As much as I abhor it, and would never get one myself, I'm pro-choice simply because I don't feel I have the right to tell any other woman what to do in that situation. I do feel that any woman in that situation should look at all the other possible options, and that the father should have some say, especially if he wants to keep the child and raise it as a single father if the mother doesn't want it. Saying that, there's no way I'm going to demand she do what I would do. Now, just give me a minute to get my flame-retardant suit out....
I have to say today's Unpopular Opinions are the most interesting I've seen in a long time.
So far we've touched on women's rights, religion, child-abuse and now abortion... it's times like this I wish I was more political so I could add to the mix.
TTC since August 2009
June/July 2011 - IVF #1 - Transfer cancelled due to OHSS
23 perfect embryos. All 23 made it to freezing!
September/October - FET #1 - October 12th - 2 Grade A embies
October 20th - BFP??! EDD - July 1, 2012
Beta #1 = 154, Beta #2 = 352 Beta #3 = 3,800
U/S #2 - November 14th = 133 bpm! U/S #3 & 4 - November 30th and December 7th = 163 bpm! U/S#5 - January 30th - TEAM PINK!!!
Baby Sweets born on her due date!
I think parents who have obese children are no better then child abusers.
Doing what I do for a job .... I have to question this statement.
Only because I know that there are medical conditions that make children obese that the parents have no control over. Some medications can make children heavier than others, too. Steroids, for example. I know children who have bad asthma and the only way to keep it under control is to put them on a steroid like Predinsone, which has a side effect of gaining (a lot) of weight, and then it's so difficult to take it back off once it's on.
True. I don't view those situations the same as a parent who does not teach their child about nutrition and encourage a healthy lifestyle. I cringe when I see parents (some of them are people I know) who just let their kids do whatever they want. It breaks my heart to see kids who don't need to be obese panting after climbing up the stairs or getting upset because they can't keep up with the other kids on the playground. Fast food/junk food is okay in moderation, but children should still have some healthy habits.
I believe that women do belong in the home and should be submissive to their husbands. There, I said it. ::running for cover now::
And to think I wondered why women's rights and women's health are under attack from my state government right now...
I am by no means saying that women should not have equal rights, or that they should be treated unfairly, that would be insane. I am merely stating that I think it is a woman's duty to care for the home.
But that attitude is what creates the inequities in the first place. If women are supposed to be home tending to the hearth fire then there is no reason for any of them to get a PhD in neuroscience, or become and Ob, or an artist or receive an education beyond the basics you need to run a household.
If we start to pigeon hole certain people as to where they belong then yes we are talking about inequality. Why should a little boy grow up thinking he should and could be anything in the world and a little girl grow up thinking she should be a housewife?
ETA: I am in no way challenging that it is ok for women to stay home at all. I am challenging the notion that it is what they should do and it is what is right in every case.
I think this is wonderfully worded. Women should have a right to choose their destiny. BUT if BN's ideals are that she feels this is the family structure that is right for her, that is her choice. As long as she is not judging other women for having careers or forcing her family ideals on others, she has a right to make that choice for herself and I don't think she should be judged for that.
Choosing to be a stay at home mom/wife also shouldn't get a negative wrap if that's what a woman wants to do. And a women shouldn't feel like she is "just" a stay at home mom or feel like she's not doing enough with her life if she chooses to stay at home because of people having the opposite attitude that women should work and be doctors and whatnot. KWIM? I feel like we're getting to a place where being a stay at home mom isn't valued as highly as it should be. You have a woman say, "I'm a doctor." and she gets all this respect. Anymore a woman says, "I'm a SAHM." and she gets, "Ohhh, that's nice."
Thank you BBJ! This was nice to hear. Sometimes, I feel like my job is soo hard but people dont really value it anymore..Once I tell them I got my education first then they are like oh okay. So this was nice to hear.
I plan on being a SAHM once we have babies. I think femenism now is the abiltiy to CHOOSE whether we stay home or work. In the past we didn't have the choice, women basically had to stay home regardless of education etc. Now we have the right to decide what we do not because someone tells us what to do. I have a bachelors degree and an awesome career, but that isn't what I want to do with my life forever and I see nothing wrong with it either.
1st BFP- March 2011. Natural MC @ 8 weeks
2nd BFP- July 2011. Chemical Pregnancy
3rd BFP- Sep 2011. My beautiful son was born May 2012. 4th BFP-August 2014- Due May 12, 2015
I personally feel that if you need (not want) your mom or MIL to stay with you for weeks after your have a baby, that maybe you weren't ready to have said baby. ::cringe::
I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I am not saying that I agree or disagree, just not sure.
