Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
stever
member
Re: re: vanverth's post
I don't know... I had a feeling that I'd only have a son (as I pretty much always knew I'd only have one) so WANTING a specific sex never really crossed my mind.
But if things were different in my life, I'd want a girl for a 2nd. I wouldn't want another boy (but would love one).
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
To read my blog, click on the giraffe pic below!
That said the idea of a girl teenager scares the bejeezus out of me.
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Boys will break your stuff....girls will steal your clothes?
But seriously, I've always wanted a boy. And I'd be totally happy if a possible #2 were a boy too. Even though I've always been a girly girl, I feel like I relate better to the laid back attitude and interests of boys.
I'm happy with our multi-girl setup. We even have girl cats. I do admit the the thought of the teen years fills me with terror!
If we manage to have a third, I kind of hope we get a boy, just for the change.
I always wanted a girl because I felt like I knew what to do with one. My mom is an only child and so am I, so my boy exposure was limited. We called Miller Lorelei until our amnio confirmed that he was a boy. DH was in complete shock when the tech showed him the boy parts. I was crazy excited about it! We went to BRU afterward to change our registry from neutrals to more boy-specific things, and I was running around with a silly grin on my face yelling, "It's a boy!" DH remained in shock for awhile.
I can only explain my crazy excitement as my love for a challenge! And I wouldn't trade him for anything now.
Similar to Robyn - I had a dream, a very, very VIVID dream, years ago where I had 2 boys. It was so vivid, I woke up saying "I'm only going to have boys".
So, I never really entertained the idea of having a girl.
And now that we're one and done - thats even more cemented now.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
" the idea of a girl teenager scares the bejeezus out of me"
As it should! LOL
A mother-daughter relationship is a very complex one.
Big - 1 year old
Bigger - 6 years old
Biggest - 13 years old
I wanted a boy first....I have 2 older brothers and LOVE it. If I have a girl I wanted her to have an older brother. I knew the chances of having a girl is slim in my family. My parents have 12 grandchildren and only 3 are girls.
My friend also made a funny statement about being a mother of boys "At least with a boy you only have to worry about one pee-pee with girls you have to worry about many" :-P
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
I was always good either way. But we were really hoping for a boy with S, but not upset at all she wasn't (nor were we having her just to try for a boy either). I'm just freaked by teenagers in general, they're horrible! L went from a happy sunny kid to a surly growly moody teen in less than a month.
And if anyone thinks girls aren't destructive, they haven't had K near them. Her girly girl appearance is an act to fool the weak hearted. DH and I decided she's either going to be a stunt woman or a demolitions expert. She's tough. She was playing tag with a group of kids and she took down a 13 year old, and he was crying uncle (L's friend was warned...he too was fooled).
I didn't have a preference when I was pregnant with LO, but I was floored that I was having a girl. I was just so sure that it was a boy!!
After it sunk in, I was pretty worried about it. I have had some rough patches in my relationship with my mom and have only a brother, so I didn't have any good examples of relationships between women in my family. And the teenage years with a girl are rough.
After having had people actually ask me if DH was disappointed it was a girl or reading about how girls aren't valued in some cultures, it broke my heart. I got really protective and just wanted to do the best I could for her.
Now I love having a daughter and hope for another -- it would be great for her to have a sister to bond with. Friends of mine that have sisters really have something special.
Also, as my aunt pointed out, girls/women keep the traditions going in families. May not always be true, but my mom, aunts, and girl cousins have always baked my great-grandmother's cookie recipe together at Christmas time. DD joined us for the first time last year and I got teary seeing my mom help her to decorate the cookies...
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I heard about that study and wasn't surprised at the results. Although, I was very happy to have a little girl. I admit, I have a slight preference for the next one to be a girl too, but I think more because I'm not around boys...and seeing how loud and rough (4-9 years old) my neighbors boys can get scares me.