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September 2011 Moms
~*UNpopular Opinion Thursday *~
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Re: ~*UNpopular Opinion Thursday *~
Holla! Just one example: one of my best friends is very athletic and trim. But because she is so muscular, her weight puts her BMI in the overweight category. She wears a size 6. Not to mention all the thin people who get heart disease, and all the overweight people who don't. We are not numbers--we are people, made up of several complex, interwoven systems. You can't define health by the number on a scale, much less on some made-up, outdated chart.
I was trying to get out of this whole thing with just a side eye, but when I saw more than one person jumping on the bandwagon, I got pretty fired up.
I don't think that having a birth plan is ridiculous. I think being unwilling to deviate from it is.
Totally. I see the appeal and use of registries and lists, but when it becomes a slate of demands all parties involved are missing the point.
Edit: I was extremely overweight (I will go ahead and put it out there...I was 315lbs) at the age of 25. I was completely healthy believe it or not, no high blood pressure, no diabetes, no back or joint problems, NOTHING! As the doctors put it...I was a healthy obese person. But I had the gastric bypass in 2005 and now down...pre baby...to 165. And according to my BMI....I am still obese. So just because someone doesn?t sport a size 2 figure (or even a 12, 14, or 16 size) doesn?t mean they are a lazy, unhealthy lowlife that is just sucking the air that all the skinny people are. How many skinny people have health problems, like mentally (takes a lot mentally to stay that size) or the ones that shove their fingers down their throat and need throat surgery to repair the damage of many years of throwing up! Just saying?.before you judge on how ?FAT? someone is?take a look at the skinny person standing next to them and question that situation first!!
Make a pregnancy ticker
You don't need a birth plan to get what you want. In fact the birth plan will most likely be glanced at and put to the side to never be seen again. I don't think she is at all saying you have to give up what you want just not waste your time writing out something detailed and ridiculous for an experience you have never had and where anything can happen.
Eh, It's crossed my mind... but mostly because I'm one of those people who can't look away from a train wreck. If there is going to be an "end of the world" I'd like a front row seat to the craziness. Especially if it includes an ancient Mayan winged snake god. I think we are going to create our own demise though, no religious predictions necessary. Or Yellowstone will blow and America will turn into a big ash pile... we'll see!
Kinda going along with the weight debate going on...
I hate gross generalizations.
That must be unpopular since I hear them so often on the bump and IRL.
I agree, Katywren! When someone's house looks like a museum (or The Container Store), I feel like they don't even enjoy having guests, because one might rumple a couch cushion or drop a crumb. I'm much more comfortable when there's a little imperfection.
To the BMI/weight/curves/judge-y/clusterfvck debate going on I say...
(Mainly because so many ladies are stating my feelings on the matter so beautifully that I have nothing significant to add.)
I have mixed feelings about this post. I used to think this was a matter of someone being lazy and making excuses- though I am not sure I would have been so blunt about it. I was skinny (size 2) all my life until I got married and gained 40 lbs from a medication I was taking (btw- 40 lbs is a lot on a person who is only 5'3). I gained this weight never having stepped foot in a fast food restaurant.
And, yes, I did lose the weight after 5 years by getting off my butt and exercising (literally running 5 miles a day and playing 1 1/2 hours of competitive tennis on most days). But, it was really hard because it wasn't just about being lazy. By then, there was a lot more involved ie. fear of being short of breath from exercise, lack of motivation and almost an acceptance of how I looked even though I was absolutely miserable. And, my metabolism had hit rock bottom from a south beach diet drop followed up by weight gaining meds. It was really hard to ramp it back up and it was almost entirely mental at points. And, I didn't go through anything remotely traumatic or had a serious medical condition (which some people legitimately do) that put me in the position of gaining weight.
So, while I agree with you in that I don't like how obesity is being celebrated as curvy (because it really is in shows like that- and it really is promoting an unhealthy lifestyle), and yes it does cost taxpayers and industry a lot of money- I don't agree with you that it is as simple as getting off your butt or stop making excuses. There are a lot of reasons why people gain weight that are way more complex than just laziness and bad choices. And those reasons need to be dealt with in order to foster making better, healthy choices. And, while I don't think the media should be celebrating obesity- I do think that judging overweight people as just lazy is equally unhelpful. I have a lot of sympathy for people who can't win this battle. Now, I wonder what it is in their life that prevents them from succeeding and hope that they can get the strength to overcome it.
Oh I see what you meant. I agree that refusing to deviate when it could be putting your health, or your baby's health at risk is ridiculous. But I do think it's important to be educated about when a deviation is actually necessary. DH is an attorney who does medical malpractice cases, and it's shocking to hear how some doctors aren't always looking out for the best interest of his/her patient because of overriding insurance/legal concerns and hospital policies.
BMI is actually a very poor indicator of weight, especially with athletically built people. According to BMI results, my husband when wearing a 30 waist with barely a speck of fat on him, was significantly overweight. My brother who is a personal trainer and jacked up with muscle is morbidly obese and my son who wears a 26 waist and looks like he needs a meal (when you can't see his muscles) is overweight as well.
