"Fake Infertile"?

yodasmistress · June 2011

*Disclaimer* I see this post has like 50 responses but I didn't read them all.

I think that anyone who meets the clinical definition of infertility can claim the label if they want. (Lucky them, right? LOL.) That said, I think there is a massive spectrum ranging from people who are slightly subfertile all the way to sterile.

I will admit that I have, on occassion, rolled my eyes when someone is bemoaning their trials and tribulations with infertility when they TTC for 15 months, popped some Clomid, did an IUI, had healthy full term twins, then got pregnant unassisted in just a few months the second time around. However, that is coming from a person who has wonky eggs and a husband with wonky sperm and it took us 4+ years, 3 IVFs and traveling across the country to one of the best clinics in the country and using uber cutting edge technology to get KU.

I read blogs of a number of women who make my IF journey look paltry. I think that we all view other's experiences through our own lens. And that's ok. And if someone else thinks that you (or I) are a fake infertile then I think you (or I) should be grateful that you (or I) didn't have such a rough go of it that we have that perspective.

RoxBride · June 2011

I don't care. If someone wants to call themself infertile, I don't care.

Honestly, I am so extremely happy I have a child.

I really can't do much more than count my own little blessing. And be ever so grateful she is here, however she got here.

And also thank my lucky stars that I never faced a point when I was pregnant and didn't want to be, which I think can be just as bad at IF, if not worse.

I wish wish wish I could just get pregnant with another child but it isn't meant to be. I'll love the life out of the family I have and accept it is what's best. Because I think it would be such a slap in the face to those who will never have even one child.

Infertilite sucks. Being hyper fertile can suck just as much. Being fertile but not finding the love of your life in time to have a child sucks. Being infertile and then having a surprise pregnancy is just a nice miracle for a family. It does NOT impact me.

On the rare occassions I feel all jealous or whatever, I remind myself, there are mothers of young children dying of cancer or whatever who would probably look at such a blog post and think, why why why can't this woman appreciate what she has and get over herself, and then I get over myself.

queenbone · June 2011

I still consider myself to be infertile, even with two children. I usually say "I struggle with infertility" or that "I'm not very fertile" when I explain it to people since most assume infertile means you can't have children at all. If it were 100 yrs ago, I wouldn't have children. And even if a miracle conception had happened I would have died in childbirth probably since I had to have c/s.

I am not kidding myself, we will not get pregnant with #3 on our own.

I don't begrudge someone who has had a surprise BFP after infertility or someone who has 2IF with an easily conceived first child.

I think a "fake infertile" is an impatient, control obsessed, 22 yr old who isn't pregnant after her 3rd month ttc and wants to go to the dr for fertility drugs.

HannaB · June 2011

yodasmistress:
*Disclaimer* I see this post has like 50 responses but I didn't read them all.
I think that anyone who meets the clinical definition of infertility can claim the label if they want. (Lucky them, right? LOL.) That said, I think there is a massive spectrum ranging from people who are slightly subfertile all the way to sterile.
I will admit that I have, on occassion, rolled my eyes when someone is bemoaning their trials and tribulations with infertility when they TTC for 15 months, popped some Clomid, did an IUI, had healthy full term twins, then got pregnant unassisted in just a few months the second time around. However, that is coming from a person who has wonky eggs and a husband with wonky sperm and it took us 4+ years, 3 IVFs and traveling across the country to one of the best clinics in the country and using uber cutting edge technology to get KU.
I read blogs of a number of women who make my IF journey look paltry. I think that we all view other's experiences through our own lens. And that's ok. And if someone else thinks that you (or I) are a fake infertile then I think you (or I) should be grateful that you (or I) didn't have such a rough go of it that we have that perspective.

I agree with this.

yankee42 · June 2011

i just consider myself someone who struggled with IF, who had success with help, and who got lucky.

I don't call myself an "infertile", but i don't call myself a "fertile"...i don't say i was "fixed" i don't know if i still have problems or not..i just know what i went through, and that was IF