Why don't people keep their LOs rear-facing?

Beebee09 · June 2011

I have LO rear facing and plan to keep him that way at least until the recommended 2 year suggestion. Our pedi asks at appointments if he is still rear-facing and the news has mentioned a few times that this is the new standard recommendation.

So my question..why don't people follow the recommendation? Is there something I'm missing? Are their LOs more comfortable front facing? I have NUMEROUS friends who don't follow this and I don't want to say something because I don't want to offend them, but I just honestly don't get why people aren't listening to the guidelines...I understand doing things differently with food and activities, but safety guidelines seem silly to not follow.

Sorry for the rambling...just honestly confused!

amwadas · June 2011

It's all personal preference really. Some think as long as they follow the law that's fine. Others turn them early because their child gets car sick. Who knows. They are the parent and they can chose to do as they like. I myself have chosen to keep her rear facing and probably will until she outgrows the limits on her seat. It works for us. I'm not going to judge others just because they made a choice that they feel is best for their child.

liv97 · June 2011

I think it's convenience over safety for many people. That, or they don't take the time to do any research.

It amazes me how people freak out about cheese, frozen yogurt, wine, etc. in pregnancy on the extremely slim chance something could happen, but once the baby comes, they take all kinds of risks without even thinking about it.

af2004rn · June 2011

It is just that, a guideline. It means that as a parent I can take into account my family's best interests.

FWIW, my baby SCREAMED non-stop in a rear-facing position since about 7 months. I switched her about a week before her first birthday and she's been the happiest baby since. We were in the process of moving and were on the road between Ohio and Illinois weekly. Spending 14+ hours a week in a car with a screaming infant was not cool.

Also, since I was driving the car and she was in the back seat the only way I could hand her new toys, pacifiers and snacks is when she was forward facing.

I am all about safety. But for me, safety also involves the big picture. Driving with a screaming baby, inability to access her, and my ability to focus on the road are a part of the equation.

If RF still works for you, great, go for it. But I don't think it should be an issue for those of us for whom it doesn't work.

Alexandra*sMom · June 2011

I switched Alex & Taylor at a year. They were happier and more content forward facing. That said, Dylan is 13 months and still rear facing. The older girls were 20+ lbs at a year and Dylan wasn't quite 18 lbs at 12 months. I am not sure what I will do when Dylan meets the weight requirements. At this rate, Dylan will be over 18 months when she hits 22 lbs which is the minimum for our forward facing car seat.

Beebee09 · June 2011

I really appreciate these comments. I was in NO way trying to flame or judge, it's your children and of coarse you will do what you want. It never occurred to me that they would fuss more rear-facing..probably because my LO still falls asleep easily in the car.

I agree that a crying baby can be more distracting and dangerous than the rear-seat issue!

Interesting comments, thanks!

aubreysmom1 · June 2011

af2004rn:
It is just that, a guideline. It means that as a parent I can take into account my family's best interests.
FWIW, my baby SCREAMED non-stop in a rear-facing position since about 7 months. I switched her about a week before her first birthday and she's been the happiest baby since. We were in the process of moving and were on the road between Ohio and Illinois weekly. Spending 14+ hours a week in a car with a screaming infant was not cool.
Also, since I was driving the car and she was in the back seat the only way I could hand her new toys, pacifiers and snacks is when she was forward facing.
I am all about safety. But for me, safety also involves the big picture. Driving with a screaming baby, inability to access her, and my ability to focus on the road are a part of the equation.
If RF still works for you, great, go for it. But I don't think it should be an issue for those of us for whom it doesn't work.

This, exactly. Happy baby = mommy can concentrate on the road! Much safer for all of us...

ETA: if she was happy RFing, I never would think twice about changing her to FF.

kcisthebombdotcom · June 2011

liv97:

I think it's convenience over safety for many people. That, or they don't take the time to do any research.

It amazes me how people freak out about cheese, frozen yogurt, wine, etc. in pregnancy on the extremely slim chance something could happen, but once the baby comes, they take all kinds of risks without even thinking about it.

ITA.

While I do think there are certain circumstances that it's warranted (ie the child gets sick everytime he./she is in the car), I think many people are just too quick to FF. My kid went through a phase of hating the car and screamed. He even screamed for 2 hours straight on a long car ride. I'd never even think to FF him. Eventually he got over it.

A PP brought up a good point about a screaming kid being an unsafe situation, and sure if you have a hour commute each way a day with a screaming child, by all means. Otherwise, safety trumps convenience IMO.