I don't put much stock into BMI because of these facts. My healthy weight is around 150-160, I look great at that weight and I am only 5'6". There are many variances to what constitutes healthy.
I do think though that glamorizing being very obese is not a good thing. My daughter had a BMI of 36. She moved back home with us. She was 16 and couldn't make it up the stairs without wheezing. She began walking everywhere, eating what we ate and just got moving a little. Her weight went from 192 to 148 in a few months. Where she had lived before, she lived with many girls who were also significantly overweight but she was never taught that she should watch her portions, move around more and make better choices. They could eat 6 servings with seconds if they chose and it almost became a constest between these kids. She was on medicine for constipation, asthma, stomach pain etc. All of that was stopped when she lost weight.
I don't know that people mean to be cruel when they say to do something about being overweight, I think they are saying don't say curvy when someone is 100lbs overweight. Curvy used to mean someone who was more naturally voluptuous, it has become a euphemism.
I am overweight I have been underweight within the last 5 years. I've seen it from both sides. Not saying anyone's approach is right or wrong, just saying that the euphemism curvy is glamorizing being an unhealthy weight and I've seen what that does to people firsthand.
No one ever thought of a better sounding euphemism for smoking and that was unhealthy too.
I think that's the point she was originally trying to make, and I actually agree. You guys know I'm all hippie natural water birth, but if something goes wrong, you can bet yourass I'm not putting my birth plan above mine and the baby's safety. If I really need to be cut open, go for it.
I guess that brings up another point. I think a lot of people have the impression that those of us with birth plans or those who want an unmedicated birth care more about our own experience than we do about what's best for our babies. The truth is, for me at least, the birth choices I am making are precisely because I believe they are what's best for me and the baby. Everyone else has to decide what they feel is best--for some people, that's going to be a c-section, or an induction, or an epidural. There are plenty of situations where those things really are in everyone's best interest, so I'm not knocking them. I just hate being made to feel like I'm being selfish because I want to avoid those things unless I need them. I honestly don't get a lot of that on tb, but I do IRL.
Where are you, OP? Was this a post and run? Can you add some more info/ideas in response to people's comments?
AMEN WOMAN! It drives me absolutely insane!!!!
Ditto. I wished people realized that my choices are not in response to other people's---I'm not criticizing someone else by wanting options.
I totally agree that being truly obese is not healthy. What set me off personally was not that someone pointed out that fact. It was the attitude of, "Get off your butt and just eat better," like it's just that simple. Many, many people have real struggles with losing weight, and not everyone is privileged enough to have access to a plethora of healthy foods. I'm not abdicating personal responsibility. I'm just saying that you can't lump all overweight/obese people in the same group and just coldly say, "Get off your butt, fatties!" When you see an obese person, you have no idea what that person's medical history is, what their diet looks like, or how healthy they truly are. For all you know, they could be working on their weight and already be down 20 pounds. Are they not allowed to celebrate who they are right now? Or are they supposed to hang their head in shame and stay indoors until they are skinny? No one is saying that it's healthy to be truly overweight or obese. But overweight and obese people are *people.* We are not numbers, and we are not simply drains on your tax dollars or rising insurance costs. We are people.
To be clear: heatherebee, my rant wasn't aimed at you, but at the original posters of the weight issue.
Okay mine is a little random but it has been on my mind lately, so...
I think all public schools should have a mandatory uniform policy of some kind.
While this opinion isn't so unpopular in my neck of the woods...
I'm absolutely thrilled that gay marriage was legalized in New York and I hope it is an idicator of national legislation in the near future.
I concur as well, sometimes I just have days where I want to scrub the house from top to bottom, I've ALWAYS been like this, from the time I was little to now, but everyone insists it's nesting. No, I just like having a clean house (although, I did have a freak out cleaning session after seeing an episode of Hoarders *shivers*)...
Next complaint follows along with the PP about the C-Sections, except everyone keeps giving me grief for wanting a totally natural birth! It's our bodies, our babies, and OUR birth stories, can we PLEASE do it the way we want??? I'm tired of hearing "Oh, once you go into labor you'll change your mind." or "Well don't complete rule out an epidural." or "When you're in that much pain you'll just want the baby out." or even better is DH thinking I can't do it! He says "With as much pain as you've been in through this pregnancy, I'm sorry honey but you'll probably get an epidural." Agh!
For serious. Wishing California would get their a** in gear now and stop fighting the dang thing.
Interesting tidbit I learned on the radio this morning. If you were in a same sex marriage in CA before prop 8, you file your state taxes as a married couple but your federal taxes as a single person. Messed up. Hoping the rest of the country catches up soon!
Amen. Legit, I'm hoping that this will be the shape of things to come. I worry though---some really traditionally strongly liberal places in the midwest (MN, WI) seem to be moving more to the right. However, as soon as those baby boomers are gone...
