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Parenting
Did you have a bedtime routine at 1 month for your baby?
I had DD's appointment today and thought their expectations were weird.
At one month:
Baby 'might still' be waking 1-2x night
Put down drowsy but awake
Bedtime routine
Now she's my 3rd so I'm comfortable/confident with how we're doing things but I thought pretty much all kids at a month were still in the 'survival mode' phase. She's basically in my arms or nursing most of the time. (She does like her RNP too though thanks to whoever recommended it on here!). We go to bed at the same time etc. (until bedtime she's asleep in my arms or cluster feeding on a 'bad' night). She sleeps with me but I know that's not necessarily typical (although I don't think it's all that rare at this age).
How were things in your house at 4-6 weeks?
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Re: Did you have a bedtime routine at 1 month for your baby?
ha - to give you hope my 2.5 and 5 year olds STTN and alone now. But they were both regulars in our bed not so long ago!!
umm, yeah. we were in survival mode at that point and both of my kids were on loose schedules/STTN at a pretty early age. We don't do CIO or babywise or anything, but both kind of fell into the routine and STTN early (IMO - I would say both were STTN by 2-3m old).
We might have been sort of doing drowsy, but awake at that point - if we could. But not with any regularity. If I noticed baby was getting sleepy, I'd try to put him/her down and let them fall asleep on their own.
ETA: we did have a bedtime routine, but that was because Scarlett had reflux and was slightly colic-y. Every night at the same time, she'd scream, I'd get in the shower with her, she'd calm down, we'd put her in pjs and then feed her and put her to bed in her crib after some rocking. Throughout the day napping was all over the place (PNP, with me, in the moby, in my arms, etc.).
Of course they did. It was change diaper, feed baby, rock/hold until sleeping. Isn't that every 1 month old's routine?! The routine thing isn't all that alarming - it comes naturally to 99% of parents. You tend to do things in the same order, whether conscience of it or not.
The two others.....eh. The first one - a bit much. 1-2X/night. Only for the miracle babies, like Joey, that sleep 12 hrs/night at 8 weeks old and never look back. For most others, STTN at 1 month old is a bit of a stretch.
The other suggestion - lay down while drowsy but awake is KEY advice IMO. I think it's one of the main factors in a baby STTN on their own.
Now, as a new mom, if I had a newborn that was still waking 5 times a night at 1 month old, only slept in my arms (typical) and screamed their bloody head off, even if being put down drowsy but awake, I might second guess myself if handed this information. But did they say "Here are our expectations for a 1 month old?" Or was it more like "At 1 month old, this is where baby should be/what we suggest." There is a difference there, and I know your take on this topic....and your interpretation might be slightly skewed d/t your thoughts on this. You are the "anti-my kid will sleep in a crib, on their own, through the night, as early as possible" mom.
At any rate, I just don't think these things - as you know - can be taken so literal.
It was like 'here's what to expect/what we suggest'. It's not like I found it offensive or anything. Just kind of amusing and foreign
K is v. happy like. But I don't know. She's kind of like a 5th limb right now and I think most babies are until 3 mos ish? That's what I was wondering...
Scarlett is still a 5th limb at 9.5m old, even though she sleeps great, naps well, and has a routine.
It's just her personality. We call her the little koala bear b/c she's always clinging to me.--*/-//
Trust me when I tell you, you will be able to say this when she's 5 too!
NOOOOOOOOOOOO, Jodi!!!! If she's awake, she's up my ass. Sometimes I ask her if she'd like to crawl back in my c/s scar.
I guess when she's 5 it won't be so bad. It'll be bad when she's like 20. By then she'll probably want nothing to do with me though, right???
weeks 0-3 was in our room/pnp
weeks 3-8. Baby in pnp in living room. DH slept on couch from 10-3, I slept on couch from 3-9....whoever was on the couch got baby every time they woke, the other person slept soundly in the bedroom alone.
Starting with week 8, we did a nightly bath/wipedown, read and rocked, and bed. At first he needed to almost fall asleep in swing and then be transferred, then gradually less time in swing.
To this day, he still gets nightly bath, rock and read, and bed.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
I think it's probably more like "goals" or guidelines for first-time moms...which for me would have been helpful because I had no idea what a baby "should" be doing. Like when DS #1 was born, I had no clue what a baby's nap schedule should be like. I read Healthy Sleep Habits and was shocked they needed to be going down for that morning nap like 1-2 hours after waking (of course this is closer to 4-6 months of age I'm talking about, just an example). Anyway, so that kind of guideline as to what a one month old "can handle" possibly starting to sleep through the night would have been helpful, I guess.
That said, DD is 11 weeks old, but has been sleeing through the night probably since at least 1 month, maybe even earlier. Seriously, not sure how I got such a great sleeper this time! I was up with the boys 2-3 times a night for several months at least. I actually remember how they stayed up with me until I went to bed around 11pm until about 2 months old and was sad when DD truly seemed to want/need an earlier 8-9pm bedtime as early as 3 weeks old!
Sounds like you've got it all under control though
Charlotte Ella 07.16.10
Emmeline Grace 03.27.13
I was up 2-3 times with B in an hour. If I was lucky.
Seriously, goal, expectation, whatever it sucks.
By 1 month mine had a routine, I guess.
I put him down by 8 and he woke once per night, anywhere between 12 and 4am. Then was up for the morning by 6:30ish. He started STTN by 3.5 months. I had an easy baby and didn't nurse though.
If a doc said that to me after child #1, I would have nodded, said "yep, I'm an awesome mom, that is right where we are!" and patted myself on the back. I really thought her temperament was from my awesome parenting...psssshaw...then I had child #2
If the doc said that to me after child #2, I would have burst into tears, cried a nasty sob sob cry and said my child hates me and all she does is cry. Seriously..there was NO WAY we could have a "routine" for her and she was awake ALL night unless sleeping on us..even then it was a few times a night.
There is just NO WAY that a doctor can possibly expect EVERY single kid to do the EXACT same thing. I mean, unless the doc does not have any kids....or only has a child like my first??? Who knows. Its a bit ridiculous to have those expectations, or to tell parents that their child SHOULD do those things, because there is NO way Audrey would have slept like that.....ever.
And honestly, if it really was that easy after 4 weeks, then why wouldn't maternity leave be over after a month.....6 weeks is even too short, if you ask me. I took 10 weeks with each kid and still felt like I was in a fog when I went back to work.