Woah - re. the UO below. Want to clear that up...

Ess-elle · June 2011

Apparently I opened a can of worms and offended a bunch of you ladies. That was SO not my intention and I think my comment regarding babies conceived with the help of IF treatment being more loved, cared for, and appreciated was HUGELY misunderstood.

I'm not saying there's a hierarchy of love, ie. that I'll love my child more than you'll love yours because I required treatment, or that someone who went through IVF will love her child more than I love mine, since my interventions were drug-based and not especially invasive. That's ridiculous.

What I'm saying is that had I conceived naturally in the first month or two we'd been trying, I would not appreciate what I've been given nearly as much as I do now. I'd likely be grumbling about weight gain, or nerve pain, or not being able to have a margarita as I sit by the pool on my vacation this week. However, after going through a long struggle and having doubts about whether or not I'd EVER be able to have children, I realize what an amazing gift this truly is. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'll take whatever side effects and unpleasantries this kid wants to throw at me. He's worth it. No questions asked.

To the moms that were defensive, stating they love their (naturally conceived) children more than anything - I TOTALLY get that and I think that's the case for the vast majority of parents. I really do. But honestly, do you not think you would appreciate that gift a little more if you were, at one point, told you would likely never have a child of your own?

About six months prior to conceiving, I was told that I was "likely in early ovarian failure," "had no eggs left," and "would never be able to have a child." Obviously, that wasn't the case... but how fortunate I am to carry this little guy now.

It's not that I see this as an "US vs. THEM" situation. This is "Me THEN vs. Me NOW."

I know it's true for me, and I believe it's probably true for a lot of women who have gone through the struggle of IF.

My apologies if you got the impression that I meant moms who conceive naturally or easily don't love their kids as much as those of us who have to "work for it." That wasn't what I meant AT ALL.

HappyAardvark · June 2011

This is exactly what you said:

Ess-elle:
This is something I've always sworn I would never say openly, but given today's discussion regarding infertility, here goes.
I went through a struggle to get pregnant. It was a long time coming and required medical intervention.
My UO: I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned. How could they not be?
There are no accidents when you go through IF treatment; every child conceived with the help of medical technology is wanted and desired more than you'll ever know. That's a hell of a lot more than can be said for "natural" pregnancies, especially when something like 50% of them are accidental.

If I could insert a PIP of someone riding backwards on a bicycle, I would.

ludicrous · June 2011

I didn't read your original UO but this sounds completely douchy. Everyone has different circumstances, don't assume you know how people feel based on whether they went through the exact same thing you did or not. Redemption FAIL, IMO.

ludicrous · June 2011

HappyAardvark:
This is exactly what you said:
Ess-elle:
This is something I've always sworn I would never say openly, but given today's discussion regarding infertility, here goes.
I went through a struggle to get pregnant. It was a long time coming and required medical intervention.
My UO: I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned. How could they not be?
There are no accidents when you go through IF treatment; every child conceived with the help of medical technology is wanted and desired more than you'll ever know. That's a hell of a lot more than can be said for "natural" pregnancies, especially when something like 50% of them are accidental.

If I could insert a PIP of someone riding backwards on a bicycle, I would.

Word.

jonnygurl76 · June 2011

i don't mean to start MORE drama but this is what you wrote:

My UO: I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned. How could they not be?

that comment pretty much comes across to mean exactly what you stated. and i didn't comment back in the UO thread, but i did shake my head and i chalked it up to ignorance.

CA2006 · June 2011

I haven't been involved in much of the UO drama, but I will say that I don't think that it's necessarily true that just b/c you went through IF, you will appreciate your pregnancy/child more than someone who didn't. I think every woman, every pregnancy and every child is different. I know people who tried for 5 years and are finally pregnant through IVF, but still complaining about the aches and pains of pregnancy. Let's face it, it isn't always an easy or fun road and no matter how long you tried, you have the right to complain or vent about discomfort.

I also dealt with a colicky, refluxy newborn and yes, even though I tired for 12 months (not a long time, but longer than a lot of people), I still had times when I was at my wit's end and complained bitterly about it. But I still love DS and appreciate him immenseley and adore the little man he has become.

