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SIL is OBSESSED with DS (vent)

BabaloniaBabalonia member
in Babies: 0 - 3 Months

DH's family is very small and they only have two "little" kids (nephews) in the family and they are already 13-11..Needless to say DS is the first baby to come along in their family for 11 years.  Well his one sister is driving me insane. She calls constantly, drops by all the time for stupid reasons just to see DS.

She is obsessed with him getting "fat" as she calls it..she loves it. Everytime she comes over she's like "His face is SO FAT!" and they other day she whipped out her camera to take pictures of his FEET..then she says to me "Oh I already have a picture of his feet on my cell phone" I'm like "HUHHHHHH??"

She has no kids and is a little child like herself. We had her watch DS for 2 hrs the one night and she almost couldn't handle it. When she stops over and I'm feeding DS or if he's having a screaming fit she just STARES at me with this look on her face..

Anyway I just had to vent!

 

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Re: SIL is OBSESSED with DS (vent)

  • AllerielleAllerielle
    Maybe the next time she 'drops by' you can politely and kindly explain to her that this isnt a good time. Let her know when another time would be more convenient for you. I'm real funny about people invading my personal space so I had no difficulty in telling people to Go Home and return at a later time. Having random people just stop by (especially when I'd just gotten the baby to sleep and was going to lay down myself) was very stressful to me. It doesnt make you mean, it makes you smart for setting personal boundaries. I was also rather vexed by the 'pet the puppy' attitude I got from certain family members. They just wanted to come over and hold the baby for a little while then leave. I'm of the mind set that if you are going to come over, you do work. Fold the laundry, do the dishes, bring a meal, I dont care what you do but you darn sure arent going to disrupt my day just so you can pet the puppy.
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  • LynsiBHMLynsiBHM

    imageAllerielle:
    Maybe the next time she 'drops by' you can politely and kindly explain to her that this isnt a good time. Let her know when another time would be more convenient for you. I'm real funny about people invading my personal space so I had no difficulty in telling people to Go Home and return at a later time. Having random people just stop by (especially when I'd just gotten the baby to sleep and was going to lay down myself) was very stressful to me. It doesnt make you mean, it makes you smart for setting personal boundaries. I was also rather vexed by the 'pet the puppy' attitude I got from certain family members. They just wanted to come over and hold the baby for a little while then leave. I'm of the mind set that if you are going to come over, you do work. Fold the laundry, do the dishes, bring a meal, I dont care what you do but you darn sure arent going to disrupt my day just so you can pet the puppy.

     

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  • nicolen0618nicolen0618 member
    imageLynsiBHM:

    imageAllerielle:
    Maybe the next time she 'drops by' you can politely and kindly explain to her that this isnt a good time. Let her know when another time would be more convenient for you. I'm real funny about people invading my personal space so I had no difficulty in telling people to Go Home and return at a later time. Having random people just stop by (especially when I'd just gotten the baby to sleep and was going to lay down myself) was very stressful to me. It doesnt make you mean, it makes you smart for setting personal boundaries. I was also rather vexed by the 'pet the puppy' attitude I got from certain family members. They just wanted to come over and hold the baby for a little while then leave. I'm of the mind set that if you are going to come over, you do work. Fold the laundry, do the dishes, bring a meal, I dont care what you do but you darn sure arent going to disrupt my day just so you can pet the puppy.

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  • katiewhompuskatiewhompus member

    Lurker here (for a little bit longer anyway) but I love the "pet the puppy" term. That is totally describing my H's family, or how I anticipate them to act.

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  • AllerielleAllerielle

    Pet the puppy will accurately describe at least 75% of your visitors following delivery. They mean well, really they do but for me, I was like, "I just gave birth to my first child via c-section. Really people? REALLY?" The males didnt bother me, because the ones visiting werent what anyone would describe as 'sensitive' but the other mothers who showed up, held the baby, then left were absolutely killing me. I could have been sleeping or doing any of the multitude of chores that needed to be taken care of. Hell, who am I kidding? I totally would have been sleeping. But no, instead I was entertaining people daily for an hour or two at a time without them even offering to pitch in or change a diaper. After the third day I put my foot down and it was the best thing I ever did.

     The biggest favor you can do for you, your baby and the father is to say, "How about another time" or "We'd love to see you! I could really use another set of hands to help out with [insert chore here]!"

     

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  • justme04justme04 member
    imageAllerielle:

    Pet the puppy will accurately describe at least 75% of your visitors following delivery. They mean well, really they do but for me, I was like, "I just gave birth to my first child via c-section. Really people? REALLY?" The males didnt bother me, because the ones visiting werent what anyone would describe as 'sensitive' but the other mothers who showed up, held the baby, then left were absolutely killing me. I could have been sleeping or doing any of the multitude of chores that needed to be taken care of. Hell, who am I kidding? I totally would have been sleeping. But no, instead I was entertaining people daily for an hour or two at a time without them even offering to pitch in or change a diaper. After the third day I put my foot down and it was the best thing I ever did.

     The biggest favor you can do for you, your baby and the father is to say, "How about another time" or "We'd love to see you! I could really use another set of hands to help out with [insert chore here]!"

     

    When DS 1 was born I had no problem locking the door and ignoring any knocks or just sending people away.  I'm so glad we live 2 hours away from family this time so DH and I actually get the all the alone time we want with our LOs.  Although my 20 year old sister is staying with us to "help" me and I would really love for her to just go home....but I have another week of lifting restrictions because of my tearing.

    Not that my sister has done a lot of "helping" just laying around playing on her nintendo ds, netbook or forever talking to her online boyfriend whom she has never met!  I hate when people are around to "help" and then do nothing and give you attitude when you do inisist they get off their a$$es and do something.

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  • Angel2416Angel2416

    My SIL is crazy too. I'm glad I am not the only one dealing with SIL issues. She doesn't handle chfreanges in her life very well. When DH and I told her we were pregnant her BF had just broken up with her. She freaked out believing that she should have been the sibling to have children first. She basically hates my guts because I am married and now had my first child in my late 20's and she is 31 and single. Really not my fault or my problem!!! Yet she manages to take all of her depression out on me. UGH!

     Since my DS was born she wants to give me all of this advice and tell me how to do things, EXCUSE ME?!???!!! You don't have any kids. Plus she tells me how she is taking DS here and there and they will go do this and that. Umm, how about asking my permission. I am his mother. Last time I checked I birthed him. Stupid *itch!

     OK. Thanks. Vent over.

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  • Leila'sMommyLeila'sMommy

    Ugh, I know exactly what you're going through. DH has a cousin who has no children, and when DD was born, for the first FOUR MONTHS, every f*@#*( weekend, she was over at our place to visit. She had never, ever wanted to hang out before I had DD. But all of the sudden, we had a cute little baby that she just had to take pictures of.

    I had a rough recovery from my c-section, and was pretty out of it, and didn't realize until I started thinking about it that, yeah, she was over all the freaking time. And she just sat on our couch holding our DD, not offering to make dinner or help out with chores.

    Once DD started crawling and was no longer a newborn, the cousin kind of lost interest, thank goodness. It was so invasive. If I were ever to have another baby, the rule would be - if you want to see the baby, you offer to bring a meal or do some laundry or dishes.

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