I really want my MIL to come stay with us. She does not work and has all the time in the world to be able to come and spend some time with the new baby, if/when we have one. I will enjoy having her there. I am not saying that I will need here there, but I do want her there. (My mom has a full time job and would not be able to take time to come stay with us as easily. I would enjoy her visit as well.)
Oh my MIL lives 1 mi from us and also does not work. I want her over/around as much as she wants as I want them to be active in our children's lives. I'm certainly not saying no one can come over. ever. Just that I don't think they need to move in.
I believe that women do belong in the home and should be submissive to their husbands. There, I said it. ::running for cover now::
Did you ask your husband if it was okay to post that first?
Okay, for crying out loud. What this woman is expressing is that she agrees with the biblical standpoint of a conservative Christian household. Is that going to be something everyone agrees with? NO. Should she be flamed for her Christian beliefs, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Why is it okay to attack Christian ideals? Maybe the word "submissive" was a bad choice, but it's the biblical term so I get why she used it.
My point is, the kind of submissiveness she is talking about is NOTHING compared to how Muslim women submit to their husbands. Not even close. Muslim women can't even drive in some countries, or vote! But I guarantee that if a Muslim woman came on here and said she believes that women are to submit to their husbands no one would say a word because that would be so politically incorrect. Everyone has a right to choose to follow whatever their religious ideals might be. Even Christians. I get why this is controversial, but I just think it's unfair to jump on her for having conservative beliefs. Should anyone judge her for choosing her religious preferences? NO. Should she judge anyone for choosing NOT to have those same beliefs? NO.
I just think, in religious situations like this, parties need to agree to disagree and respect peoples right to choose what they believe or don't believe.
Whoa whoa whoa there! Take a deep breath. You immediately jump all over me for being snarky towards her Christian values when Christianity was not even brought into the picture at that point, let alone comparing it to other religions. I was in no way judging her religious beliefs.
Sorry Neb. I wasn't meaning to quote you. I meant to hit reply and kind of address how I felt about everyone jumping on her. And I get why they did, but I got where she was coming from too. I absolutely know that you didn't say anything about religion.
Kdodge, I'm sorry if you feel I was making the agrument into something it wasn't. When bible passages start getting thrown around, I don't know. That's an indication to me that it's turning into a discussion about religious beliefs.
My whole point was, EVERYONE has a right to choose their spiritual beliefs or choose not to have spiritual beliefs and they shouldn't be judged for those beliefs. That is all.
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Okay, for crying out loud. What this woman is expressing is that she agrees with the biblical standpoint of a conservative Christian household. Is that going to be something everyone agrees with? NO. Should she be flamed for her Christian beliefs, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Why is it okay to attack Christian ideals? Maybe the word "submissive" was a bad choice, but it's the biblical term so I get why she used it.
My point is, the kind of submissiveness she is talking about is NOTHING compared to how Muslim women submit to their husbands. Not even close. Muslim women can't even drive in some countries, or vote! But I guarantee that if a Muslim woman came on here and said she believes that women are to submit to their husbands no one would say a word because that would be so politically incorrect. Everyone has a right to choose to follow whatever their religious ideals might be. Even Christians. I get why this is controversial, but I just think it's unfair to jump on her for having conservative beliefs. Should anyone judge her for choosing her religious preferences? NO. Should she judge anyone for choosing NOT to have those same beliefs? NO.
I just think, in religious situations like this, parties need to agree to disagree and respect peoples right to choose what they believe or don't believe.
My issue isn't with her personal religious values. It's with the fact that:
A. She said women should be submissive to men.
B. She said that 'a woman's duty is in her home' [paraphrasing]. Nowhere did I see 'A traditional Christian woman's place is in the home'. She made a blanket statement.
FTR - I personally don't care if others have different values than me, or if they are traditional or not. I just object to the wording of the opinion, which the OP knew would be controversial.
I agree. Nobody is attacking her religion or her religious beliefs. She made a blanket statement in her post about being submissive and she posted this in a UO thread. What do you expect?
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This is part UO, part confession, I guess. I know I will really struggle with our IF treatment decisions because a part of me is still a scientist that believes in natural selection. My heart wants a baby more than anything, but my head tells me that maybe we're not meant to and we're not supposed to mess with it. We've chosen to draw the line at IVF, but I'm open and willing to go through IUI. It feels hypocritical at times - that I'm willing to go through certain types of artificial insemination/reproduction and not others.
Please understand that I don't question anyone's decision to do IVF. It's an incredibly personal decision. It's just not for me, and thankfully my husband agrees, for the reason above and for others.
I personally feel that if you need (not want) your mom or MIL to stay with you for weeks after your have a baby, that maybe you weren't ready to have said baby. ::cringe::
I agree with the need part.
