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August 2011 Moms
~*~Unpopular Opinions~*~
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Re: ~*~Unpopular Opinions~*~
Apparently this is an unpopular opinion here in August but I LOVE reality tv. I can't help it, I'm hooked! I watch most of the Real Housewives (NJ is currently my favorite) and can't WAIT for big brother to start to get me through the summer.
The Bachelorette is annoying to me right now, but alas...I still am watching.
I know there has to be some girls out there that love it with me!
I love reality tv! I don't really care for the housewives but I am all about some Kardashians!
#3 BFP 11/17/12 EDD 8/5/13 Born 8/4/13
#4 BFP 1/26/14 EDD 09/29/14 Born 10/01/14
I may not like reality TV but I'm certainly not a TV elitist of some sort - I watch Gossip Girl! haha
My Blog - Taking You Home
my UO
My parents adopted a child a few months back and I am completely disgusted by the things people say when I tell them about my new brother.
First of all, I told one of my best friends that my parents still had contact with the first family and that they visit every once in a while. She completely flew off the handle said it was messed up, confusing for the child and just wrong, and that if she ever adopted she would have NO contact with the birth family no matter their wishes.
I think this is incredibly selfish and while adopting a child makes the kid legally yours, you have a responsibility to that child to acknowledge that they do have another family. I would even go so far as to say that if the birth family have no major issues that it is your responsibility to have a relationship with the family so long as the child and birth parents want the same thing. I don't understand what is so wrong with having extra people in your life that care about you.
Also, the things people say regarding the birth mother's reproductive choices are absolutely appalling. I've told people that my brother has bio siblings and they sound off with a "God, has she ever heard of birth control/ Disgusting that she would abandon one child but keep the others/ Well thank God she had the sense to put the baby up for adoption, one less kid my taxes go toward"
This type of thing has made me reevaluate my relationships with many people close to me.
I'm currently addicted to both lol! But they should NOT call it reality TV. It's trashy and doesn't make me an upstanding citizen by watching it, but everyone has their vices
I don't consider most "reality" TV real. I loved what Jason Sudeikis said at the MTV movie awards ?Of course MTV Stands for Music Television, in case you forgot. I?m talking to you MTV Producers." Especially after hearing Teen Mom Amber makes 6 figures for her time on the show and appearances. I refuse to believe any of those girls are struggling any longer.
I do, however, love Big Brother and Biggest Loser.
Speaking of the MTV movie awards: I hate Twilight and I loved that Robert Pattinson sounded like he was half mocking the series. I've read the books (terribly written) and have seen the movies because my sister is a huge fan so I'm not basing this off of hearsay. I'll always have a soft spot for Rob because he was originally in Harry Potter but that little Kristen Stewart is a TERRIBLE actress! He'll continue to work (already is, Water for Elephants!) but I hope she falls off the face of the planet.
Ughh this will be my SS's mother in 6 months. She has 2 other kids, my stepson (8yo) and his half sister(3yo), and now a 3rd on the way (3 kids, 3 different dads). Her new husband has 3 kids (1 he never sees, 2 with another woman). They live off of as much government assistance as they can get so I guess this new baby is just going to be a way for more welfare $$. I cant even imagine the crap we will hear her whine and complain about when their new baby arrives, she has already been whining about her pregnancy since the day she found out. She hasnt been able to take care of her first 2 kids, let alone one that she will actually be responsible for 24/7. It makes me wonder who will take care of this one eventually, her husband isnt much of a dad to begin with and she definitely wont be as lucky as she was with MH and her other baby's dad. They are 2 men that are completely 100% involved in all aspects of their kids lives and support them financially 100% as well. Sorry for the rant, I am done now.
1. What reason? Why in your opinion should it take 7-20 years and thousands of dollars to become a US citizen? I don't get this. Do you know anything about the citizenship process? What did you do to prove being worthy of your citizenship?
2. Your rant is absolutely untrue, the gov does not hand out money like there is no end. Welfare benefits don't even bring most to the poverty line. What kind of disposible income do you think people living below poverty level have, and why do you think they should be able to afford a $50-$100 drug test with no issue? Also, the majority of people on AFDC, for example, continue those benefits for less than two years. In fact 1/5 of people who are on AFDC are off of it in less than 7 months. so this "sit and do nothing all day and then use MY money to buy drugs line" is for the most part untrue.
I totally agree! they creep me out and i think they are so vain. You aren't the first pregnant woman on the planet, we know what a pregnant belly looks like. Plus, does your kid really want to see that 20 years from now? It's just weird. i don't know who started that trend. The ones with the DH is the pic? my DH would laugh through the whole thing!
I agree too!! Also, the people who continue to have children who can't afford them! there is a girl on my facebook page who is pregnant with her third kid. She doesn't work because she's constantly updating facebook about how bored her kids are, and i'm pretty sure she's not supporting them on her own without government assistance bceause she didn't graduate from HS. GET A JOB!
