Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: parents with more than one child
So far I only have one child, so I am no expert, but this is how I think I would handle your situation.
In our case, we have always let our DD get roughed up a bit (but usually at her own hand). I think the first time I ever saw DD fall into a table, I had a huge reaction and DD burst into tears. That was the last time I ever reacted to a cry, scrape, fall, etc. As a result, DD is a really tough little kid. She can get knocked down HARD and just jumps right back up, rubs whatever hurts and keeps on going. Our babysitter always comments on how she has never seen a 2 year old keep uyp so well with the older kids. DD gets right in the thick of things and does whatever the 3&4 year olds are doing.
So I wouldn't worry about your DD getting knocked down so much.
On the other hand, we do NOT tolerate meaness. We do not allow DD to push or hit our dogs and we would not tolerate another child blatantly pushing DD down. That would definitely get a correction. When my niece and nephew are over, I am responsible for watching them. So when I see meaness, either mean words or mean actions, I correct it 100% of the time. But a child pushing another child is a whole lot different from two kids just getting exuberant while they play and running into each other. If it were truly an accident, I would comfort the younger child but let them know it was just an accident and that they should just rub it off. I would also remind the older child gently to be careful but not in a reprimanding tone. It's a fine line.
I don't think that she should get used to it and you should learn. Playing and taking toys away is one thing, that's something that most kids do. Running into her, knocking her down or pushing her is not OK.
I teach my 3.5 y.o. to be gentle with his l6 months old ittle brother and his 2 week old cousin. He knows they are babies and he needs to be careful around them.
I just have one kid, but my nephew is a year younger than DD and I my neighbor is one year older and I often have them over.
I think because the age (and size) difference is so great and your nephew is 4, not 2, that I would correct him if he knocked down my 1 year old. My DD is 2 and the neighbor is exactly a year older. We set the expectation that he is not to physically hurt her (something he will commonly do with kids his own size and age). He fully understands this and seldom does it anymore. I think a 4 year old is more than capable of understanding this.
My DD is the same size as my nephew who is a year younger, but even she gets that he is a baby and she has to share with him and be nice to him.
Hi
My son is 23 months older than his sister and I couldn't ask for a better relationship between the two. HOWEVER...
He will make just a MOTION to kick, bit or hit and he gets a timeout. He hardly ever does it anymore and he has NEVER connected.
We already encourage sharing so that DD is involved in doing stickers, coloring and everything. He puts stickers on her chair or excersaucer etc.
He is very proud that he teaches her things like rolling over and talking and singing. They now sit together in her crib in the morning or play together in the pack and play.
When I brought the baby home it was HIS baby. We had always looked at baby pictures in magazines before I had the baby so he was SO EXCITED when he had his own.
It will be fine -- and I will say at just 6 months it's easier with two than it was with one!
Good luck!
Flem,
We are the same when it comes to DD mostly. She started walking at 7 months and so we learned to let her fall. She still falls a lot. She goes to daycare 20 hours a week and gets to play outside with the bigger kids and has fallen on blacktop and gotten her head bruised many times. I don't worry about her getting knocked down anymore really. I guess it is just that to me, I had this notion that we're supposed to teach kids to play nice together and everything. What I'm hearing from everyone is though is that they won't always be nice and that has to be okay. You are right. It is a fine line and I guess I'll learn through trial and error(just like we've learned everything about DD. lol)
At 4 your nephew should know that your daughter is smaller and he should not be taking things from her. Letting it go is allowing him to be a bully. When he starts school this won't fly so it should be corrected now. I think you are handling the situation very well.
Yes. We go through this and its a bit different with siblings and being 2 yrs apart. My rule is that all the toys are shared. And if you don't share, it becomes mommy's toy. My discipline approach doesn't really work for you.
Yes, your nephew needs to learn how to share but I think he needs to hear it from his parents and not from you.