Husband Overnight @ Hospital?

kylayton · June 2011

I was shocked today when my mom said that my dad never slept over at the hospital when she had her babies. She was always fine with him going home at night and coming back in the morning. I always assumed I would want my husband with me overnight. What are your plans/thoughts/opinions?

tiffymama · June 2011

I want hubby to stay with me. I hate staying at hospitals, I would never want to do it alone.

Carrie3102 · June 2011

My hubby will stay... my parents will let our dog out. I too hate being in the hospital and would want him there with me.

lageorgiapaperie · June 2011

DH better not leave me! We both just expect him to stay the night.

kathryn02 · June 2011

He better stay with me. Now if he is really tired I can see letting him go to his mom's (she lives like 5 min. from the hospital) and take a nap, but this would be during the day when I know my mom or someon else would be around. Of course I don't see him wanting to do be away from me or the baby, but if he really needed to that is his only option

Qmommy · June 2011

It wasn't common practice back then. Now the mother baby rooms have chairs that fold out to beds for the daddy's. My DH stayed with me the whole time and we were there from Thursday night until Sunday afternoon (delivered Friday night).

He will stay with me through labor and delivery but depending on the time of day I deliver he may go home to take care of my DD after the baby is born. If the baby is born in the evening or night he'll stay.

dottymobo · June 2011

I would have been outraged if DH thought about going home. Keep in mind, though, when we were babies most of us went to the nursery for the night anyways, and now it seems like most places really push rooming in.

I'm actually not sure how things will go this time with current DS. It's still pretty crazy to imagine DH NOT staying, but I have to look into what the rules are for DS being there, and to hope that my parents can be in town when I have to go to the hospital, because we have no one here that could watch DS. Esp since it will likely be about Christmas when I go!

ETA: Our labor room had a nice couch, and our mother baby room had a queen or king bed and couch and glider and private bathroom, etc. It made it very very easy for DH to stay.

rubyjem00 · June 2011

I would want him to stay at the hospital with me. However, I also feel like it is wasn't that common years ago.

The hospital where I am giving birth has a pull out bed for anyone who wants to stay the night. If DH wanted to go home, I think I would be ok with that. But I know him and I know that he won't leave my side if he doesn't have to.

kwcw · June 2011

DH stayed with me, we had our own room with a pull out couch for him and a nice private bath. I am so glad he did because although the epi failed during my delivery, my leg was numb for about 12 hours after so I needed his help to get up and go to the bathroom.

Cherryblossoms07 · June 2011

I told DH he could go home if he wanted after DD was born. There was no need for both of us not getting any sleep after DD was born. The nurses came in every couple of hours to check on my blood pressure and other stats. Plus, the only thing they had for DH was a very uncomfortable looking fold out chair. That being said DH chose to stay the first night with DD and then went home every night after that. He returned during the day and we only live a few minutes from the hospital. I was in the hospital for 3 nights.

This time around DH will definitely be going home because we have DD.

getnmarried910 · June 2011

DH stayed with me for our first and third. For our second, our daughter wasn't even 13 months old yet, and she'd been with someone else all day long when she was used to me being home with her, so we thought it'd be best for him to stay home with her. With our third, our kids went to stay with friends of ours, so DH stayed with me. With this one, we'll see. DD2 doesn't go to sleep for anyone but us. We have tried to leave them with a sitter late at night and she screams and screams, till they call us and we tellthem to hold her till we get home. I'm hoping that stage will pass, but either DH will go home to stay with the kids, or he'll run home and put her to bed and come back. We live less than a mile from the hospital, so either would work out just fine. I want him to stay with me, but I want to do what is best for my kids too. I know the older two will be fine, it's the youngest I'm worried about. I also know if he goes home and gets a good night's sleep, I'll get more naps when we're home before he goes back to work!!!

alieb82 · June 2011

Hubby is definitely staying overnight while I'm at the hospital, I'll be so nervous if I'm left alone!

hisbeautyalways · June 2011

My DH will be staying with me at the hospital, but he's going to make trips home to check on the pets. Feed them, scoop litter, let the dog out. We have 4 cats, 1 dog, 2 rats and a 55 gallon aquarium for him to tend to.

Luckily we're pretty close to the hospital.