My mother (and her sister) offer one month of live in help, including all night feedings, if their kids want it. Their mom did it for them also. I don't know if it will be something I will accept, but getting to sleep and having the extra help, especially with my first, sounds really nice
My unpopular opinion is that the Bible is amazingly stupid, and people who follow it strictly are required to be as stupid as the stupid, archaic, heavily edited and altered, paternalistic, and un-holy words within said stupid book. It's about as much "The Word of God" and divinely inspired as a Charles Manson manifesto. Our society becomes more collectively idiotic the more people throw themselves into its praise.
Fer realz. You're better off using the Harry Potter books as gospel. At least there's a moral lesson to be gained without polygamy, kiddie rape, plagues, locusts, or smiting.
My other unpopular opinion is that I wish all the thumpers in this country were Buddhist. At least they have the happy-clappy peace-loving religion. I could tolerate the Buddhists preaching. But alas, no.
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This is part UO, part confession, I guess. I know I will really struggle with our IF treatment decisions because a part of me is still a scientist that believes in natural selection. My heart wants a baby more than anything, but my head tells me that maybe we're not meant to and we're not supposed to mess with it. We've chosen to draw the line at IVF, but I'm open and willing to go through IUI. It feels hypocritical at times - that I'm willing to go through certain types of artificial insemination/reproduction and not others.
Please understand that I don't question anyone's decision to do IVF. It's an incredibly personal decision. It's just not for me, and thankfully my husband agrees, for the reason above and for others.
IF sucks, I'm sorry you have had to even think about all of this. ((Hugs))
I think it's a bit ridic that some of my married friends keep their money fiercely separate from each other - as in writing each other checks for "their half" of the mortgage. I understand that it makes them feel like they can spend "their" money as they see fit, but I find that these are the couples that openly fight about money the most (in my experience). My husband and I take the combine and conquer approach.
I think it's a bit ridic that some of my married friends keep their money fiercely separate from each other - as in writing each other checks for "their half" of the mortgage. I understand that it makes them feel like they can spend "their" money as they see fit, but I find that these are the couples that openly fight about money the most (in my experience). My husband and I take the combine and conquer approach.
I think that if you cannot give up alcohol while you are pregnant, you might want to seek help for a drinking problem, regardless of whether your doctor says a glass (or whatever) is okay.
I think that if you cannot give up alcohol while you are pregnant, you might want to seek help for a drinking problem, regardless of whether your doctor says a glass (or whatever) is okay.
I think if you cannot give up alcohol for any reason you might have a problem. However, if you want (as opposed to need) a glass of wine, with your doctors blessing, go right ahead.
Ugh, this one might get me in trouble...but here goes. I, personally, think co-sleeping with babies/kids is a bad idea. ::hides under desk::
I'm curious what your issue is with the baby being in the same room? Because that is co-sleeping.
In the same bed is bed sharing. They are two completely different things.
(Thank you for the clarification Kdodge!) Bed-sharing with infants scares me. Seems very dangerous to me, although I know that there are co-sleeping/bed-sharing devices so that you can do it more safely. Still highly doubt I will do it.
It's one of those things that gets tossed around like they are the same thing. But truly, there are differences.
Bed sharing can be done safely- but there are a lot of steps and precautions that should be taken. Many people don't, and unfortunately that is why you hear the horror stories about bed sharing.
I am definitely talking about bed sharing. (Sorry! I didn't know that was not the correct term.) Co-sleeping, I have no issue with. I plan on having a bassinet in our room at first, then transitioning to crib. Bed sharing I have the issue with (and this is my own personal standpoint) because it can be dangerous for the baby. Also, I think it can cause sleep to be difficult for all parties and, lastly, some babies/kids have an awful hard time transitioning to their own bed once they've gotten used to sleeping with their parents. So, those are the reasons that I won't choose bed sharing for myself.
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I believe that women do belong in the home and should be submissive to their husbands. There, I said it. ::running for cover now::
Gotta say, I agree with this. BUT, I think people have a skewed concept of what "submission" really is. It doesn't mean you're beat down by your husband or that you're some spineless, personality-less slug who just says "yes, husband," to whatever he wants. Submission just means that, ultimately, you defer to his judgment. I'm submissive to my husband, but I sure as heck make my opinion known. I also don't get why women cringe at the idea of being in the home. Taking care of the house and not having to work has been the best thing ever for me. Quite frankly, it's the best job I've ever had. *shrugs* I prefer to let my husband take the lead, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Totally agree w/ this. If you really read Ephesians 5:22-31, which is where the "submit to your husbands" verse is found, the whole passage is more directed at the husband than the wife. Wives are to submit to their husbands, but husbands are directed to love their wife as Christ loved the church, giving up his life for it. If all of our husbands truly loved us in that way, that selfless-ly, submitting to them becomes fairly easy for us. Submission is about respect, not being a spineless punching bag.