It's our job as parents to keep our kids safe regardless of how much they dislike something. I think parents can be too quick to give into what their child wants because it's easier. I dont know how many times I see a parent give their child what they want to avoid a tantrum in public.

penguingrrl · June 2011

In our case having DD2 RFing presented other risks both to her and to my passenger. It left my passenger (usually DH, we're a 1 car family, but also sometimes my mother, MIL or sister) dangerously close to the airbag and windshield (well within a foot) and limited my vision through the side window, which increased the risk of an accident and the risk to my passenger in an accident.

Since we have a 2 door car, not 4, it meant that my kids had to get out on only one side of the car (drivers side). We live in a major city and park on street and drivers here don't watch for children. I was far more concerned that loading the kids in and out on the street side presented a much more likely risk than a serious accident with similar potential result.

I had to sit on DD1s carseat to buckle and unbuckle DD2, which meant DD1 was out on the sidewalk unattended while I loaded and unloaded her sister. Leaving my 3 year old unattended on the sidewalk in Manhattan seemed like a bad idea.

That said, I am an advocate for ERF if it's possible without increasing other dangers. If we had a 4 door car with slightly more space between seats I would have kept her RFing to the limits of her seat. As it is, I kept her RFing until over 22 months before deciding the associated dangers outweighed the potential benefits of her RFing.

Hailstorm20 · June 2011

I switched because DS gets very car sick, with the recommendation from our pedi. Like full on vomit every. single. time. Its a lot better now that he isn't rear facing. I don't judge people who do turn or not because I don't know the story behind it.

goldenleaves · June 2011

I switched Ryan at 15 months. I'm a pretty relaxed parent on almost everything. We went on vacation when he was 15 months old and the car we rented would not fit our carseat rear-facing. He was so much happier in the car so we switched him forward facing from then on.

I'll admit that before I switched Ryan I judged others who didn't rear-face until age 2. But now I realize that different things work for different people. We do what works best for us.

AngelaU1971 · June 2011

All of mine (especially the 6 year old and the 18 months old) SCREAMED bloody murder every time we were in the car!! It was horrible! They were so much happier when we turned them. We switch to front facing at a year. With my oldest, it was still reccommended to turn them at 1 year and 20 lbs and I actually didn't even hear about keeping them rear facing til 2 until recently.

water-fairy · June 2011

We turned DS in the last couple of weeks. Driving with him rear facing was becoming distracting as he would get bored and start to whine. I'd rather be in the right mind to drive carefully than have him rear facing and get into an accident because the whining stresses me out.

emiliemadison · June 2011

Some people turn them sooner than recommended for valid issues like vomiting on every ride, etc. But, I think the biggest factor is that most people dont truly understand the gravity of just HOW much safer RF is compared to FF, along with the (very common!) thought that you just dont think a crash will happen to you. And for a lot of parents, they believe turning their LO forward is a milestone and something they happily reach.

ABColeslaw · June 2011

I switched Asher because he gets extremely car sick, hes still sick for more than a half hour after getting out of the car. He throws up and cries rear facing and its not safe for anyone in the car if I'm constantly trying to take care of a puking baby while trying to drive. I turned him around at his pedi's suggestion.

RJHarmon · June 2011

emiliemadison:
Some people turn them sooner than recommended for valid issues like vomiting on every ride, etc. But, I think the biggest factor is that most people dont truly understand the gravity of just HOW much safer RF is compared to FF, along with the (very common!) thought that you just dont think a crash will happen to you. And for a lot of parents, they believe turning their LO forward is a milestone and something they happily reach.

ITA.

We are still RF

MamatoJackson · June 2011

I think a lot of people view turning the seat around at one year as a milestone, like PP said, which is ridiculous.

Dreamsicle23 · June 2011

Most people I know just really don't know better, and do it just because they can. I'm probably one of the more lax people on here about it - but I'm not going to turn DS around just because I can. He's still totally content RF and if/when that changes I'll turn him around.

vmm0016 · June 2011

We turned her around at her 15 month appt. I asked the car seat specialist if I should turn her around or keep her RF and he said turn her around, he said the 2 year deal is just a guildline and not to worry. I also have a 2 door car and she was much happier FF.