I think that when it's more difficult for you to conceive, you can definitely appreciate the struggle so much more than someone who accidentally got pregnant or got pregnant on the first try. But I don't think that has anything to do with how good of a mother you will be or how much you will appreciate your pregnancy or motherhood. Just as IF isn't anyone's fault, it isn't someone's fault that they get pregnant right away either. That's just the way life is. You are in control of what kind of a mother you are and how much you appreciate your child/situation, regardless of what it took to get there.

jonnygurl76 · June 2011

HappyAardvark:

This is exactly what you said:

Ess-elle:

This is something I've always sworn I would never say openly, but given today's discussion regarding infertility, here goes.

I went through a struggle to get pregnant. It was a long time coming and required medical intervention.

My UO: I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned. How could they not be?

There are no accidents when you go through IF treatment; every child conceived with the help of medical technology is wanted and desired more than you'll ever know. That's a hell of a lot more than can be said for "natural" pregnancies, especially when something like 50% of them are accidental.

If I could insert a PIP of someone riding backwards on a bicycle, I would.

yes.....like this:

welcometowonderland · June 2011

I did manage to concieve my children naturally, however before this last baby, I was told I would never have any more children. I went through 4 m/c's and an ectopic with ruptured tube. I almost died. The thought of never being able to have children, something women's bodies are supposed to do, was devestating. I felt like less of woman. Yes, I get that I am blessed in every sense of the word for the children I have. I get that there are woman completely infertile due to whatever circumstance, but I don't agree with what you said.

And for the record, I was able to conceive naturally after 2 years of heartache and trying and I still *** and complain.

Ess-elle · June 2011

At no point did I refer to other people and their pregnancies.

A child conceived naturally would have been an amazing blessing to me. However, that didn't happen. And I appreciate every little thing that has come with this pregnancy WAY more than I would have otherwise.

You seriously think I believe that parents who went through an intervention love their kids more? That's ridiculous. By that logic, Nadia Suleman's kids would be the most loved offspring in the world, and that woman CLEARLY doesn't have her kids' best interest anywhere on her radar.

I liken it to paying for post-secondary education: I think I value my education more because I had to pay for (part of) it. Had it been handed to me on a silver platter, I'd probably have been more inclined to piss it away and waste my time.

ludicrous · June 2011

Seriously, just stop. You are not making what you said better. Now you are just moving on to insult a whole new group of people.

HappyAardvark · June 2011

Hey, I'm just reading your original post. See above to refresh your own memory.

If what you're saying above is true, then you should have said that YOU will appreciate YOUR child more than if you had gotten lucky in a one-shot wonder drunken sex fest your first month TTC with your SO.

Ess-elle · June 2011

If others are offended because of the way I view myself in various situations, that's their issue. Not mine.

I appreciate things more when they're harder to come by. To me, $10 found on the street as a kid was never as valuable as $10 earned shovelling driveways in the winter. How that impacts YOU is beyond me.

Ess-elle · June 2011

HappyAardvark:
If what you're saying above is true, then you should have said that YOU will appreciate YOUR child more than if you had gotten lucky in a one-shot wonder drunken sex fest your first month TTC with your SO.

Well, yeah - that sums it up nicely.

WaitingOnTwoPinkLines · June 2011

Ess-elle:
At no point did I refer to other people and their pregnancies.
A child conceived naturally would have been an amazing blessing to me. However, that didn't happen. And I appreciate every little thing that has come with this pregnancy WAY more than I would have otherwise.
You seriously think I believe that parents who went through an intervention love their kids more? That's ridiculous. By that logic, Nadia Suleman's kids would be the most loved offspring in the world, and that woman CLEARLY doesn't have her kids' best interest anywhere on her radar.
I liken it to paying for post-secondary education: I think I value my education more because I had to pay for (part of) it. Had it been handed to me on a silver platter, I'd probably have been more inclined to piss it away and waste my time.

Not only are you backpedalling, you suck at it.

You're also an ignorant twat.

ludicrous · June 2011

Ess-elle:
If others are offended because of the way I view myself in various situations, that's their issue. Not mine.
I appreciate things more when they're harder to come by. To me, $10 found on the street as a kid was never as valuable as $10 earned shovelling driveways in the winter. How that impacts YOU is beyond me.

You are the one that sounds like an ignorant twatwaffle. I am not offended by your stupidity. Clearly you don't listen either.

rkto · June 2011

I dont think people that pay for their own education appreciate it more than those who had to slave to get it. Every person is different. I know kids that paid their own way that wasted their education and those with a silver platter that worked harder than hard.