That said, whether a woman stays at home or not is a very individual choice, that should be made between a husband and wife, and not criticized either way by anyone else.
~*Lots of love to my BFPB's: mel66, MercierGirl, DBoo0510, & NewbieLisette*~
I think a married couple should have one shared bank account, and should never have seperate ones. I think that when couples start splitting bills and saying well I paid for this and you pay for that, it can bring out ugly energy. I also think that having two bank accounts and "splitting up bills" can cause tension and greed and can have the potential to lead to lies.
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Ugh, this one might get me in trouble...but here goes. I, personally, think co-sleeping with babies/kids is a bad idea. ::hides under desk::
I'm curious what your issue is with the baby being in the same room? Because that is co-sleeping.
In the same bed is bed sharing. They are two completely different things.
(Thank you for the clarification Kdodge!) Bed-sharing with infants scares me. Seems very dangerous to me, although I know that there are co-sleeping/bed-sharing devices so that you can do it more safely. Still highly doubt I will do it.
It's one of those things that gets tossed around like they are the same thing. But truly, there are differences.
Bed sharing can be done safely- but there are a lot of steps and precautions that should be taken. Many people don't, and unfortunately that is why you hear the horror stories about bed sharing.
Count me as one of the clueless. I had no idea they were different. I always planned on being in the same room until baby is sleeping through the night. Mostly because if I try and walk too far at night without glasses on I will kill myself.
I believe that women do belong in the home and should be submissive to their husbands. There, I said it. ::running for cover now::
If I could stay home I totally would. I would love to be a housewife!! Sure, I might get a little bored but it's where I would prefer to be. Hopefully someday!
Hormone specialist: CD 21 b/w (May 2012): Normal -- Thyroid: slightly low
RE: CD 2 b/w (Oct 2012): Normal -- HSG (Oct 2012) - normal (for the most part), Retroverted/Retroflexed Uterus. Otherwise normal shape and no tubal blockages.
**Unexplained Infertility**
Second opinion (12/16/13): DH: Excellent SA Me: Slightly elevated AMH, slightly low FSH, low thyroid, extremely low DHEA, Jan 2, 2014: Clomid cycle (100mg), 2 great follies at 28mm and 31mm (no cysts so far), great lining and fantastic timing = BFN Jan 30, 2014: Clomid cycle (100mg) + .5mg Dexamethason + 81mg Aspirin = BFN
2015 Testosterone level was 20. Estradiol & Progesterone also low. Hormone pellets for 1 year + Progesterone. Numbers looked great while on pellets. After pellets, Testosterone down to 5! Taking a break from all the bloodwork & hormones.
2016 Looking at possible Th1 & Th2 elevations. Requesting laparoscopy. Currently taking Pregnitude, "Female Balance" herbs, DHEA.
I think a married couple should have one shared bank account, and should never have seperate ones. I think that when couples start splitting bills and saying well I paid for this and you pay for that, it can bring out ugly energy. I also think that having two bank accounts and "splitting up bills" can cause tension and greed and can have the potential to lead to lies.
Agreed!
~*Lots of love to my BFPB's: mel66, MercierGirl, DBoo0510, & NewbieLisette*~
I think parents who have obese children are no better then child abusers.
I agree with this. Baby fat is okay, I am no skin and bones and don't believe I ever would be even if I didn't eat a thing.. no one is made the same, but there are so many children that are way over weight these days and their parents just feed them junk and no healthy foods.
I believe that women do belong in the home and should be submissive to their husbands. There, I said it. ::running for cover now::
Gotta say, I agree with this. BUT, I think people have a skewed concept of what "submission" really is. It doesn't mean you're beat down by your husband or that you're some spineless, personality-less slug who just says "yes, husband," to whatever he wants. Submission just means that, ultimately, you defer to his judgment. I'm submissive to my husband, but I sure as heck make my opinion known. I also don't get why women cringe at the idea of being in the home. Taking care of the house and not having to work has been the best thing ever for me. Quite frankly, it's the best job I've ever had. *shrugs* I prefer to let my husband take the lead, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.
Totally agree w/ this. If you really read Ephesians 5:22-31, which is where the "submit to your husbands" verse is found, the whole passage is more directed at the husband than the wife. Wives are to submit to their husbands, but husbands are directed to love their wife as Christ loved the church, giving up his life for it. If all of our husbands truly loved us in that way, that selfless-ly, submitting to them becomes fairly easy for us. Submission is about respect, not being a spineless punching bag.
