https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/06/20/rosalina-gonzales-sentenced-for-spanking-_n_880432.html?ref=fb&src=sp
I saw this article yesterday. A woman in TX has been sentenced for spanking her kiddo.
DH and I are still discussing discipline; but, loosely, I think spanking is one of those issues that doesn't have to be wrong but is in no way always right either.
Anyway, if you plan to or would consider spanking, does an article like this give you pause? Would you change your philosophy because of something like this?
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Re: Spanking
I think this is a little overboard, though there is a fine line when spanking is considered. Though I don't plan on spanking, I don't side eye someone just because they do. I think that it becomes questionable if it happens to an older child (10+ I don't see the lesson learned), if the parent spanked out of anger, or if the parent spanks a child as a result of the child hitting/bitting/ doing something physical to another child.
As far as it being a crime, I think that's dumb. She didn't abuse her kid. In this case I think it's an example of an overly cautious system going where it doesn't need to be.
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I also saw that article. I agree that spanking is a hot button and some people agree with it while some people don't. I feel this is one of those topics that individuals should agree to disagree on, so long as discomfort, not harm is coming to the child. I spanked my boys when they were little. It had to be a severe offense, that was dangerous to them, and they had to have done it more than once. For example, My oldest son would run away from me. He thought it was a great game, and would not comprehend it could be dangerous. The first time, he was told how dangerous it was and he laughed. The second time he got time out and another explanation on the danger. The third time, he got his butt smacked along with the explanation. I am sure my Ladybug will end up getting spanked once or twice as she grows up. I can hope not, but my family is strong willed, and the kids have inherited it from me.
What upsets me is that we can have articles about a mom going to jail or facing probation for disciplining her child, it does not state the child?s offence, and parents like the boy locked in a dog cage, given limited food and water, plus limited access to the bathroom, for a year until he passed away. CPS were called to the house numerous times, and the boy was still put in these peoples care. There needs to be a healthy balance between the government getting so involved in a parents parenting technique that the parent is terrified to discipline their children, and the government failing to step in to protect those that are so fragile in our society.
And don?t get me started disrespectful kids these days that feel the world is owed to them.
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Spanking will be used very sparingly and when only absolute neccesary in our household. DH was spanked once his entire life. And I can honestly say I remember being spanked everyday of my childhood. I was no where near abused, but this is just how my parent disciplined. They are extremely loving, amazing parents. In my eyes, it obviously didnt work, if I needed a spanking every day. They would spank me, and then send me to my room... Where I had all my toys. Great punishment, right? Toys are a great way to forget about a spanking
We will def do whatever it takes to think outside the box, in terms of punishment for bad behavior.. but, if the situation arises, that our kid(s) need a swift smack on the behind, then so be it. This will only be used in the absolute last case scenerio.
With that being said... I do not agree with spanking a bare behind, I dont believe in smacking the face, and I dont believe in using objects for spanking (Wooden spoon, hairbrush, etc)
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Not judging here at all because I've had to spank DD several times in her 13 years but...I kinda have to side eye myself if I were to say "I PLAN on spanking" I'm really not to sure if planning to is the greatest way to put it...
Just a thought
The thing about the article is that SURELY just a little spanking is not the entire story. She doesn't have custody of her kids, it left marks, etc- who knows what really happened? I'm pretty sure though, its not like she popped her kid once for running out in the street and ended up in jail.
We will not spank. Ever. You can tell me all you want that I will change my mind later, but this is one thing I'm very adamant about- I will NEVER hit my child.
I will spank my kids if other forms of discipline don't work.
I was spanked as a child but it was only if I did something REALLY bad. Also, my parents would send me to my room, have me wait for them to come in, explain why I was getting spanked, spanked and then hugs and a promise not to do it again. I think the waiting and anticipation was the killer. The spank was always on the bottom, never enough to leave marks or really hurt. Also, it was never done out of anger. It was never just an immediate reaction to what I'd done. It happened rarely, and then even the threat of a spank would stop me in my tracks.