- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Cincinnati Babies
kyfirewife
member
Clicky Poll: 3 yo bday party, tacky idea? or okay?
kyfirewife
member
We've decided we want to have a big bday part for DD, but we don't want our guests to bring gifts, for several reasons.
I've been to bday parties where the invitation specifically said "no gifts" and, well, it seems as if we're the only ones who pay attention.
The last such one we went to I meekly walked up and placed our card on the table that was piled high with presents.
So this morning I was thinking... what if, in the invite, instead of just saying "no gifts", we said something like "DD has plenty of toys, however a donation to PBS will ensure that her favorite educational television shows stay on the air for years to come". Maybe worded better, but you get the idea.
WDYT?[Poll]
I've been to bday parties where the invitation specifically said "no gifts" and, well, it seems as if we're the only ones who pay attention.
The last such one we went to I meekly walked up and placed our card on the table that was piled high with presents.
So this morning I was thinking... what if, in the invite, instead of just saying "no gifts", we said something like "DD has plenty of toys, however a donation to PBS will ensure that her favorite educational television shows stay on the air for years to come". Maybe worded better, but you get the idea.
WDYT?[Poll]
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Clicky Poll: 3 yo bday party, tacky idea? or okay?
Don't do it. I tried this twice, because I was so overwhelmed by the amount of stuff my parents and ILs were giving us for Leah on a regular basis. The first time, I requested no presents. Everyone brought presents except a couple of people, who clearly felt bad that they had listened. I had to profusely apologize. The second time, I tried to make it into a "good" thing and asked that, in lieu of presents, people brought a book for us to donate to Dayton Children's. Some people still brought presents, but some brought books as presents, and clearly meant for them to be gifts for Leah and not for Children's and it was a mess.
People seem to love shopping for kids' gifts, which I don't understand because it's torturous for me (even when I'm shopping for Leah, since what she "loves" changes daily). This time around, I didn't put anything about gifts. People brought nice gifts and Leah LOVED opening and playing with them. And then when she'd open the gifts, she'd say, "I LOVE THIS!" or "I AM SO EXCITED!" and people got a kick out of it.
Learn from my experience. I see where you're going and, honestly, it kills me to watch my kid be showered in gifts when I know there are kids in Dayton who get nothing on their birthdays, but I try to give back in other ways. When Leah stops playing with a cool toy, we take it to Goodwill together.
I agree with Teacherjess. I know a few other people have asked about doing this and it seems like the response always ends up being "don't do it". I even thought of doing it myself. I just plan on doing frequent Goodwill donations.
I wouldn't do it. That said, a friend of mine does an bi-annual toy donation... just before the birthday month (both kids were born the same month) and just before Christmas.
So, I wouldn't go there... but I would do a donation to clean up space.
Not sure about a kids party (I think it is GREAT Idea, also loved the book idea for a charity)...but We did this for our wedding, People really did listen. Not everyone donated but we ended up giving over $7,000 to charity ( a food pantry in Madisonville and an ovarian cancer research grant org)..We only ended up with three wedding presents. Out of 210 guests that is pretty good!
I say go for it!
I'm one of those people who actually follows the wishes of the host and doesn't bring gifts when it says "No gifts." If someone arrived with a gift to a "no gift party" I would gently say something along the lines of "oh no, no. Please no gifts. My child has plenty. Please take it home for your child or donate it to Children's Hospital, etc." and if they refused to take it back I would put it in another room where it wasn't visible to any other guests as it only makes people who followed directions feel uncomfortable and embarrassed.
As for donating money to a specific charity, I like the idea but I am not wild about being told to which organizations to donate. What if the organization was something I was fundamentally opposed to for whatever reason? I would far rather bring a book or toy to donate to a children's hospital, Toys for Tots, etc.
Personally I wouldn't do it, only b/c that is part of the fun of having a birthday party. For me and my kids if I didn't want them to receive gifts I wouldn't have a party and invite all of the family. I do think that if you would like to teach your kids about donating to those who are less fortunate then maybe you ask your child that when they get new toys they give some old ones away. Maybe for every 2-3 things they get they get rid of 1 toy. Isabelle and Oliver have a ton of toys but honestly they get bored with what they have so it's nice to be able to rotate toys in and out that they get for special occassions. Also at birthdays and holidays they recieve more age appropriate toys so I pack "younger" toys for future children.
Michelle
I don't think it's bad or tacky to ask for no gifts, but I wouldn't personally do it. I've never had an invitation that said that, so I've never actually had to deal with it. I would probably listen and do what the parents requested, but I just can't imagine showing up at a kids b-day party without something for them. I know it's good to try and teach children about helping out the less fortunate, but what is a birthday without at least some presents? I think by 3 they understand that at times like birthday's and Christmas that kids usually get presents, and if they've received presents at previous birthdays, how will you explain why they didn't get presents this time?
I think shellbug had a great idea. Have them go through their old toys and pick some to donate. That way they're doing something for others, and you can keep your house from being overrun with stuff they aren't playing with anymore.
The "official" rule on this according to etiquette is that it's a no no. I, personally, would not be offended and I understand your good intentions, but there is supposed to be no mention of gifts whatsoever on an invitation, even if it is telling them not to bring one or suggesting that they make a charitable donation. It is only okay to talk gifts when someone specifically asks.
We regularly go through our toys and donate some of them, and before birthdays and Christmas is a great opportunity to do this. We discuss that we'll be getting new things and that we don't need to keep everything we have. I think it's fine to graciously accept gifts and have your fun, as long as you are doing your part to give back.