No offense taken womancake. I absolutely agree with this! When I was at my heaviest I was on 40mg of prednisone a day. That crap packs weight on and I was on it for 2 full years! But after going up and down and being underweight for a while, I am all sorts of nuts about my size and weight. Mostly though, I am grateful i am healthy again. I still cry when I see pictures of myself now unfortunately because I think I am so fat compared to when I was sick.
That's what the over obsession with weight and body does to the women in this country. I am about a size 14/16 on top and 10 on bottom pre-pregnancy. I see a photo of myself pregnant last night and bawl my eyes out that I look so fat and I can't put it on facebook because I look disgusting. Not hormones.... seriously. It's what I see when I see pictures of myself. I cry. I cry that I don't look like I did when I was so sick my husband thought I was going to die of starvation. How freaking pathetic is that???
I think grown men playing video games instead of helping out around the house or doing other important things is LAME. I guess the same goes for watching tv, and any other unproductive activity. Fine in moderation, but after an hour or two a day- enough!!
I think that there is ZERO excuse for rude kids. I don't understand why parents don't teach their child "please", "thank you", "excuse me", etc... My son knew how to do all that by 18 months, and he was a very late talker.
At three and a half he holds doors open for people, knows how to properly introduce himself and others, shakes hands, and has proper table manners. It's not that hard, and it's your job as a parent to teach your child basic etiquette.
Also- it drives me crazy that people complain about the state of our education system, or how kids act these days, but do nothing to change it. Get involved in your child's school or put them in a private school! Turn off Disney and Nick (they're just teaching your kid to be a snot!) and make your kid go play outside!!! Give your child opportunities to develop into a decent human being, instead of sticking them in a million sports and activities so you don't have to deal with them!!
I don't really have anything new to add to the current debate, so I'll add my own.
I hate it when pregnant women get all put out because people don't treat them with special attention. Yeah, it's NICE when someone offers to let you go to the bathroom first and it's NICE when your husband does some extra chores, but to expect it seems a little presumptuous. FWIW, I haven't seen this much on the Sept. 11 board, just a general attitude I get from pregnant women. The world didn't revovle around you before and it doesn't really now either. My MIL jumped all over DH for not waiting on me hand and foot when we visited her a few weeks ago - and I defended him. I'm pregnant, not crippled, I can carry my own dish to the sink, TYVM
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I am pretty sure California will re-institute it and I'm very optimistic that it will happen nationally in my lifetime. Fingers crossed!
Big, big hugs. I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. FWIW, I think you're beautiful. For realz.
I have three (yes, 3!) today
1) Parents who put their small children in beauty pageants are wierd, and I think that TV show on TLC about it is highly disturbing. Kids should be kids...not dolls.
2) I find it very ironic when someone willingly, and in a premeditated way, murders someone and is sentenced to the death penalty, all of a sudden they believe that THEY have a right to life and appeal, appeal, and appeal again. Didn't the person you murdered have a right to live, too? You didn't care about theirs, why should we care about yours?
3) Our social infrastructure is so full of conflicts of interest. For example, a person can smoke all they want for their entire life, and the government collects tax dollars on it. Ultimately, though, that person will likely get cancer and/or heart disease and/or diabetes (all diseases with potentially very high costs of treatment), and becomes an obligation of the Medicare system. When I see chain smokers, or people filling their carts with crap at the supermarket while they wheel around on scooters with their oxygen tanks pumping, I see my tax dollars going out the window.
In some places, I have no doubt, it will take national mandate as it would never pass on a state level. Liberal MW has challenges, but as you said, I think we'll see a huge difference once the baby boomer/pre-boom population... ummm... how to put this delicately... gets quieter?
But seriously, I was watching the vote in real time online and burst into tears when it passed and said "Yay, William! You can marry anyone you want!"
I totally agree with this. Reminded me of this clip, which is hilarious: https://www.hulu.com/watch/221674/saturday-night-live-disney-channel-acting-school
"In the Disney Channel world, any child is smarter than every adult!"
Love the one about posting while on vacation! Get a life. I don't even bring my phone on vacation. I don't want to connect to anyone else but who I am with!
My Unpopular opinion is regarding customer service! It's gone to the dogs. Everywhere we go, it seems like we get sh***y service. Eateries, buying our furniture from BRU, the dog sitter debacle this week. People suck! My DH is the store manager of a Wal-mart here in TX and even some of his employees and the company have gotten lax about it! It's a shame that our society doesn't truly care about good customer satisfaction anymore. (with the exception of a few good companies)
1 million thumbs up!
Biggest con in American history.
Dear god I hope you're right. Have you ever visited the midwest? It's almost like ignorance and intolerance are celebrated.
On this note, a little unpopular fuel to the fire. Love this article: https://www.good.is/post/liberal-brains-bigger-in-areas-of-complexity-conservative-brains-bigger-in-areas-of-fear/
I just wanted to say kudos to NY on this one- though it isn't an UO where I live either! lol And, I also wanted to remind you that we did it first
Haha.
I was really upset when this didn't pass in my home state of Maine. My hometown Portland is very gay friendly. But, the northern conservatives went out in droves.