproductive, and if she is married I hardly expect anyone to remain abstinent. My pregnancy was unplanned. We were using condoms, and one broke - we just hadn't realized at the time. I'm pro-choice, but I would never get an abortion myself. So perhaps she feels the same way.
One of my coworkers told my boyfriend the other day, "Man, you got the only good insider moody and bloated." My manager will not let me do things that I am perfectly capable of doing pregnant. Sometimes people will seem perfectly fine with pregnant people, and then once one is pregnant completely change their tunes.
People have bad days. It's perfectly alright. She might be a perfectly wonderful and thankful person in life, but you don't know her, do you? You're judging her off one complaint, and it could very well be that she has not told anyone else how she's feeling. She could be suffering antenatal depression and that's why everything has her so down.
You don't know the whole situation. Yes, the one complaint about the things she's had to give up is a little whiny, but I know it was very hard for me to adjust to being pregnant and for many people it really is. Some of you probably know that as well. It's only four months into her pregnancy - right? I saw a PP say that. Could very well be that she hasn't had an ultrasound yet to see the LO, could be that she hasn't felt the LO move. When she does, it might make this complaint seem ridiculous even to her.
All of you posting negatively... give her a break. Pregnancy does suck, no matter how you look at it. She's entitled to feel that way. I've already gained 30lbs and I was 125lbs pre-pregnancy. My boobs are huge, I was a 34D, now I have no idea how big they are, I couldn't even fit into a 36E. My hips have spread, I'm an emotional wreck, I'm mean to people, and just completely exhausted ALL the time... So I totally understand what she means. Of course I'm excited for my little boy to get here and this is our first, so I'm extra excited... but pregnancy is not fun...it's just not. Especially when you have a full time job, which it sounds like she has. I sometimes wish a stork really brought the baby to you, or you only had to be preggers for 6 months.
It is what it is
Her 4th and probably last after all this.
Am I the only one who thinks this is MUD? If not then I am sorry you are feeling the way you do and I hope you continue to have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby to show for it.
Yes, you do come off as a bit of a complainer,BUT I applaud your honesty. So many people live under the assumptions of how you and everyone else "should" feel. If you don't love pregnancy, fine. You're allowed to feel that way. My hope is that you won't feel this way your LO arrives, but in the meantime remember "this too shall pass".
Good Luck!
I also agree that suggesting she head over to the mc/pg loss board or IF board is awful, even if your intention was to show her she should be grateful for what she has. Those boards are not there as a show to remind people to be grateful, which is why pp made the zoo comment.
And as for OP - MUD much?
Wow...really???
You can't embrace even one detail about your pregnancy?
I'll sit on a stump with a smile for 9 months straight if I get to hold my child.
I'm sorry, I'm still shaking my head at this post.
All the awful things you must endure so this child can have a life that you gave to it...oh dear!
I seriously hope the child doesn't grow with self-resentment issues, because it's been known to start in the womb for unwanted pregnancies. And hopefully she doesn't show any resentment when the baby is born...
The original poster needs to suck it up. Not everything about pregnancy is pretty, but her complaints are kind of petty IMHO.
I miss my red wine, and raw fish too-- but I definitely can last 9 months without it. I am so very thankful that my pregnancy has been uneventful, & no complications (knock on wood!).
If your worst complaint is that you can't have your rare steak & red wine please consider yourself lucky because there are those who are always wondering if they are even going to be able to bring their baby home at all.
Yes, the deprivation, physical symptoms & mood swings stink sometimes-- but really, consider your audience (who might be reading) when you make petty complaints.
I've been seriously sick most of the pregnancy and finally started not feeling miserable at around 24 weeks. I was in the same boat - why the heck would anyone choose to be pregnant after going through it once? Mine was all about feeling sick, not the reasons you listed.
If being treated differently and "missing out" on stuff is bothering you that much, you need to take a couple deep breaths and move along. People won't change. I work with all women and they won't even let me bend over to get a styrofoam plate out of a low cabinet. It's annoying, yes, but you aren't pregnant for that long and you'll get a break from them for awhile after the baby comes.
I honestly apologize, that wasn't my intention.
But anyway, yeah, I think I decided this was MUD.
Seriously, if you think you have it hard now, wait till the baby gets here. You are gunna think life is not worth living with all you have to give up if you are whining over wine and cheese and rides now.
You need to grow up and be grateful for your pregnancy. Lots of women would kill to be in your place and you are acting like a 4 year old.
While I agree that this original thread poster did not get what she wanted which was at least one of us to understand what she was trying to say.....While I am not defending her position of SOUNDING selfish - which unfortunately it did come out - but she is in her own bubble of a crisis in her life.
I must admit that I too am not enjoying pregnancy at all!!!!! I hate not being in control of my body - gaining weight, not being able to see my feet past my own boobs, headaches, random pain in odd places and not to mention the endless things that I cannot do, eat, drink or take to assist with the things that hurt.
Being that many women are told that they MUST behave as china dolls that can be broken if the wind blows - it is very hard for tom boys and wildly adventurous women to accept and move into a life where actions are restricted for the next 9 months.
While I will be thrilled once this little man is out of my belly and we can see him, hold him, eat his toes etc...... I can identify with the loss of identity thing that she is going through as well. Many FTMs are not prepared since they are not informed at all of the true changes you have to go through while prego. One day you are reading books written by women who are in love with being pregnant, dreaming of the joys of pregnancy and envisioning yourself adorable svelt and pregnant with only a little ball on your belly and then the truth - they dont tell you the bad parts - then you are there - pregnant yourself - nauseous, crappy taste in your mouth, feeling like you have swamp butt 24/7, headaches, sore, out of breath, hungry all the time and feeling like you are merely the mothership and you have been hijacked by a mini-Stewie that will hit a button to make you sneeze and pee your pants all while laughing an evil laugh.
All your cute clothes dont fit for crap since your butt has turned into something that reminds you of a life raft and the maternity clothes are just simply horrific to wear. Especially since - some - like myself know - that this is the only time I will be having a baby - and refuse to spend $210 on a pair of jeans or shirt. Meaning that you are left with cheap material clothing items that are reminiscent of a circus tent with holes cut out for your head and arms. IMHO
Your wedding rings sit on a bedside table staring at you for months since your fingers and hands are swollen like clown gloves and your feet remind you of snausages and all the while all you may want is a romantic night of passionate s3x with the SO after a nice glass or bottle of wine, a long walk on a beach and a fabulous seafood feast that would make any cat yowl in jealousy.
I know that this is not a popular opinion or feeling - as I can see by the numerous women railing this post but not all of us are enjoying the experience at all and we are all having our own issues - whether it be body issues - mental adaptation or emotional trauma being increasingly problematic due to the SO not being supportive (being told wow your a$$ is getting bigger - NOT COOL).
The truth is the end is the real prize - the LO we wanted so badly. We tried for years to get this baby under way and failed over and over again until now both by missing dates and times and then the awful emotional pain of accepting possible infertility or miscarriages.
But to be brutally honest I just thank god we arent pregnant for 3 years.
But for the love of everything holy we do not all love being prego. I can list the cons and there is only one pro - the LO that comes 9 months later. The grotesque things our bodies are capable of during a pregnancy are simply harsh and relatively disgusting - I mean really mucus plugs???? That does not sound beautiful to me.
And dont get me wrong I am so happy for all of you women out there that love being pregnant - MORE WOMAN POWER TO YOU!!!! But in my opinion it is not a fun time in my life.
wow you guys can be harsh! lol. your fine. its ok to be upset and even resentful thats normal. it it gets to the point where you want to hurt yourself or baby, obviously your smart enough to get help.
but i am a social worker and i work with pregnancies and moms. iv done a lot of research and we have videos we show pregnant families that its normal to even wonder y you did this, even if it was planned. we planned our baby, it happend our first cycle so we were stiull surprised. thinking it would take us at least the average 3 months. and there are times im like wtf did i get myself into? people do treat you differently. and i kind like it. i wish my husband was MORE like telling me to take it easy.
my hubby went out the other night, and its not that i wanted to , but i cried cus i was left home alone and i was pissed off. he didnt go to a abr or anything just dinner with his work buddies (dad, brother, best friend) which drinking was involved.
but when i feel this way, i think to myself, its going to be worth it. it has to be. we dont haev a choice anymore. no going back now. we have to be ok.
I hate being pregnant too and I am on my 3rd (and last) baby
I have hated pregnancy each time. You know what, you are allowed to feel that way. It is okay. Everyone reacts differently to pregnancy. Thank god we are different - could you imagine if we were all the same? How boring would that be? It isn't so much that you forget how much you hate it, it is more about how amazing it is to have kids. Don't get me wrong, it is not rainbows and puppy dog tails all the time....far from it. However, the good times so out weigh the bad times.
I eat soft cheeses and totally miss my red wine