That said, whether a woman stays at home or not is a very individual choice, that should be made between a husband and wife, and not criticized either way by anyone else.
Eeeeexactly. He treats me like a princess, so I treat him like a prince. It's a give-and-give kinda deal.
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I think a married couple should have one shared bank account, and should never have seperate ones. I think that when couples start splitting bills and saying well I paid for this and you pay for that, it can bring out ugly energy. I also think that having two bank accounts and "splitting up bills" can cause tension and greed and can have the potential to lead to lies.
Agreed!
See my similar opinion above I've literally heard one friend say to her husband at dinner: "If you eat one more bite of my dinner, it's coming out of YOUR paycheck!" She was dead serious.
I think a married couple should have one shared bank account, and should never have seperate ones. I think that when couples start splitting bills and saying well I paid for this and you pay for that, it can bring out ugly energy. I also think that having two bank accounts and "splitting up bills" can cause tension and greed and can have the potential to lead to lies.
We have 3 accounts, his, mine, and ours. We already had direct deposits/withdrawls set up on our individual accounts when we got together and it was easier to leave that all established.
We both have full access to each other's accounts via our internet banking sites and we know where the money goes. I pay more bills, so he puts more into our savings. We each keep a small amount of "fun money" in our account that we can use on whatever we want (DH loves to eat out, I hate to spend money on food, I like to buy books/clothes)
Also, it allows us to surprise one another at holidays, like when we were dating. We buy our gifts for each other out of our own accounts, and that is a nice surprise. My BIL always takes a huge amount of money out of the joint account to buy my sister a present. When my DH presents me with something he's saved his "fun money" to get me, it means a lot, because I feel like he's putting my wants in front of his. I hope he feels the same when I choose to surprise him with something special! It works really well for us.
I think a married couple should have one shared bank account, and should never have seperate ones. I think that when couples start splitting bills and saying well I paid for this and you pay for that, it can bring out ugly energy. I also think that having two bank accounts and "splitting up bills" can cause tension and greed and can have the potential to lead to lies.
We have 3 accounts, his, mine, and ours. We already had direct deposits/withdrawls set up on our individual accounts when we got together and it was easier to leave that all established.
We both have full access to each other's accounts via our internet banking sites and we know where the money goes. I pay more bills, so he puts more into our savings. We each keep a small amount of "fun money" in our account that we can use on whatever we want (DH loves to eat out, I hate to spend money on food, I like to buy books/clothes)
Also, it allows us to surprise one another at holidays, like when we were dating. We buy our gifts for each other out of our own accounts, and that is a nice surprise. My BIL always takes a huge amount of money out of the joint account to buy my sister a present. When my DH presents me with something he's saved his "fun money" to get me, it means a lot, because I feel like he's putting my wants in front of his. I hope he feels the same when I choose to surprise him with something special! It works really well for us.
We do the same thing, for pretty much the same reasons. We contribute a percentage of our incomes into our joint account so that we are always equal contributors, no matter who is making more.
I think a married couple should have one shared bank account, and should never have seperate ones. I think that when couples start splitting bills and saying well I paid for this and you pay for that, it can bring out ugly energy. I also think that having two bank accounts and "splitting up bills" can cause tension and greed and can have the potential to lead to lies.
My husband and I keep our accounts totally separate. He pays some bills, I pay some bills. It works great for us. We never fight about money, but we aren't crazy possessive either. If he is running short one month he knows he can simply ask me to cover a bill for him that month. I think people need to start accepting that this is an acceptable way of handling money in a marriage.
I believe that women do belong in the home and should be submissive to their husbands. There, I said it. ::running for cover now::
Did you ask your husband if it was okay to post that first?
Okay, for crying out loud. What this woman is expressing is that she agrees with the biblical standpoint of a conservative Christian household. Is that going to be something everyone agrees with? NO. Should she be flamed for her Christian beliefs, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Why is it okay to attack Christian ideals? Maybe the word "submissive" was a bad choice, but it's the biblical term so I get why she used it.
My point is, the kind of submissiveness she is talking about is NOTHING compared to how Muslim women submit to their husbands. Not even close. Muslim women can't even drive in some countries, or vote! But I guarantee that if a Muslim woman came on here and said she believes that women are to submit to their husbands no one would say a word because that would be so politically incorrect. Everyone has a right to choose to follow whatever their religious ideals might be. Even Christians. I get why this is controversial, but I just think it's unfair to jump on her for having conservative beliefs. Should anyone judge her for choosing her religious preferences? NO. Should she judge anyone for choosing NOT to have those same beliefs? NO.