Brewtowngrl · June 2011

DS got switched this weekend on a long car ride. He popped a hernia from screaming and throwing up about half into the ride. We are going to try and put him back RF after our next long ride which is this weekend. You do what you have to do in some instances.

yourmomwreckedmybike · June 2011

my kid doesnt have a problem rfing, but the new car seatt we bought is too big if installed to be rrearfacing. i have to move the passenger seat so far forward that my knees are pressed hard into tthe dash. we only have 1 car, and rarely have just one person in the front. i would prefer him to be rearfacing, but we dont have a choice at this point in time.

aeg51107 · June 2011

I just switched DS to FF a few days ago (he'll be 18mo Friday) b/c I have to put another carseat in the back seat and his seat doesn't fit RF on the side. Also, the limit on his seat for RF is 33lbs and he is just about 2lbs shy of that.

That said, I feel guilty and nervous about it, lol. He is fine RF and is still that way in DH's truck when he is in there.

I try not to judge, but I hate the "his feet hit the seat" argument. If I didn't have #2 coming in a few days, he would still be in the middle and rear-facing. He is in the 95th percentile for height, and wasn't uncomfortable back there.

LurkieLoo · June 2011

My kid screams and crys in the car. He is rearfacing. I wouldn't turn him around, in fact we just got a new carseat to keep him rearfacing as long as possible. I'd rather have a cranky baby for a car ride (even our 12 hour trips to Pittsburgh- which we've taken 4 of in the past 3 months) than a happy one if it means we get to keep him for a bit longer.

Blackvelvet · June 2011

I couldn't find an affordable seat that would keep DS RF in all our vehicals he is FF on the farm equipment but it goes very slowly and all the mechanical stuff is in the back. The feed truck is not carseat friendly but top speed is also 35 and usually much much slower. We spent the money and could easily stay RF in our daily drivers so we did he is only 23 pounds and short so we will stay that way for years

StellaZ · June 2011

yep, boggles my mind too.

PrincessShay80 · June 2011

I am the only one in my circle of friends who still has DD rear facing- everyone calls me the "paranoid" mother. I wish they would just change the law and make it rear facing until 2- and stop with the the law says one thing, but we think this is better- it sends the wrong message.

I feel very strongly that unless your child has a very severe vomitting/car sickness issue that they should stay rear facing until at least 2. DD will stay rear facing until she hits the weight limit, I don't care if she's 3 years old when she does that.

I think people do it because they can, and they just don't want to listen to all the safety evidence out there. Why you would not want to have your child be so much safer is beyond me.

g8trkim · June 2011

I've heard...

1) Legs were getting too long. Which is not a good excuse, because kids don't sit with their legs sticking straight out. They are actually pretty comfy with them bent.

2) They like to see more. Also, not a very good reason.

We're planning on keeping Grant rear facing till at least 2 also.

PiRSquared330 · June 2011

Some people think that because the law says until 1, then that means they should turn the around the second they turn one (they view it as a max instead of a min). I think its just human nature. Its become some sort of rite of passage in our culture.

That being said, safety is very important to us so DD is still rearfacing.

benkari · June 2011

I turned one of my DS's a couple weeks ago because his head was even with the top of the car seat shell and I was told by a car seat tech that it was safer at that point to be FFing. For what it is worth he is 21 months, 31 lbs and 35"tall

meg1974 · June 2011

I think a lot of people aren't informed of the new regulations. Also, a lot of car seats say in their instructions to forward face at one year, so people probably just go by that, thinking that the manufacturer of the seat knows best.

Mrs.Teddy · June 2011

L is still rear facing at 23 months, he is a bit is a peanut at 25lbs, 33inches, we have no intention of forward facing until he reaches the limits of his seat, it until he is 4 whichever comes first. He is however ffing in my moms car because her passenger seat was lifting his seat and loosening the latch, after much debate we decided it was safer in her car to ff face in a properly installed seat. I only know 2 other families who practice Erf we get a lot if flack from friends and family but it doesn't bother us. Sure l cries and whines sometimes but that won't kill him. Also a am vey disspaointrd that our pedi's 12 month handout said to ff and that we had to argue with Carseat techs who wanted us to turn him on several occasions

Summer20 · June 2011

benkari:
I turned one of my DS's a couple weeks ago because his head was even with the top of the car seat shell and I was told by a car seat tech that it was safer at that point to be FFing. For what it is worth he is 21 months, 31 lbs and 35"tall

This makes total sense. If your child is reaching the maximum size for rear facing on his car seat, then he is safer FFing at that point. It should really be about size, not age. A little 21 pound 2 year old will get just as injured as a 21 pound 11-month old in a crash if they are both FFing.

