NOW I feel infertile and a question about donating embryos - warning EMOTIONAL!
Warning - I am still emotional and this will read insane. Please don't hate me, my brain feels like it is spinning right now, I need reassurance.
OK, this weekend DH and I sat down to read over the IVF paperwork. With IUI I felt like we were fine, just needed a little help. IVF makes me feel 100% infertile. I am not judging people who need it, and I know that I am not being judged by needing it, but moving there is an emotional kick in the gut. And that consent form did not really help. I love how it goes over all the side effects - like the meds. Side effects, moodiness, zits, whatever, or death. And the surgery, side effects, drowsiness, nausea, or death. And hey, you only have like a 30% shot of this even working, or you might die. Have a nice day.
But one part of the consent for has me and DH in debate. What do we do with any leftover embryos. Trash them, freeze them, or donate them. DH is not opposed to donating them to help another couple. I am still really emotional (you know, because of my potential, although unlikely death), so I am not sure yet. Could I stand it if we were walking and I saw another couple walking around with OUR child? I will ask this at my IVF teach class Thursday but what do you all think? I DO like the idea of helping another couple, but what are the odds of that couple living near us? I keep coming back to people on our street having a little Emily of their own. And of course it is a clone of my Emily... help me!
Thanks everyone.
Our Twin Baby + a Big Girl Blog
And with the delivery trifecra of one twin vaginal, one c-section with general anesthesia for twin B, Spencer and Sidney joined us at 35 weeks exactly on June 18.
Re: NOW I feel infertile and a question about donating embryos - warning EMOTIONAL!
This has been the basic dilemma my DH and I have with IVF....when we first started fertility treatment 6 months ago, we went into it agreeing we would not do IVF (we of course assumed the IUI would work). But now we are are here...6 months later, no baby, 3 failed IUIs and IVF staring us in the face. I too am struggling...Could I do it? Could I create lives only to discard them? Is it fair for me to create more children I won't be able to keep, when there are so many children who already exist who need loving homes? Those embryos are my children and while giving them away is indeed a noble thing if it helps someone else, I would live the rest of my life wondering where they are, who they've become and probably feeling guilty.
These are indeed difficult situations that require big, emotional decisions with life long implications. Be kind to yourself, you've been through a lot. You're doing the right thing in reading all the fine print and considering all the factors....and talking to others. I'm interested to hear how your meeting goes this week ....keep us posted!