I just think, in religious situations like this, parties need to agree to disagree and respect peoples right to choose what they believe or don't believe.
I am not talking about her religious beliefs. I am talking about how broad generalizations and this attitude in general has led to gender inequalities.
It is a personal choice... but the statement "women belong in the home" is not about an individual situation or even an individual. It is about all women and that is where I object.
Also BBJ -- I you.
Well said Mep.
I you both. AND, I totally get what you're saying Mep and agree with all of it. I just, because of the family I grew up in, get what she was trying to convey. I do agree the first statement wasn't worded well and was really a blanket statement. AND, I get kind of fired up when I feel like anyone is being judged for choosing any particular set of religious beliefs, OR choosing not to have religious beliefs. I definitely know that's not what you were doing Meppy.
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I can't stand fireworks. Not the big expensive fireworks you see at shows, but the do-it-at-home kind. I can't for the life of me fathom why they're so entertaining.
I've never ever thought it was fun to pop fireworks. Ever.
"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."
Alright here goes I am a social worker who see's parents who constantly have been given chances to get there children back and will show up pregnant time after time and be allowed chance after chance. I think that it should be like baseball and the third drug addicted baby you are out and it should be required they have and IUD or something to prevent pregnancy until they are clean and sober for X amount of years. I am aware that this will never happen due to the constitution but I can still dream Ok I have said my peace and will accept all flaming
Re: ***Unpopular Opinion Thursday***
I have to say today's Unpopular Opinions are the most interesting I've seen in a long time.
So far we've touched on women's rights, religion, child-abuse and now abortion... it's times like this I wish I was more political so I could add to the mix.
June/July 2011 - IVF #1 - Transfer cancelled due to OHSS
23 perfect embryos. All 23 made it to freezing!
September/October - FET #1 - October 12th - 2 Grade A embies
October 20th - BFP??! EDD - July 1, 2012
Beta #1 = 154, Beta #2 = 352 Beta #3 = 3,800
U/S #2 - November 14th = 133 bpm! U/S #3 & 4 - November 30th and December 7th = 163 bpm! U/S#5 - January 30th - TEAM PINK!!!
Baby Sweets born on her due date!
True. I don't view those situations the same as a parent who does not teach their child about nutrition and encourage a healthy lifestyle. I cringe when I see parents (some of them are people I know) who just let their kids do whatever they want. It breaks my heart to see kids who don't need to be obese panting after climbing up the stairs or getting upset because they can't keep up with the other kids on the playground. Fast food/junk food is okay in moderation, but children should still have some healthy habits.
100% agree.
Me too...especially brownies.
I plan on being a SAHM once we have babies. I think femenism now is the abiltiy to CHOOSE whether we stay home or work. In the past we didn't have the choice, women basically had to stay home regardless of education etc. Now we have the right to decide what we do not because someone tells us what to do. I have a bachelors degree and an awesome career, but that isn't what I want to do with my life forever and I see nothing wrong with it either.
4th BFP-August 2014- Due May 12, 2015
I'm not sure how I feel about this one. I am not saying that I agree or disagree, just not sure.
I really want my MIL to come stay with us. She does not work and has all the time in the world to be able to come and spend some time with the new baby, if/when we have one. I will enjoy having her there. I am not saying that I will need here there, but I do want her there. (My mom has a full time job and would not be able to take time to come stay with us as easily. I would enjoy her visit as well.)
Oh my MIL lives 1 mi from us and also does not work. I want her over/around as much as she wants as I want them to be active in our children's lives. I'm certainly not saying no one can come over. ever. Just that I don't think they need to move in.
Sorry Neb. I wasn't meaning to quote you. I meant to hit reply and kind of address how I felt about everyone jumping on her. And I get why they did, but I got where she was coming from too. I absolutely know that you didn't say anything about religion.
Kdodge, I'm sorry if you feel I was making the agrument into something it wasn't. When bible passages start getting thrown around, I don't know. That's an indication to me that it's turning into a discussion about religious beliefs.
My whole point was, EVERYONE has a right to choose their spiritual beliefs or choose not to have spiritual beliefs and they shouldn't be judged for those beliefs. That is all.
I agree. Nobody is attacking her religion or her religious beliefs. She made a blanket statement in her post about being submissive and she posted this in a UO thread. What do you expect?
This is part UO, part confession, I guess. I know I will really struggle with our IF treatment decisions because a part of me is still a scientist that believes in natural selection. My heart wants a baby more than anything, but my head tells me that maybe we're not meant to and we're not supposed to mess with it. We've chosen to draw the line at IVF, but I'm open and willing to go through IUI. It feels hypocritical at times - that I'm willing to go through certain types of artificial insemination/reproduction and not others.
