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Babies on the Brain
Can't stop!
I can't stop thinking about wanting to have a baby! We don't have much money, but get by. And my husbands 10 year old daughter from a previous relationship lives with us. She is also excited at the idea of possibly having a baby brother or sister. I know that rooms sharing with that great of an age difference isn't ideal, but I think that it is possible especially with a willing sibling.
I don't know what to do to kind of get babies off the brain and let it happen naturally, I just keep thinking about different scenarios and how we could make things work within our budget and schedules. We do have tight space, but I think if we really de-cluttered and developed a good system of organization while utilizing our space wisely it wouldn't be that bad. At least temporarily - I don't want to go looking at 3 bedrooms until we have the baby, because I imagine the 1st year the baby would sleep in our room anyways. But also know that it would save us money and hassle if we could use room dividers to just stay where we are at.
I guess my point is, how do I get over this baby fever. I know I am driving DH crazy.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Can't stop!
get a hobby. Seriously. From your post, it doesn't sound like your DH is on board with your plans for adding to your family. Have you talked to him yet? Sit down and talk about 1)if its even an option in his mind and 2)timeframes and what needs to happen first.
You say that you COULD live on a budget/organize your house more. Well, do it! Start budgeting now for what life would be like with a baby, and put the extra in savings. Clean your house. Lose the weight you've been talking about. Pay off all debt. Get in a good place financially, physically, and start savoring the time as a family of three. Make some memories now that you won't be able to do with an infant. It sucks, but it's just a matter of discipline. And I mean this genuinely, but baby forums are probably not the place for you right now. It's only going to make you obsess more. Maybe not, but only you can tell that.
Anyway, be honest with yourself and respect the wishes of your DH. Do this together when BOTH of you are 100% on board, because the last thing you want is your spouse to resent you over badgering him into a decision he wasn't ready for.
He is on board! I didn't mean to sound like he's not- he's just worried about space, we have everything we NEED (and will have extra money when my car is paid off next year)
In the meantime we have been trying-but not trying. We talked about it often in the past couple weeks and he is really receptive of the idea. So I am not worried about us both not being 100% committed. He knows I am not on birth control, and I feel that if he didn't want a baby he would wear a condom or at the very least not ejaculate inside me. So I mean, if he didn't want a baby he could take action on his end to prevent it.
I like the idea of budgeting like if we already had a baby and putting that aside. That's a good idea.
ok, great that you think he's on board but not talking about it =/= agreement. Ask him point blank "DH, if I peed on a stick tomorrow, and it was positive, what would we do?" Make sure he's ok with it.
And if you're already TTC, why did you post what you did in the first place?
ok, that makes more sense. Honestly, it's part of the process. If you find yourself obsessing, then be honest with yourself and take a step back. Otherwise, it's normal to be excited and having "what if" planning moments.
Also check out fertilityfriend.com if you haven't already. Their tutorials are very informative.
so you can't afford a baby, know you can't afford a baby, but are TTC anyway? Just to see how it goes? Awesome.
Why try to plan a silly thing like being able to afford a baby? Things like this just work themeselves out. Plus, if you move while your pregnant you can get out of all the heavy lifting. You win twice.
Yea, I'm kind of on again, off again with my pill. I mean I know we would make great parents and could make things work, but then I read horror stories about having a baby! I think I just need to relax and let things happen naturally though. Instead of trying to worry about every detail. People in worse situations than ours has made it work, and once the baby reaches school age it will be even easier, especially since there is an older and very responsible sibling around.
You both are idiots. Good luck having babies you can't afford.
It's one thing to get yourself through tough situations. It is another when you have a helpless person depending on you to wing it.
This thread is full of win.
Don't worry, despite you hopping on and off of your birth control like it's a pack of tic tacs, you'll no doubt be incredibly fertile. Being broke and stupid is like the fertility spanish fly.
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
Wow, alot of new parents don't have dedicated nurseries. Hence why we have discussed room sharing with my step daughter , who is thrilled with the idea.
With that kind of thinking, all poor people should have abortions! YAY! Abortion party over here!
you're a moron. accident baby despite responsible planning (or hell, one drunk night) =/= teehee we like totes can't afford it but we'll reproduce anyway, what could go wrong?
Because that's totally the same thing as abortions for all poor people. JFC.
Just because someone is poor, doesn't mean they can't afford or don't deserve to have a child. Some people may never be able to break out of poverty and will have to think of creative ways to make it work. It doesn't mean anything will go wrong. Some things might not be ideal, but people make it work despite extenuating circumstances all the time, I would think that as someone who is "poor" planning well in advance, instead of a drunken night, would be a better option.
Babies are expensive..
That's all I'm adding to this.
This is unbelievable. I guess there is no moderator on this board, or else they have no problem with entitled assholes spouting their judgmental bullshit they way most of your are. You are so helpful, calling people idiots and morons and stupid! Is that why you're here, to make yourself feel superior?
You smug *** assholes are going to really enjoy it when your spawn embody your worst traits. Good luck with that.
Nobody here is violating the TOS. Not sure how a mod would help you. And people can act as entitled, judgmental, ass-holy and superior as they want... this is a public message board. If your panties are getting that twisted, this site isn't for you.
FTR, I think that if you can't afford a baby, you shouldn't have one. Guess I'm a real smug fuucking ***!
If it's a bad trait to have common sense , I hope my kids get it.
Also, I had no clue we could say ***.
ETA: I guess it's only acceptable tot post about multiple assholes.
Whats an AE? I assume you think I made a fake profile- I assure you that is not true. If I want to say something I have balls enough to troll under my own screen name.
Common sense it to respect a woman and their choices regardless of their financial or socio economic standing. But like I said earlier- I don't think it matters if you are rich or poor or inbetween. If you can afford to feed, cloth and shelter a child what else is there to need?
Health insurance, diapers, car seat, all that other shiit.
I have health insurance, paid time off, FMLA, My sister just had a baby as did my very good friend who have offered to give us car seats, play yards, crib. It's not like you get pregnant and a baby pops out right away. You can buy and stock up on things over time. Really the only cost I am worried about is childcare, but even then I have family in the area and only work 3-4 days a week. So we wouldn't even need full time child care.
So as far as me personally, I think that if we organize our house, figure out a room divider (I have been looking at curtain tracks for the childrens room and even a loft bed for DSD for added privacy) Then I don't see how it would be that hard of a situation.
You can not depend on family always. First hand experience here. Things happen unexpectedly, and they may not be able to watch your kid. So you need to be able to pay for child care.
Also, no one said anything about "poor" people not being able to have children. What we said is that if you are planning to have child, and are not sure how to afford it - then you do not have children. If you have birth control and are not taking it, but know you can't afford a child, then you are stupid.
It took you that long to come up with this? Impressive.
Where did you come from? Oh wait, how many AE's do you have?
I'm sorry we don't offer that here.
Oh my GOD this thread is hilarious. And it has been going on for days! Where have I been.
Go on and have your baby, OP. We don't really care. I'm sure everything will be just fine.
:::snort::: Awww did someone get their e-feelings hurt?