NewFamily09 · June 2011

The friends I've talked to have done it because they say their kids legs have gotten too long and apparently it's uncomfortable for them to sit that way or they keep kicking the seat and getting it dirty. Our DS is on the small side. His legs barely touch the back of the seat and he barely weighs 24 lbs, if that. So he's definitely not near the size of an average 2 year old. I'll be keeping him rear-facing as long as he'll let me. He seems perfectly content RF so far.

SaranJonathan · June 2011

Well my DD doesnt like RF. She fusses, cries, etc. She's been front facing once on vacation (thats what was installed in the transport, better than nothing in Mexico) and once in my moms car because she bought a car seat that doesnt fit RF in her car (we argued on that).

BUT shes 20 lbs. Our seat says you need to be 22 lbs. At her rate she wont be reaching that until the fall. So we have no choice

iumegan716 · June 2011

This question always makes me think about how I can't understand why people use bumpers with newborns/infants and/or allow their babies to sleep on their stomachs.

That being said, we turned DS before the recommendation came out. In fact, our pediatrician encouraged us to turn him, saying that it would be more enjoyable for everyone. He was right, and we haven't felt compelled to switch him back.

jesstibb · June 2011

Oh FFS. You have over 1,500 posts and you don't know the answer to the RF vs FF debate?

mlf625 · June 2011

vmm0016:
I asked the car seat specialist if I should turn her around or keep her RF and he said turn her around, he said the 2 year deal is just a guildline and not to worry.

Then he should be fired. That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Stats are stats, and the stats prove your kid is FIVE times safer rear facing than forward facing.

Do what you want, but don't believe everything you hear- do your own research.

Abinormal · June 2011

Dreamsicle23:
Most people I know just really don't know better, and do it just because they can. I'm probably one of the more lax people on here about it - but I'm not going to turn DS around just because I can. He's still totally content RF and if/when that changes I'll turn him around.

This is my situation. However, things have been changing around here and I know more and more people who plan on rear facing until, at least, 2 years old. My daughter just met the forward facing weight requirement for her carseat (she's 22 lbs at 18 months) so, until recently, it wasn't even an issue. DH is pretty antsy to turn her around (he's just thinking about how much more convenient it would be), but I've stayed pretty hardcore against turning her around.

FWIW, we do plan on turning her around at the 2 year mark. I'm all for ERF, but I don't really like her being rear facing (the convenience of having her forward facing is very tempting) and I'm ok with turning her at the current AAP suggested age.

blissfully_caffeinated · June 2011

I had to turn DS forward facing because he gets really car sick (will throw up every single ride within 5 minutes). I'm not comfortable medicating him every time he gets in the car. He doesn't get car sick nearly as much FF. Aside from the car sick issue he doesn't seem more or less comfortable FF or RF. He is still RF in my Dh's truck with no problems (he has to be in the front seat so that cuts down on the car sickness).

ETA: DS is 24-25 lbs and 35-36 inches. He's extremely tall. He never had any discomfort RF. He either bent his legs or let them hang over the side of the seat. I totally don't understand how FF is more convenient. I still have to put him in the seat. At least when he was RF he could climb in by himself.

shortstuff15 · June 2011

g8trkim:

I've heard...

1) Legs were getting too long. Which is not a good excuse, because kids don't sit with their legs sticking straight out. They are actually pretty comfy with them bent.

2) They like to see more. Also, not a very good reason.

We're planning on keeping Grant rear facing till at least 2 also.

Actually some do. I have never seen her sit cross legged or with her legs bent, unless they were underneath her, which she couldn't do in a carseat anyway.

As for us, we could barely fit her carseat in the backseat rearfacing. It touched both seats and my husband wasn't 100% comfortable driving with her seat that close to him. Now that she is forward facing we feel much safer siting in the front of the car because both of us can move the seats as far back as desired without touching her seat. I agree with others saying that it's all about safety overall. For us it was safer moving her forward because the safety of the front passengers was compromised by having her rear facing.

As for the poster who wants it law until 2, I don't see that happening anytime soon. For those of us with vehicles that won't fit 2 carseats rearfacing it would be impossible to keep the oldest rearfacing when/if we had a second before the oldest was 2 and buying a different vehicle just isn't an option for some people.

macchiatto · June 2011

mlf625:
vmm0016:
I asked the car seat specialist if I should turn her around or keep her RF and he said turn her around, he said the 2 year deal is just a guildline and not to worry.
Then he should be fired. That's about the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Stats are stats, and the stats prove your kid is FIVE times safer rear facing than forward facing.
Do what you want, but don't believe everything you hear- do your own research.

Agreed. He sounds very poorly informed, especially for a car seat "specialist."

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