2gr8pits · June 2011

I already told my husband that he can go home to sleep and let the dogs out and keep their life as normal as possible, unless he wants to stay. I figure there's no reason that both of us need to stay at the hospital and be woken up every few hours. If he sleeps then I figure he can let me sleep once we are home. My friend actually had her baby last year right after midnight (she went in around 9pm) and was released the following day at 6pm, so she didn't stay any nights in the hospital! My insurance covers 24 hours, so that may not be an overnight...this is not something I will stress over

nahokulele · June 2011

I was in the hospital last year with shingles and staph, and even then DH stayed over night with me for each of the two nights! And that was a week before our wedding!! So I think it's a pretty safe bet that he'll stay with me when we have our little bebe. He spoils me and I love it. Big Smile

sagoon · June 2011

Mine will be staying. My MIL was telling me about how when my SIL was born, they sent my FIL home because they expected it to take longer and he missed the birth of his daughter. She said he refused to even leave the room when she had my husband a couple of years later.

partyg1rl · June 2011

Honestly, DH has OCD and he was cleaning and moving things around constantly when we were in the hospital the first time! (even the nurses had to ask him to stop moving things on them) He wouldn't sit down for more than 10 mins at a time! I was so annoyed that if he wants to go home this time I'm fine with it! (Also this time around I have a better idea of what to expect, having done it once before. That's not to say that it won't be different this time around)

Ljojo · June 2011

DH went home both times. There is no need for both of us to be exhausted and those fold out chairs are NOT comfortable. I liked having my little bonding time with my DD's those first couple of nights.

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Leap08 · June 2011

My husband stayed every night after our daughter was born - thank God. I had a c-section and wasn't moving all that great, and at our hospital the baby stays in your room. I needed him there to help me take care of her. I really hope this time he's able to stay. It kind of depends on how quickly someone (my mom) can get here to stay with our daughter.

DiademChi · June 2011

DH is very adamant about not leaving me. He hates sleeping apart from me, even if it's just a room over. The hospital we are using has pull-out sofa beds for the fathers, so we're set.

gina_bo_bena · June 2011

2gr8pits:
I already told my husband that he can go home to sleep and let the dogs out and keep their life as normal as possible, unless he wants to stay. I figure there's no reason that both of us need to stay at the hospital and be woken up every few hours. If he sleeps then I figure he can let me sleep once we are home. My friend actually had her baby last year right after midnight (she went in around 9pm) and was released the following day at 6pm, so she didn't stay any nights in the hospital! My insurance covers 24 hours, so that may not be an overnight...this is not something I will stress over

This. Barring complications, I don't think I would mind DH going home at night. But as I've never done this before, who knows how I'll actually feel once the time comes.

PandaMom06 · June 2011

DH stayed with me the entire time with DD and we've already discussed him staying this time. When I asked him if he was going to go home at night he was like "Why would I do that?". DD doesn't have any problems going to sleep for MIL or SIL and they both love when they get to keep her overnight, so whoever she ends up with will end up having a "sleepover" lol. (She's only stayed away from us 2 nights so far, each had her one. 1st time I had to work really early and DH's boss scheduled him at the same time, 2nd time DH was working nights and I had the flu).

iluvmylab · June 2011

I will probably send DH home to sleep. He will have to go back to work ASAP, so there's no need for both of us to be exhausted. He'll probably want to stay though.

MrsT624 · June 2011

When I had DD, I made him stay with me. I think I am going to send him home this time, though. I'm pretty sure DD will be with my parents at our house, so it would be nice for him to be home when she wakes up, etc.

alexvause · June 2011

Yes mine will be staying with me, no question. Our house is also 5 minutes from the hospital so if he has to run home for something during that time he can and come right back

Mass-girl-at-heart · June 2011

DH stayed the first night but had to leave because I got a roommate. It sucked but wasn't the end of the world.

This time I am sure he will go home to be with DD.

Mye · June 2011

IDK, if there isnt a decent place for my husband to sleep i rather he go home and come back in the morning

our house is only 10-15 minutes away

ZeusLBA · June 2011

We haven't talked about it yet. I will need to check with teh hospital though because my sister in law just had a baby and a different hospital and they told her the only way my brother could stay was if she had a private room which costs $800 per night!

buttercup1221 · June 2011

The hospital won't actually let DH or any over night guests stay since they don't have private rooms. So even though I want him to stay, we don't have a choice.

chankins14 · June 2011

My husband went home the first night & I hated it and didn't let him go home at night again.