O thank god! I thought I might be in the minority on this one. I see so many of them around here and every time I see them I can't help but kind of giggle about them. Yes some of them are tasteful and nice, like the really artsy ones but again like you said its kind of vain and for me, not really someone I want to spend a lot of money to document haha. I have my weekly bump pictures and some pictures from my showers and a wedding I went to. Thats enough for me. I don't think my LO is going to care to see some half naked picture of my bare, large, stretch mark covered belly, and I think he would probably be even more embarrassed to find out that I posted it all over the internet haha.
My unpopular opinion -
I really don't understand people's obsessions with Facebook. No, I don't care that you just got home from the grocery store. No, I won't help you buy a scarecrow in Farmville. No, I don't want to hear every last detail of how potty training is going.
And, to add to that, I can't stand all the posts regarding so and so posted this on their Facebook and it upset me. Stay off Facebook then or get better friends.
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
Perhaps it's time you delete your FB account?
OK, I'll admit it, I am a reality show junkie! Drives my husband crazy, but I can't help myself. Thank goodness for DVR's, I can watch my shows without him around. ;-)
This is the point i was trying to make. I understand that it is hard and yes we probably need to fix the system but it doesn't matter... its illegal and thats that. I understand wanting a better life for your family and basic human rights blah blah blah but why does that suddenly allow you to break the law? And why does my hard earned money have to go towards providing you with things that I don't get for free? If I have to work for them then you should have to too. Someone else asked what I did to earn my citizenship here.. .well first of all I was born here, I know i was lucky. But since I was born here, my parents have worked and paid taxes and I and my husband have worked and paid taxes..a lot of them! Thats what I did to earn my citizenship. Nothing was handed to me or my parents, or their parents.
I am required to have one for a class I am taking, otherwise I wouldn't have one. Maybe I'm just not as self-involved as other people
Kelly, Mom to Christopher Shannon 9.27.06, Catherine Quinn 2.24.09, Trey Barton lost on 12.28.09, Therese Barton lost on 6.10.10, Joseph Sullivan 7.23.11, and our latest, Victoria Maren 11.15.12
Secondary infertility success with IVF, then two losses, one at 14 weeks and one at 10 weeks, then success with IUI and then just pure, crazy luck. Expecting our fifth in May as the result of a FET.
This Cluttered Life
I totally agree. I hate Facebook for all the reasons you listed. I had a page with tons of "friends," and I ended up deleting it after about six months. My boss made me create a new one to be a "fan" of all of our clients and a "friend" to all of our employees and freelancers. I have something like 18 "friends" now, all professional, and hardly ever use it anymore. I really only use it for things like entering give-a-ways and using the August Moms page.
I am addicted to reality tv
My father came here as a kid and became a citizen, joined the military and fought in Vietnam. My grandfather created a better life for my dad, uncle and grandmother but did it all legally.
I get you want a better life for your kids but do it legally. I work with children and I see parents all too often who know how to work the system.
I'm sad that I'm so late on this post.
I agree with the PP that talked about shower etiquette. I wish that people could just throw the party and get along and not worry about who paid for what and who contributed more and who is going to get the best or "main" hostess gift. I appreciate all of the hostesses equally, and I think it's rude for one of them to try to make sure I know she contributed more money than others.
I try to ask questions and post as well as respond to people's posts. Sometimes all of the unwritten posting "rules" on these boards get to me. I think most of the regulars on this board seem to contribute pretty equally or at least equally enough.
I totally judge people that are against gay marriage and other gay rights. I am completely unable to understand how a gay couple being legally married or adopting a child has anything to do with your life. I just don't get it.
Me!!! ::::raises hand::::: I can't wait for big brother too. It makes the week go by so much faster when I have some trashy tv to look forward to!
I've developed quite a few unpopular opinions as of late... I think I've just been watching too much Carlin :-)
But the most unpopular opinion I've had lately is that we ladies shouldn't have to do Pap smears. I mentioned that to some friends/family and I sh*t you not every woman there exploded with lots of "You absolutely have to!" No, I really don't. It's degrading, inaccurate, and just plain wrong. The risk of getting cervical cancer is very low for most women. The US is the only country that suggests yearly exams after 21. Most other developed countries don't start screening until much later in life (30-40), and then only every 3-7 years. Also, Pap smears have been known to permanently damage the cervix! Doctors have been using fear tactics to scare women into the yearly exam, regardless of their need for it. Why? Because it makes a ton of money!! So, now, I refuse all Pap smears. Planned parenthood allows you to get BC without a pelvic exam if you're low risk for cervical cancer (which most women are).
When I got pregnant, I started to worry that I would be forced into it, regardless of my feelings on the subject. So, I did some research, and come to find out, there's a blood test out there that is much more effective for detecting cervical cancer, and, over time, will completely wipe out the need for the Pap. It's non invasive, non threatening, and much more accurate. But, because Paps make so much money, it'll take longer for the test to become mainstream/widely known.
As an adopted child who has had no contact with her birth family, I completely disagree with you. My family is made up of the people who adopted me, my adopted brother, and the people that we are related to. I don't ever want to know anyone from my biological "family". They are NOT my family, and no one owes them anything.