I am going to try to help you. For you - you thnk that you appreciate this baby and pregnancy more due to the hard road you took to get there. You dont know that WE would appreciate our baby more if we took a harder road. But truly, unless you can do a Sliding Doors (movie with Gwyneth Paltrow)there is no way of knowing if you would appreciate or love your baby more depending on the way they were conceived.

and For the record - the word is WHOA.

shellybell15 · June 2011

WaitingOnTwoPinkLines:
Ess-elle:

At no point did I refer to other people and their pregnancies.

A child conceived naturally would have been an amazing blessing to me. However, that didn't happen. And I appreciate every little thing that has come with this pregnancy WAY more than I would have otherwise.

You seriously think I believe that parents who went through an intervention love their kids more? That's ridiculous. By that logic, Nadia Suleman's kids would be the most loved offspring in the world, and that woman CLEARLY doesn't have her kids' best interest anywhere on her radar.

I liken it to paying for post-secondary education: I think I value my education more because I had to pay for (part of) it. Had it been handed to me on a silver platter, I'd probably have been more inclined to piss it away and waste my time.

Not only are you backpedalling, you suck at it.

You're also an ignorant twat.

Yes, that and analogies. Comparing how you conceive a child to how you paid for college your made a buck as a child....seriously?

kalajaye17 · June 2011

I didnt read the UO thread yet but I can't believe someone would feel like this..definately not say it out loud.

I was not trying to get pregnant but I promise you I love my boy more than anything..he has become my whole world. I love him as much as anyone who had to have help i'm sure.

Are you saying that if you accidently get pregnant after this baby you will love the first baby more because you had to have help.

That's Ignorant.

blue_angeleyes06 · June 2011

Wow! Everyone needs to calm down. I can understand why people are upset, but every woman is going to appreciate and love her child for different reasons. Whether you conceive naturally or with help, you are going to love your child no matter what. I know that this was probably not said tactfully, but who cares what someone else thinks. I know I'm going to love my daughter no matter what anyone else thinks or says about it.

WaitingOnTwoPinkLines · June 2011

Ess-elle:
At no point did I refer to other people and their pregnancies.

Actually,

Ess-elle:This is something I've always sworn I would never say openly, but given today's discussion regarding infertility, here goes. I went through a struggle to get pregnant. It was a long time coming and required medical intervention. My UO: I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned. How could they not be?

There are no accidents when you go through IF treatment; every child conceived with the help of medical technology is wanted and desired more than you'll ever know. That's a hell of a lot more than can be said for "natural" pregnancies, especially when something like 50% of them are accidental.

No where in the bolded statements (except "I honestly think") do you refer to YOU feeling this way about YOUR pregnancy/baby. You use the generic, broad term "their" along with "those" & "they" - implying many, or not only yourself at the very least.

Seriously, just stop.

ludicrous · June 2011

Ess-elle:
At no point did I refer to other people and their pregnancies.
A child conceived naturally would have been an amazing blessing to me. However, that didn't happen. And I appreciate every little thing that has come with this pregnancy WAY more than I would have otherwise.
You seriously think I believe that parents who went through an intervention love their kids more? That's ridiculous. By that logic, Nadia Suleman's kids would be the most loved offspring in the world, and that woman CLEARLY doesn't have her kids' best interest anywhere on her radar.
I liken it to paying for post-secondary education: I think I value my education more because I had to pay for (part of) it. Had it been handed to me on a silver platter, I'd probably have been more inclined to piss it away and waste my time.

I wouldn't wish fertility issues on anyone, nor do I wish them on you but if you honestly feel like you aren't capable of loving and appreciating things that weren't difficult to accomplish then perhaps it is best things worked out the way they did.

SharonWantsABaby · June 2011

Ess-elle:
I liken it to paying for post-secondary education: I think I value my education more because I had to pay for (part of) it. Had it been handed to me on a silver platter, I'd probably have been more inclined to piss it away and waste my time.

I was willing to hear you out, but this?....complete horseshit.

What you say about education makes perfect sense, but we are not talking about education. We are talking about a living, breathing child of our own flesh and blood.

I got pregnant (intentionally, both times) on my first try. TWICE! And I don't take that for granted.