Please understand that I don't question anyone's decision to do IVF. It's an incredibly personal decision. It's just not for me, and thankfully my husband agrees, for the reason above and for others.
P/SAIF Welcome
Invisible Finish Line
3T's Traveling Ovary Blog
7DPO Progesterone: low. CD3 BW: normal, HSG: clear
DX: severe MFI (low all 3) and low T. Undergoing replacement therapy.
My thoughts exactly.
Much love to all of my magical ladies.
I agree with the need part.
My mother (and her sister) offer one month of live in help, including all night feedings, if their kids want it. Their mom did it for them also. I don't know if it will be something I will accept, but getting to sleep and having the extra help, especially with my first, sounds really nice
My unpopular opinion is that the Bible is amazingly stupid, and people who follow it strictly are required to be as stupid as the stupid, archaic, heavily edited and altered, paternalistic, and un-holy words within said stupid book. It's about as much "The Word of God" and divinely inspired as a Charles Manson manifesto. Our society becomes more collectively idiotic the more people throw themselves into its praise.
Fer realz. You're better off using the Harry Potter books as gospel. At least there's a moral lesson to be gained without polygamy, kiddie rape, plagues, locusts, or smiting.
My other unpopular opinion is that I wish all the thumpers in this country were Buddhist. At least they have the happy-clappy peace-loving religion. I could tolerate the Buddhists preaching. But alas, no.
IF sucks, I'm sorry you have had to even think about all of this. ((Hugs))
TTC since 2010
lots of IUIs and 1 IVF all BFNs
FET currently on hold
I think it's a bit ridic that some of my married friends keep their money fiercely separate from each other - as in writing each other checks for "their half" of the mortgage. I understand that it makes them feel like they can spend "their" money as they see fit, but I find that these are the couples that openly fight about money the most (in my experience). My husband and I take the combine and conquer approach.
TTC since 3/2011
BFP #1: 11/23/2011 EDD: 8/8/2012 c/p: 11/28/2011
BFP #2: 3/7/2012 EDD: 11/17/2012
Agreed.
Amen!!
Agreed!
TTC since 3/2011
BFP #1: 11/23/2011 EDD: 8/8/2012 c/p: 11/28/2011
BFP #2: 3/7/2012 EDD: 11/17/2012
We love you baby - m/c - 09/10/2011
Ditto
I think if you cannot give up alcohol for any reason you might have a problem. However, if you want (as opposed to need) a glass of wine, with your doctors blessing, go right ahead.
Much love to all of my magical ladies.
I am definitely talking about bed sharing. (Sorry! I didn't know that was not the correct term.) Co-sleeping, I have no issue with. I plan on having a bassinet in our room at first, then transitioning to crib. Bed sharing I have the issue with (and this is my own personal standpoint) because it can be dangerous for the baby. Also, I think it can cause sleep to be difficult for all parties and, lastly, some babies/kids have an awful hard time transitioning to their own bed once they've gotten used to sleeping with their parents. So, those are the reasons that I won't choose bed sharing for myself.
Totally agree w/ this. If you really read Ephesians 5:22-31, which is where the "submit to your husbands" verse is found, the whole passage is more directed at the husband than the wife. Wives are to submit to their husbands, but husbands are directed to love their wife as Christ loved the church, giving up his life for it. If all of our husbands truly loved us in that way, that selfless-ly, submitting to them becomes fairly easy for us. Submission is about respect, not being a spineless punching bag.
That said, whether a woman stays at home or not is a very individual choice, that should be made between a husband and wife, and not criticized either way by anyone else.
~*Lots of love to my BFPB's: mel66, MercierGirl, DBoo0510, & NewbieLisette*~
Count me as one of the clueless. I had no idea they were different. I always planned on being in the same room until baby is sleeping through the night. Mostly because if I try and walk too far at night without glasses on I will kill myself.
TTC since 2010
lots of IUIs and 1 IVF all BFNs
FET currently on hold
What decade have you been transported from?
bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks
bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks
bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks
bfp 4 - 3rd IUI, very late BFN with super low P, c/p
bfp 5 - natural bfp while on lupron, baby born via RCS on 4.27.15 @ 39 weeks
bfp 6 - surprise! baby born via RCS on 11.13.16 @ 38 weeks
If I could stay home I totally would. I would love to be a housewife!! Sure, I might get a little bored but it's where I would prefer to be. Hopefully someday!
