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nyc wedding mini vent
My cousin is getting married in NYC in October. It's going to cost around $1500 for DH and I to go the wedding. I am in the wedding and that does not include the dress that was $250.
She emails us today asking how much we are willing to pay to get our hair done. She said that she doesn't want to pay new york city prices to get all of our hair done. Do you think it's tacky to ask for the bridesmaids to pay for their own up- do? All of them are married with kids and from out of town, all flying in without their children because they couldn't afford to bring them, paying $250 for dresses (doesn't include shoes which she hasn't picked out yet) oh and they are all SAHMs with husbands on mid-west salaries?
I do. I was little ticked when she asked me that. So I replied with "I have faith that we could do a really great job doing our own hair." Was that rude? I mean, she asked... I can't even afford to get her a wedding gift until we get the airfare and hotel paid off!
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Re: nyc wedding mini vent
I've been in a ton of weddings and I'm not sure a bride has ever paid for my up-do. I guess my thought is when you accept to be in the wedding, you know you have to pay for the travel, dress, hair, shoes, etc. I know it sucks, but oh well.
So while I don't think it's tacky that she isn't paying for your hair, I think it's perfectly fine if you decline to get it done. If she MADE you get your hair done and you weren't able to pay for it, then I think she should nicely pick up the tab.
The two men in my life. Oh, and I have a husband too...
I do not think it's tacky to decline getting your hair done. When I am in weddings. I almost always decline getting my nails done. I think it's a waste of money and no one is taking pictures of my hands, ya know? Haha. I just go and chat it up with the rest of the wedding party. If that's tacky, them I'm it with a capital T.
The two men in my life. Oh, and I have a husband too...
It is not tacky to decline getting your hair done. You are an adult and it's your hair.
Personally, if you were that stretched I would have declined being in the wedding party altogether, but that's just me.
I thought about it. But she seriously is my sister. We were born only 2 hours apart at the same hospital and grew up together like sisters. It just sucks that she chose NYC over Indiana to get married.
I did not want to get my hair done at my brother's wedding - just cause I hate that kind of thing. I did it to make the bride happy and it would have been impolite to ignore her wishes in my mind. I did pay for it myself, but it was in Ohio.
At my wedding, I paid for the hair of the bridal party - but it was really inexpensive due to location - I probably paid for the entire party what it would cost for one person in NYC.
Yeah! I just found out from her that she can't find anything for less than $100 per person! For some hair spray and bobby pins!
Is the wedding in Manhattan or in an outer borough?
In Manhattan 100 is pretty standard, but if she is getting married in an outer borough or wants to pay someone to come to the bridal suite and do it she may be able to find cheaper.
I did have that kind of wedding, but my bridesmaids did their own hair if they chose, you couldn't really tell the difference. They all had different hair textures and types so I would say as long as she isn't "requiring" uniform styles it shouldn't make a difference.
The wedding/reception is in Manhattan. She wants someone to come to the hotel suite she is renting for the day.But she was looking into other options, and $100 a head is the cheapest she can find.
I definitely think if she wants your hair done, she should pay for it. If she gives you the option of doing it or not then it's okay to have people pay for their own.
1. I think it's very generous of any bride to offer to pay for hair styling. If the bride requires a professional stylist, the bride should pay. If the bride doesn't require it, there's no obligation for the bride to pay.
2. I think your answer to her was perfectly fine. She asked how much people are willing to pay and you politely said you don't think it's necessary (implying that you don't want to pay).
Weddings add up, especially when you have to travel, and are in the wedding.
My bridal party was all family with the exception of my best friend from college. As their gift for the wedding I found cheap necklace on theknot 9.99 for necklace and earrings (i had them wear just the necklace, and they could do what they wanted earring wise).
But then I also gave them "gift certificates" toward their hair and make-up. We hired somebody to come to the house and she charged $50.00 for up do's and $25.00 for make up. My sisters who were both maid of honors got $50.00 and the 4 bridesmaids got $25.00 each.
Also, my mom who was super generous throughout the whole wedding (they paid for a lot) Paid for $100.00 out of each bridesmaid dress which came to $180.00 each plus alterations.
On a side note a friend of mine and I don't speak anymore because she picked to have her wedding just 2 weeks after mine and asked me to be in it. I had said yes at first cause she had initially thought of a different time frame.I changed my mind and let her know 10 months before the wedding that I didnt think it would be smart to be in her wedding. Anyway, I was not willing to spend 300 a night on a room for myself (Minimum 2 nights), since DH couldn't take off since he had just taken 10 days for our wedding, and they wouldn't let me bring anyone else in his place. Once you factor in the dress, food, travel, hotel and gift it would have been well over $1,000.00 I wasn't going to drive 3 hours each way to be there. So needless to say they took back the RSVP to ours, and I didn't go to their and we no longer speak. All she cared about was the $117 per plate they (her parents) were paying.
At least in that instance it wasn't family.
I agree, and this is what we did too, but it's not traditional.