But nobody...nobody is going to tell me that they love, value, appreciate, whatever word you want to use, their child more than I _____ mine. Period.

Honestly, OP, I think you will think about this later and realize how wrong you are and how offensive this concept is.

SharonWantsABaby · June 2011

Ess-elle:
HappyAardvark:
If what you're saying above is true, then you should have said that YOU will appreciate YOUR child more than if you had gotten lucky in a one-shot wonder drunken sex fest your first month TTC with your SO.
Well, yeah - that sums it up nicely.

Okay, now it's just funny. OP, you could not be more wrong. This is insane.

Oh, and tell you what - why don't you come back and tell us how you feel once that baby is born and someone - anyone, for any reason - tells you that they love/value/appreciate/care for their child more than you do yours.

Let us know how you feel about that, 'kay?

Liz4444 · June 2011

Ess-elle:

At no point did I refer to other people and their pregnancies.

A child conceived naturally would have been an amazing blessing to me. However, that didn't happen. And I appreciate every little thing that has come with this pregnancy WAY more than I would have otherwise.

You seriously think I believe that parents who went through an intervention love their kids more? That's ridiculous. By that logic, Nadia Suleman's kids would be the most loved offspring in the world, and that woman CLEARLY doesn't have her kids' best interest anywhere on her radar.

I liken it to paying for post-secondary education: I think I value my education more because I had to pay for (part of) it. Had it been handed to me on a silver platter, I'd probably have been more inclined to piss it away and waste my time.

Wow, now I've been offended twice...and I really don't offend easily. You absolutely referred to other people and their natural pregnancies, it has been quoted a few times in this thread, as well as in the UO thread, go back and read what you wrote.

And yes, my parents paid for my college education, what makes you think I don't value my education? My parents wanted me to be able to focus 100% on my education, they told me that was my job. Just because I wasn't writing the checks or didn't struggle to pay for it doesn't mean I was wasting my time.

RoxanneA · June 2011

CA2006:
I haven't been involved in much of the UO drama, but I will say that I don't think that it's necessarily true that just b/c you went through IF, you will appreciate your pregnancy/child more than someone who didn't. I think every woman, every pregnancy and every child is different. I know people who tried for 5 years and are finally pregnant through IVF, but still complaining about the aches and pains of pregnancy. Let's face it, it isn't always an easy or fun road and no matter how long you tried, you have the right to complain or vent about discomfort.

I also dealt with a colicky, refluxy newborn and yes, even though I tired for 12 months (not a long time, but longer than a lot of people), I still had times when I was at my wit's end and complained bitterly about it. But I still love DS and appreciate him immenseley and adore the little man he has become.

I think that when it's more difficult for you to conceive, you can definitely appreciate the struggle so much more than someone who accidentally got pregnant or got pregnant on the first try. But I don't think that has anything to do with how good of a mother you will be or how much you will appreciate your pregnancy or motherhood. Just as IF isn't anyone's fault, it isn't someone's fault that they get pregnant right away either. That's just the way life is. You are in control of what kind of a mother you are and how much you appreciate your child/situation, regardless of what it took to get there.

Well said, I couldn't of said it better myself! And to add something, that was a very douchy thing to say. I conceived DD#1 and this one naturally and I love my children just as much as someone who needed intervention to conceive.

sewpinkgal · June 2011

Liz4444:

Wow, now I've been offended twice...and I really don't offend easily. You absolutely referred to other people and their natural pregnancies, it has been quoted a few times in this thread, as well as in the UO thread, go back and read what you wrote.

You and me both.

OP, you're just digging the hole deeper and deeper with the latest comments. As someone else said, redemption fail.

weddingbells2010 · June 2011

Whewwwwwwww okay, TAG, I'm in!

I didn't respond to the other post, and I didn't even intend to respond at first to this one, but the more I read.... man. I just have to take the bait, I guess.

OP, I honestly wanted to believe you meant that YOU appreciated your pregnancy and would love and care for YOUR CHILD more because of having tried so hard to get pregnant, even though it didn't read that way, but the more you respond, the more clear it becomes that you did, in fact, mean exactly what you said- ALL WOMEN who try hard, love more. Those of us that didn't try so hard don't value it as much.