I'm glad that your parents have found something that works for them, but there are millions of reasons why some people prefer closed adoptions, and it in no way makes them selfish. Imagine having to share the title of "Mommy" for your own child, and maybe you may understand one or two of the reasons.
On a last note, I think my birth mother was a trashy wh0re who used adoption as birth control. She had multiple children by multiple fathers, and my parents had trouble finalizing my adoption because she didn't know who my birth father was. She has at least 3 children by the time she was 19, and was from a well off family in New Orleans. I know not all people are like that; many teenage girls who go through the agony of giving away their babies learn lessons in responsibility, and are truly thankful that their offspring have a chance at better lives. Try to remember that people have different points of reference when forming opinions, and don't be so self-righteous.
Same with me. I try to paint my finger nails a color sometimes, but it chips so fast that it starts to look sloppy in like a day, and I just don't have time to do my nails daily, so I wear clear polish most the time. At least my toes stay looking nice for 1-2 weeks.
DS#1- Born August 2011
I said in my OP that it is ONLY based upon what the child and birth family want. The child makes the final call. I respect you decision to not have contact with your birth family. That is your choice. I don't think it is one adoptive parents should make unless the birth family is toxic somehow. Also, how do you know all of these things about your mother having never met her?
Living in both AZ and So Cal has taught me to be very opinionated on this subject! I knew a girl who was dating, and got pregnant by, and illegal immigrant who STOLE people's identities to work. As in, stole their social security number and got illegal documentation. She was so lucky I never turned his ass in.
I can't stand new technology. Call me old school, but texting someone instead of actually stopping by their home or calling them on the phone to have a REAL conversation is an annoyance of mine.
I also hate that when you go to dinner with friends to catch up, each and every one of them has their cell phone out and they are constantly checking it or texting their husbands/boyfriends. Some are even playing Scrabble.
PUT THE DAMN PHONE AWAY.
/vent
Totally agree.
I'm way late after a long day at work and no one will probably read this, but I just have to weigh in on the immigration comments...I thought this was unpopular opinion day, not uninformed opinion day.
I am an immigrant to this country. I immigrated legally. I was able to do so because I am highly educated and from a rich developed country (Canada), so the process is streamlined for people like me compared to those from poor countries.
Illegal workers do not avoid taxes while using all of our government services. Has anyone tried recently to get any kind of government benefit without producing some form of government-issued ID? Guess what, your Mexican national ID card won't cut it. And in virtually all U.S. states, you can't get identification like a driver's license without proof of legal status.
Yes, there are some services (like primary education) that illegal immigrants do use. But illegal immigrants contribute significantly to our economy: they pay non-income taxes (i.e. sales tax, gas tax etc.), and they contribute in other ways. For example, immigrants help keep consumer prices down in this country by providing low-wage labor. Also, population growth through immigration produces larger than proportional national economic growth. Get rid of illegal immigrants? Get ready to pay significantly more for your groceries, and for the country's long term economic growth to slow even more than it is now.
You think you're entitled to your citizenship because you were born here and your parents paid taxes? Fine. But illegal immigration is not really about citizenship. It's about economic opportunity. The average illegal worker wants to work and make money to send to their families back home, not get a U.S. passport. In addition to your passport, the accident of your birth in the United States means that you will have better opportunities, a higher standard of living, better medical care, a longer life span, healthier babies etc. than the entire developing world. What makes you deserve these things more than a woman born in Mexico or Colombia?
It is absolutely rational for people like PPs to want to protect the economic and legal benefits they enjoy in this country. But these benefits are not protected by outlawing or restricting immigration. In fact, bipartisan research shows that some of the current immigration reform proposals particularly favored by conservatives would have the opposite effect, making us all worse off from both an economic and security perspective (the Cato Institute has some good papers on this point).
I'm positive no one has read this, but I couldn't help myself. Sorry for the rant...
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DS1 born 08.02.11
DS2 born 12.05.13
I read it, and I really appreciate (and agree with) your perspective.
At my last job I was placed in one-on-one contact with a lot of people who are here illegally, and it really challenged the perspective I had at the time towards immigration law. Call me soft-hearted, but it's hard to support immigration laws like the one they just passed in AL when you get to know the families that are adversely affected by them.
For instance: with one family I worked with the father and breadwinner was deported because of his status, leaving his wife and four small children here. They had no way to support themselves and were basically at the mercy of anybody that could help them get on their feet. When I see things like that happen first hand, it really drives home the point to me that SOMETHING needs to change.
I completely agree. I also think that *most* opinions on illegal immigration are rooted deeply in xenophobia and a well thought out and informed response like this won't change any minds, unfortunately.
As an adopted child I also think that cutting the ties with birth parents is the best idea. I am sorry but my feelings are why give the rights away to the child but reap the benefits of being in their life. I think it's pretty crappy.
I didn't know my b-mom until August 2009 when I was 24, I searched her. I REGRET every moment of it. I wish I listened to my parents and left it alone.
Also I have a friend (we were adopted the same time at birth and our parents became friendly) who was adopted and has an open adoption and his birth mom continued to have kids after him and keep them and had a few before him and kept them and he is beyond f*cked up from that.
I read it.. and I agree.