This time I'm not sure. It will depend on how long I have to be in the hospital. I was in the hospital for 5 days last time & if that happens again, he will have to go home. I don't want DS to be out of his home that long. DS will be at my mom's house when I go to the hospital. If I can get out of the hospital in 2 days or less, DH will stay with me.

HL1626 · June 2011

I just realized that I have not asked DH what he would like to do. This will be our first together. As of right now I could care less if he stays or not. I guess it would all depend on when I deliver. We have 3 kids at home that are all in school. So I would guess if it during the week, he would go home to be with them. If its on a weekend he might stay. I know my ob will release me 24 hrs after deliverying so if he doesn't stay its not a big deal. Honestly I would rather be alone and have some peace and quiet. This happened with DD2 and I loved it!

TonyaCody06 · June 2011

DH stayed with me for #1 and tried to stay with my for #2 but the 1st night at the hospital with #2 my #1 got a fever so he went home to take care of her plus I felt like I could handle it since I had been through it all before. He felt bad for leaving me but I wanted him caring for our febrile toddler rather than my mom.

UAbride31007 · June 2011

I want my DH to stay and I think he will but I could also see him going home after the first night. We only live 15 min away. We haven't toured the hospital yet so I'm not sure what the accommodations are like. However, it's a top 10 University hospital and they are opening their brand-new L&D/Birthing Center in November so I imagine it'll be pretty nice.

lilwildthing · June 2011

DH went home after DS was born. It just made more sense. No reason for us both to be sleepless. There really wasn't a place for him to sleep anyways. I'm sure we'll do the same this time, especially now that we have DS to think about. He has never spent the night away from us before.

uncharch7 · June 2011

I will tell him he has the option to go home. No sense in both of us getting crappy sleep. He will need to go at some point to let the dog out, but my guess is he will stay with me... he will insist.

JNicMTek · June 2011

I wanted H to spend the whole time I was in the hospital with me with DD. However, she was transferred out of state to a higher level NICU, and I had a bad hemorrage so I had to stay in the hospital I was already in. I ended up spending the time alone. Not ideal, but I'd rather he was with our baby than with me.

This time around, I'm not sure. I'll wait and see how we feel, whether we want him home with DD to help her get used to things, or have DD stay with a grandparent and him stay at the hospital.

MrsT2008 · June 2011

I think he'll want to stay, but to be honest, one the baby is already born, I wouldn't mind if he wanted to go sleep at home. Our hospital has private postpartum rooms with a cot-type bed for the dads, but I've seen them and it doesn't look super comfy.

I'm sure I'm going to need him well-rested, so any good night's sleep he can get, I'll take it!

dottymobo · June 2011

I must be a selfish jerk, but I read all of the "one of us should get a good night's sleep" posts and I think hell no is my husband going to go home and sleep while I who just went through who knows how many hours labor and GAVE BIRTH stays up most of the night taking care of our brand-new newborn. Sure, only I can nurse, but DH can and should do other stuff, IMO. The person without crotch stitches can change diapers and bring the kid to me to nurse and take turns holding the sleepless kid and bring me ice diapers, TYVM. That's why there's two of us.

getnmarried910 · June 2011

buttercup1221:
The hospital won't actually let DH or any over night guests stay since they don't have private rooms. So even though I want him to stay, we don't have a choice.

Our hospital labels the rooms semi-private so they are covered by insurance, but they only move a second bed into them if they absolutely have to pair people up.

capulet · June 2011

DH stayed with me all four nights when I had DD (I had a c-section). I think he just had a couch to sleep on so it wasn't especially comfortable, but certainly the first night or two I can't imagine not having had him there - even though DD went to the nursery a few hours each night, I had just been through emergency surgery and it was good to have the company. Also, we didn't live more than 15-20 minutes from the hospital, but I think it would have been a pain for him to get the car in and out of the garage. This time I think I still want him there the whole time. DD will be staying close by with my ILs whom she stays with all the time, and I'm sure they will all be visiting during the day anyway, so I'm not so worried about her, and I'm hoping the couches/cots at this hospital will be comfier. But maybe this time I will feel comfortable letting him go home if he needs the rest after the first night.

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