TTC #1 since Aug. 2010
OB/GYN: DH SA (Sept. 2011): Normal -- Round 1 (11/27/11): 50mg Clomid = BFN -- Round 2 (12/27/11): 50mg Clomid = BFN
Hormone specialist: CD 21 b/w (May 2012): Normal -- Thyroid: slightly low
RE: CD 2 b/w (Oct 2012): Normal -- HSG (Oct 2012) - normal (for the most part), Retroverted/Retroflexed Uterus. Otherwise normal shape and no tubal blockages.
**Unexplained Infertility**
Second opinion (12/16/13):
DH: Excellent SA
Me: Slightly elevated AMH, slightly low FSH, low thyroid, extremely low DHEA,
Jan 2, 2014: Clomid cycle (100mg), 2 great follies at 28mm and 31mm (no cysts so far), great lining and fantastic timing = BFN
Jan 30, 2014: Clomid cycle (100mg) + .5mg Dexamethason + 81mg Aspirin = BFN
2015
Testosterone level was 20. Estradiol & Progesterone also low. Hormone pellets for 1 year + Progesterone. Numbers looked great while on pellets. After pellets, Testosterone down to 5! Taking a break from all the bloodwork & hormones.
2016
Looking at possible Th1 & Th2 elevations. Requesting laparoscopy.
Currently taking Pregnitude, "Female Balance" herbs, DHEA.
Agreed!
~*Lots of love to my BFPB's: mel66, MercierGirl, DBoo0510, & NewbieLisette*~
LMFAO! Dammit I am mad I'm so late to this.
bfp 1 - m/c 1.31.11 @ 10 weeks
bfp 2 - baby born via c-section on 5.4.12 @ 37 weeks
bfp 3 - blighted ovum/d&c on 4.13.13 @ 8 weeks
bfp 4 - 3rd IUI, very late BFN with super low P, c/p
bfp 5 - natural bfp while on lupron, baby born via RCS on 4.27.15 @ 39 weeks
bfp 6 - surprise! baby born via RCS on 11.13.16 @ 38 weeks
I agree with this. Baby fat is okay, I am no skin and bones and don't believe I ever would be even if I didn't eat a thing.. no one is made the same, but there are so many children that are way over weight these days and their parents just feed them junk and no healthy foods.
Yup, though I make an exception for banana nut anything and carrot cake.
We love you baby - m/c - 09/10/2011
Thank you!
DS - Born 6/17/12
DS#2 - Due 2/11/15
Eeeeexactly. He treats me like a princess, so I treat him like a prince. It's a give-and-give kinda deal.
See my similar opinion above
I've literally heard one friend say to her husband at dinner: "If you eat one more bite of my dinner, it's coming out of YOUR paycheck!" She was dead serious.
TTC since 3/2011
BFP #1: 11/23/2011 EDD: 8/8/2012 c/p: 11/28/2011
BFP #2: 3/7/2012 EDD: 11/17/2012
We have 3 accounts, his, mine, and ours. We already had direct deposits/withdrawls set up on our individual accounts when we got together and it was easier to leave that all established.
We both have full access to each other's accounts via our internet banking sites and we know where the money goes. I pay more bills, so he puts more into our savings. We each keep a small amount of "fun money" in our account that we can use on whatever we want (DH loves to eat out, I hate to spend money on food, I like to buy books/clothes)
Also, it allows us to surprise one another at holidays, like when we were dating. We buy our gifts for each other out of our own accounts, and that is a nice surprise. My BIL always takes a huge amount of money out of the joint account to buy my sister a present. When my DH presents me with something he's saved his "fun money" to get me, it means a lot, because I feel like he's putting my wants in front of his. I hope he feels the same when I choose to surprise him with something special! It works really well for us.
We do the same thing, for pretty much the same reasons. We contribute a percentage of our incomes into our joint account so that we are always equal contributors, no matter who is making more.
We love you baby - m/c - 09/10/2011
My husband and I keep our accounts totally separate. He pays some bills, I pay some bills. It works great for us. We never fight about money, but we aren't crazy possessive either. If he is running short one month he knows he can simply ask me to cover a bill for him that month. I think people need to start accepting that this is an acceptable way of handling money in a marriage.
TTC since 2010
lots of IUIs and 1 IVF all BFNs
FET currently on hold
I
you both. AND, I totally get what you're saying Mep and agree with all of it. I just, because of the family I grew up in, get what she was trying to convey. I do agree the first statement wasn't worded well and was really a blanket statement. AND, I get kind of fired up when I feel like anyone is being judged for choosing any particular set of religious beliefs, OR choosing not to have religious beliefs. I definitely know that's not what you were doing Meppy.
IUI #1=BFN
IUI #2=BFP! Beta#1:87 Beta #2:1050
~It's a GIRL!~
"Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength."