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October 2011 Moms
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Who is planning your shower?

skits_1skits_1
in October 2011 Moms
A few friends of mine offered to throw me a baby shower. I thought that was really generous and said ok. A few months later my mom says she wants to plan a shower for me in my home town. I said ok but my friends are also planning one. Then she goes on asking why my friends decided to offer to throw one and why wasn't she asked. I'm not sure it's tradition for the mom to host the shower? Either way makes no difference if I have more than one, but I hate when my mom gets all butthurt about etiquette and stuff. No one was excluding her in any way. Is she right? Does she get first dibs? Also she is complaining that if her shower is after my friends there wont be anything left on the registry to buy. What can I say?
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Re: Who is planning your shower?

  • LauriJean_2009LauriJean_2009

    My mom and MIL are planning mine.  I have a few friends who I suspect may plan something separate just because it's the way they are.

    I don't think anyone has dibs since anyone can throw you a shower if they want.  The way I see it, your friends can have their event and your mom's shower can be more for family.  I'm sure there is plenty on your registry for everyone to buy. 

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  • Elsa1984Elsa1984 member

    My friend I have known my whole life and my mom are going to be throwing mine. 

    Its whoever wants to throw one.....nobody gets dibs. 

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  • BulldogMommaBulldogMomma
    My mom is throwing me mine.
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  • LauriJean_2009LauriJean_2009

    If you don't want to butthurt your mama on this (LOL)  Tell her that traditionally, showers should be thrown by someone OUTSIDE of the family:

    https://www.babycenter.com/0_baby-shower-planning-and-etiquette_1642.bc#articlesection1

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  • PitaBreadPitaBread
    Yea family members should not throw showers because it looks gift grabby. My friends offered but I declined cause I feel weird having people buy things we should be buying ourselves.
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  • jlove 253jlove 253 member

    imagePitaBread:
    Yea family members should not throw showers because it looks gift grabby.

    Well put. And other posters have said the same: Traditionally the immediate family doesn't throw showers. 

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  • ashleighlynn0812ashleighlynn0812
    I think that the tradition has changed slightly. My mom and my 13 year old sister are planning my shower. While they are immediate family, my mom is my best friend (and I'd want my best friend to throw it for me), and my sister is so young that she is exstatic about planning a shower. I did consider it to be bad that they were planning it at first, but I'm thankful that they are taking charge.

    If not, I have a few close friends... but none that I feel would actually follow through with planning a shower. Plus, this shower is going to be more personal for me with my mom and sister planning it... if it was a friend/sorority sister, it'd end up being a social event for everyone else. Not my idea of an intimate shower.
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  • moviesprincessmoviesprincess

    One shower my two good friends where I live are hosting.

    Back home, my aunt is hosting. 

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  • StephRunsStephRuns
    My aunt and my best friend are throwing me one here, and then my husband's friends from his hometown are throwing us a couple's shower there.
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  • cantalopes24cantalopes24 member
    My friends are all on the younger side and don't have the funds to throw the type of shower my mom wants her friends attending lol. For my bridal showers they planned and hosted it (sent out the invites, did the RSVP's, organized everything the day of) and my mom paid. I'm assuming that will be the case for my baby shower.
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  • LauraLPLauraLP
    My brother's GF and my mom have decided to throw mine.
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  • xhollishxxhollishx member
    My mom and best friend are throwing one. The other is my two aunts. They're going to be a month apart. One in Aug and the other in Sept.
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  • k2westk2west member
    My mom and sister are planning our co-ed shower. My MIL talked about having one too, but I'll believe that when I see it. Wink
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  • mars37810mars37810 member
    I think it only looks gift grabby if you are planning your own baby shower not another family member.  My older sister is supposed to be planning mine.  My mom told her that she was to do it when I told my whole family that I was pregnant.  I don't really have any close friends that would throw me one anyways and my mom knows this.  As far as other family, my aunt isn't really on talking terms with my mom right now and my oldest cousin is 16 and I don't really have much of a relationship with my dad and his family.   
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  • ecartstanecartstan
    My girlfriend is planning it with my mom and aunt.  Neither of them had time to plan it totally, but each one can contribute towards the planning.
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  • mdsjchmdsjch
    In NY, my MIL and her sister.  In MD, my mom and sister.  My mom did not throw me a bridal shower, friends and aunts did due to tradition as she was paying for the wedding.  But for the baby, she feels comfortable throwing it, as it is not her baby (though she thinks it is, LOL.)
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  • iverske9iverske9 member
    My Mom and sisters are throwing it. I helped a little with lists, etc but think some work people will throw another one.
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  • joydwilliamsjoydwilliams member
    It looks gift grabby if you plan your own shower or if your on number two and you throw one. I dont think there should be a tradition on this. If someone who loves you wants to throw you a shower be gracious because some people dont get to have one at all. My mom is throwing me and my dh a couple shower. Im happy its her because she knows me best and it will be done with love. Plus i am the baby and her only daughter and the last one to have kids so i knew she wouldnt have it any other way.
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  • itsmeginitsmegin

    MIL, SIL, sister and DH's boss are all hosting one together. My mom's friends are hosting another. 

    I think it's actually considered poor etiquette for your own mom to host the shower. 

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  • rescueddogmomrescueddogmom member
    Quite a few people have offered to throw me a shower, so I'm not sure exactly how it will work out.  Two of my mom's friends, two aunts (from different sides of my family), and my sister.  DH's mom and aunt also talked to him about it, but his family is so small compared to my huge one, it would make more sense for them to just come to one of my other ones.  I hope my sister doesn't throw me one because she just had a baby and has three other kids and has plenty to do!  But it was nice of her to offer.
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