OB appointment/ comment/ Vent

NiniJ55 · June 2011

So I was at my first OB appointment since graduating from my RE. The nurse made some type of comment saying how happy she was to see me here again (she knows my background). Anyway -- The patient sitting next to me in the waiting room says "you are lucky it was so easy for you"....

um, okay - you don't know anything about me. The nurse gave me a look and I decided just to leave it alone, I did not feel like putting my business out there. I felt the comment was completely inappropriate because you really don't know what a person went through to get where they are at. I just hate people who make assumptions.

Okay -- vent over... I have been thinking of this the whole week... LOL.

KYRN · June 2011

That's really sucky. If it isn't easy for her then she of all people should never assume anyone else is fertile. I probably wouldn't have said anything either but would have been tempted to say "what makes you think it was easy for me?"

I hope your appointment went well.

Sunshine05 · June 2011

Wow, I'm not sure I would have been able to keep my mouth shut if I were you. I would have gone into explicit detail of your journey. That would teach her to ever say something like that to someone she doesn't even know. lol

Yellow_Daisy · June 2011

I would have said something about what you had been through, mostly because if someone feels so down that they will say that to a stranger in a docs waiting room they're probably really struggling and may have been comforted by hearing your story. Not that she was right to make the comment or to assume it was easy, but god I know how many times I walked into my OB's office over the 6 yrs we were TTC and looked around and thought why can't that be me? I never had the nerve to say it out loud, but I know I thought what she said all the while knowing that all those women could be IFers. I imagine she was where many of us have been hitting rock bottom, it actually makes me sad to think of what she could be going through that would make her so brazenly outspoken.

Sorry to ramble, but it really makes my heart hurt for IFers when I hear things like this.

lyse2143 · June 2011

If that was me, I wouldn't have been able to help myself. I would have looked her in the eyes and said yeah, if you count a year and half of trying, 3 very early m/c, a surgery for both myself and my husband that were both pointless, 2 rounds of IVF and more shots and blood draws than I can count easy, then sure, it was pretty freakin easy.

NiniJ55 · June 2011

Yellow_Daisy:

I would have said something about what you had been through, mostly because if someone feels so down that they will say that to a stranger in a docs waiting room they're probably really struggling and may have been comforted by hearing your story. Not that she was right to make the comment or to assume it was easy, but god I know how many times I walked into my OB's office over the 6 yrs we were TTC and looked around and thought why can't that be me? I never had the nerve to say it out loud, but I know I thought what she said all the while knowing that all those women could be IFers. I imagine she was where many of us have been hitting rock bottom, it actually makes me sad to think of what she could be going through that would make her so brazenly outspoken.

Sorry to ramble, but it really makes my heart hurt for IFers when I hear things like this.

awe man -- now I feel bad Embarrassed . I just felt irritated by her comment and the "side eye" she was giving me-- for some reason it never crossed my mind that she might be going through something. I was never rude like that -- I might have said "you are so blessed" but I would never assume it was easy for a person. **sigh**

matt'sbride · June 2011

Ugh, I'm sorry this has been on your mind all week. I hate it when people just assume that they know exactly what another person is all about. I'm really big on believing that you NEVER know what someone is dealing with on any given day.

I'm sorry she wasn't more considerate, but I'm glad you were able to be the bigger person...go you!

Yellow_Daisy · June 2011

NiniJ55:
Yellow_Daisy:

I would have said something about what you had been through, mostly because if someone feels so down that they will say that to a stranger in a docs waiting room they're probably really struggling and may have been comforted by hearing your story. Not that she was right to make the comment or to assume it was easy, but god I know how many times I walked into my OB's office over the 6 yrs we were TTC and looked around and thought why can't that be me? I never had the nerve to say it out loud, but I know I thought what she said all the while knowing that all those women could be IFers. I imagine she was where many of us have been hitting rock bottom, it actually makes me sad to think of what she could be going through that would make her so brazenly outspoken.

Sorry to ramble, but it really makes my heart hurt for IFers when I hear things like this.

awe man -- now I feel bad . I just felt irritated by her comment and the "side eye" she was giving me-- for some reason it never crossed my mind that she might be going through something. I was never rude like that -- I might have said "you are so blessed" but I would never assume it was easy for a person. **sigh**

Don't feel bad. That was just the first thing that crossed my mind when I read what she said. I doubt someone who wasn't struggling to get PG or going through IF would say something like that, so it just made me think that she had to be somewhere bad to be that outspoken. It was rude of her regardless and it would definitely have caught me off guard, I don't think your reaction was abnormal though.

Blessed1010 · June 2011

I did't read the other comments because I fear being influened by the other responses. I'm sure I'll be in the minority.

She was pretentious, you're right. However, I feel for her. 3 years of TTC, 2 miscarriages, 8 failed IUI's, an ectopic pregnancy, and 1 failed IVF have changed my life. I have become more sympathetic and empathetic towards others. I remember those days when I would look or talk to a pregnant woman and while I was happy for her and silently celebrating her joy I couldn't help but feel shame. I couldn't help, but feel as though my body didn't work and theirs did.

She's in pain. She longs to have what you have been blessed with. It hurts.

bbakersgirl75 · June 2011

What a crappy comment: I wouldn't have held my tounge though!

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