You make such broad generalizations that I feel BAD for your LO- those biases will probably be imparted onto him/her and they, too, will grow up making broad, sweeping statements about groups of people with little knowledge or experience.

lizzonyc · June 2011

Ess-elle:

What I'm saying is that had I conceived naturally in the first month or two we'd been trying, I would not appreciate what I've been given nearly as much as I do now. I'd likely be grumbling about weight gain, or nerve pain, or not being able to have a margarita as I sit by the pool on my vacation this week. However, after going through a long struggle and having doubts about whether or not I'd EVER be able to have children, I realize what an amazing gift this truly is. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I'll take whatever side effects and unpleasantries this kid wants to throw at me. He's worth it. No questions asked.

To the moms that were defensive, stating they love their (naturally conceived) children more than anything - I TOTALLY get that and I think that's the case for the vast majority of parents. I really do. But honestly, do you not think you would appreciate that gift a little more if you were, at one point, told you would likely never have a child of your own?

About six months prior to conceiving, I was told that I was "likely in early ovarian failure," "had no eggs left," and "would never be able to have a child." Obviously, that wasn't the case... but how fortunate I am to carry this little guy now.

It's not that I see this as an "US vs. THEM" situation. This is "Me THEN vs. Me NOW."

I know it's true for me, and I believe it's probably true for a lot of women who have gone through the struggle of IF.

My apologies if you got the impression that I meant moms who conceive naturally or easily don't love their kids as much as those of us who have to "work for it." That wasn't what I meant AT ALL.

I didn't know there was such thing as a "naturally concieved" baby hater...thats pretty pathetic.

I concieved naturally and b1tch at times about my nausea/backaches, etc...and pretty much love my baby more than anything else in this world. How does complaining or venting about symptoms mean that you don't appreciate your pregnancy and think of it as an amazing gift????

Your obviously clueless and close minded, so I guess keep on hatin'

karinothing · June 2011

Umm, this reply is stupider than your first post. You should just stop now.

StephK86 · June 2011

OP you are digging a deeper and deeper hole with each post. You could have made a point about how much you will love/appreciate your child without dissing everyone else. I get that you are cherishing each and every moment of your pregnancy because it didn't come easy. That doesn't mean other ladies appreciate their pregnancies any less. Losing my son is the worst thing that can happen to a mother. I appreciate this pregnancy so much knowing how precious life is but let me tell you I appreciated my son/pregnancy with him just as much.

I think you knew when you wrote that post it was not going to be received well. Don't insult a huge group of women and expect them to not defend themselves.

pinkflipflops44 · June 2011

yep. pretty douchtastic.

melodylb · June 2011

Wow. You are a fool.

Ess-elle · June 2011

So, lemme get this straight: I say "they" in the original post referring to the children, not the mothers. You interpret that to mean all other mothers. I repeately use "me," "I," and "my" in the comparison regarding my education or earning money as a child, and somehow, that STILL about everyone else. You guys are nuts.

antosh2008 · June 2011

It's not that the other readers are mentally unstable. It's that you've tried to appologize for a very insensitive comment in such a terrible fashion. It'd be better if there was nothing else said as you're not able to appeal to other people's compassionate side. You've offended many on this board.

Yes, it's an internet board that is full of random strangers pushed together through one of the most emotional times in a person's life. But you're not helping your case by continuing to throw gasoline on the fire!

StephK · June 2011

Ess-elle:
So, lemme get this straight: I say "they" in the original post referring to the children, not the mothers. You interpret that to mean all other mothers. I repeately use "me," "I," and "my" in the comparison regarding my education or earning money as a child, and somehow, that STILL about everyone else. You guys are nuts.

Seriously?! You really need to learn how to own up to something you say and either admit when you're wrong or learn to walk away. Continuing to insult people while you dig your hole deeper is not an attractive quality. Just FYI.

Since you keep saying what you originally posted was totally misinterpreted, I'll try one more time to point out exactly why what you said is being correctly read as insulting by everyone but you:

My UO: I honestly think that children conceived this way are loved, appreciated, valued, and cared for by their parent(s) far more than those who were conceived naturally, even if the pregnancy was planned. How could they not be?

How does the most offensive part refer only to the children and not their parents? Last time I checked children don't parent themselves. You specifically referred to the parents of the children. You then ontrasted them with the children who were conceived naturally, which, by extension includes their parents, too I don't understand why you're having such a mental block on what you said. Own it and move on, please!

I am kind of ashamed I wasted the energy trying to explain this. I should know better.

Jessie*J · June 2011

*Lurking*

Wow. This went downhill fast lol.

I think, maybe, it was just worded wrong in the OP? And then when she tried to apologize it got worse with everyone? I could be wrong though lol.

I wanted to add my own experience in here and maybe it will bring light to what I *think* the OP was trying to say?

My first DD took 5 months to conceive with no medical issues. This pregnancy I went through HELL. 5 years of hell as a matter of fact. We went through money, treatments, failed adoption, and had our personal life invaded because we wanted HELP for the medical issues we were fighting. Just because we already had 1 child didn't mean we weren't entitled to the family we envisioned we'd always have. We took every road we could just to try and have our family.

My first DD who was conceived with no IF issues is no less than the miracle I am carrying now .... but I will say that I sure as hell appreciate what i've been given way more than I did the first time around.

I didn't know what I had been given the first time. I knew I loved my baby and I was pregnant and I was lucky but I foolishly thought that we'd try 5 or 6 months the second time around and bam, get another. Boy did I get a slap in the face.

I can speak from both sides of the fence (not having IF and having IF) that AFTER my IF - I have a deeper, much deeper understanding this time around.

It's like when cancer patients say they have a deeper sense of life and how to live it coming from their experience with their disease, I have a deeper sense of my pregnancy and what it took to get this 2nd LO because I had to fight like hell to get here.

Doesn't mean we love them more but it does make you perceive it differently. I actually have to explain this to family who think I love this LO more than my first DD just because of our IF journey. Completely not true. Just a different journey and a different sense of what I got to have.

I'm thinking maybe this was sort of what the OP was trying to say? (Not trying to put words into your mouth OP).

Jessie*J · June 2011

Again, I could totally be wrong, but I think the OP used the words the wrong way by saying they are loved and cared for more. To me it's just a deeper understanding of what i'm getting to experience this time around. (Which I think it what StephK was also referring to about her experience with her son).

SheLovesMrHip · June 2011

Ess-elle:
At no point did I refer to other people and their pregnancies.
A child conceived naturally would have been an amazing blessing to me. However, that didn't happen. And I appreciate every little thing that has come with this pregnancy WAY more than I would have otherwise.
You seriously think I believe that parents who went through an intervention love their kids more? That's ridiculous. By that logic, Nadia Suleman's kids would be the most loved offspring in the world, and that woman CLEARLY doesn't have her kids' best interest anywhere on her radar.
I liken it to paying for post-secondary education: I think I value my education more because I had to pay for (part of) it. Had it been handed to me on a silver platter, I'd probably have been more inclined to piss it away and waste my time.

Um now this bugs me......So are you saying that people who have their educations payed for don't value what they went through in school then those who had to pay their own way??? Because if it is then sister you are just going the wrong direction in your thinking today.......
I thank God that my parents were able to put me through college, knowing that, I worked twice as hard in school, and then busted my a$$ to get to where I am today because of them!!!

PESS16 · July 2011

I didn't even get through most of this post before I got bored of the drama..... who cares what she or anyone else thinks? Why are so many of you ladies wasting your time arguing back and forth? There's no need to justify who loves who more, you know how you all feel about your pregnancies, your babies, and your individual circumstances, isn't that all that matters?

karinothing · July 2011

PESS16:
I didn't even get through most of this post before I got bored of the drama..... who cares what she or anyone else thinks? Why are so many of you ladies wasting your time arguing back and forth? There's no need to justify who loves who more, you know how you all feel about your pregnancies, your babies, and your individual circumstances, isn't that all that matters?

You obviously haven't been on the Nest very long. What really matters is the ability for the majority of us to waste time at work with some internet arguing.

anniemh20 · July 2011

I understand what you mean. I tried for two and a half years to have my son, and had two miscarriages before he came along, the doctor was not optimistic about us ever having a successful pregnancy. I think we have been more giving, more forgiving and generally living in the moment more parents because of it.

Don't let them get you down, unless you have been in these situations people really do not understand what this feels like, but I would be cautious about posts like this on boards like this one, pregnant after IF or a loss would get this and be more appropriate.

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Woah - re. the UO below. Want to clear that up...

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