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North Carolina Babies
Terrible Two
What has been your experience with this age so far?
We just this week had a BIG change in our house with his attitude. Every single thing is "no!" "nope!" "No, Mommy!" or he is whining because he wants something he can't have, a TV show that isn't on, a food we don't currently own or a toy he can't find. It is testing for sure. This morning he had a complete meltdown while trying to get him in the car and he was so mad that he literally shook when he was screaming.
He is starting to show a some aggressive behavior at school as well and I am not sure how normal it is. He was hitting and poking and then when asked to sit in time out he was kicking the wall. He has been begging not to take him to school and he tells me that he wants to go back to "our house" when he sees the building.
I think we have found a solution for our new daycare, but we can't start until August. I don't know if the behavior at school is because of something going on, when we ask him why he did something he will always tell us about this other kid doing something to him. Yesterday he told me that the other kid gave him a booboo. Ben is the oldest in the class and is supposed to be moving up but they haven't told us when that will happen yet. He is bored playing with babies again.
My sweet boy 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Terrible Two
The first couple of months after Holly turned two were really rough for us. It was the roughest stage we've gone through so far, by a long shot. It was literally like she was fine at 23.5 months, then BAM! Everything seemed to end in a dramatic tantrum, and I felt like we were putting in her timeout everytime I turned around. We actually stopped using timeout because it turned into such a big game for her. It seemed like she was just trying to disobey us on purpose to test us. I'm sure that's exactly what she was doing.
Things have mostly just calmed down, which is good. But we have definitely changed the way we discipline her. Timeout worked great for us from like 16-23 mos. I'm not usually one for parenting books, but I read one of the "Love & Logic" books, and that's mostly what we've been doing. The book was really hokey, and some of the things it suggested were quite a stretch. But we've adopted the basic principle of it, and it really seems to be working.
These are a few of the main things we've changed:
-If she starts throwing a fit, I'll say "Oh no. I think you need some time to yourself to sort this out. We don't want to hear you throw a fit. Do you think you need some time in your room until you're ready to be nice?" Almost always, she'll say no, and I'll just walk away. If she says yes, or keeps up the fit, I immediately take her upstairs, put her in the room, then tell her to let me know when she's ready to be nice, then I close the door. I'll stand right outside, and she'll either cry for awhile longer, or say "I'm ready to be nice, Mommy!" and I'll go in and get her. I'll say, "I'm so glad your'e ready to be nice now. Let's go play" (or whatever). Or, sometimes I'll just say "I really don't want to hear you cry. I'm going to go to the other room, and you can come see me when you're ready to be nice." I rarely have to say more than the phrase, and she'll stop. Like I said, it's kind of hokey, but it's been pretty amazing so far.
-When she starts acting up DH and I both now almost instinctively say, "Oh no, Holly..." in a really disappointed tone. For whatever reason, that seems to get her attention as well. So sometimes we don't even have to do the whole spiel above.
-When she's being good, I make a huge deal out of it. I'll buy her a little treat when we're shopping and she's good, etc. I'll make a big deal out of saying she got it because she was being such a nice girl. I'll get home and she'll show DH what she got, and I'll reiterate it again--I'll ask her to tell him why I bought her the treat, and she'll tell him.
I'll remind her that I can't wait to take her swimming/to the beach/to the library (her favorite things) for being such a good girl. When she starts acting up, I'll say "remember, I sure hope you'll be nice so I can take you to the pool/beach/library this summer. If you're not nice, we won't be able to do those fun things and it will be sad." It normally nips it in the bud.
I've just found that I can reason with her a lot better now. She still is not afraid to throw a fit, but I really can't think of a time recently where this hasn't worked. Maybe she's just outgrown the rough part, but things have definitely improved for us.
As far as daycare goes--
Is Ben still in the 1 year old class? I am willing to bet that he will show a major improvement once he moves up. For us, it was such a major, almost immediate, change in her attitude and development when she moved to the 2 year old class (in fact, that's about when things in general started getting better).
I know you've had an issue with your daycare situation, so I really hope that once you are able to move on to the new center, that you'll see a big difference too. I think that once you're both feeling more confident about the situation, his behavior will improve. I know you are unhappy with the center, so maybe he can pick up on that vibe somehow too?
Hang in there!
Sounds normal to me, based on my experience. Natalie has done similar things -- meltdowns over not finding something, not getting her way, etc. Being aggressive -- yanking toys away, throwing, and of course, we have the added bonus of her lashing out at Claire. Claire herself is now entering the terrible two phase and is starting her own set of temper tanturms and lashing back out at Natalie. Its all around good times when these normally very sweet girls are in a mood!
With Natalie, we're mostly focusing on calming talking to her when she's acting this way; telling her we don't understand her when she's whining, throwing a fit, etc. and then not responding until she stops and talks normally (at least more normal). We also say something to the extent of "it's not nice to talk that way", "we don't act that way", etc. This usually helps calm her meltdown. We also put her in timeout or take away a toy if she hits etc. Taking toys from Claire is a common issue so there's a lot of telling her it's not ok to take toys out of someone else's hands and to give it back and apologize to Claire, etc.
Although I hear 3s are worse than 2s, I'm actually starting to see a calmer side to Natalie in the last few weeks. Her tantrums aren't lasting as long as they did 6 months ago etc. so I'm hoping we're on the up swing now.
Good luck!
That behavior sounds similar to what we're dealing with. I hear whining quite a bit and sometimes she'll have a meltdown out of no where. We encourage her to "use her words". She can communicate 100% by just talking with words instead of pointing and whining/crying. We try to emphasize being a "big girl". She wants to be a big girl and we capitalize on that since we'll have an actual baby in the house very soon!
As far as daycare, I would try to switch him sooner (if possible-of course). I would get nervous if R started not wanting to go. Maybe that's normal behavior as well...I'm not really sure.
We've started an "ask nicely policy". Sometimes when we choose the "wrong" thing for him, he will pitch a fit. For example, at a restaurant we asked to have a high chair for him instead of a booster seat. Well, he lost it. We told him that was not the way to act and he must ask nicely. He then puts on his sweet voice and says "booster seat please" It has helped tremendously!! Granted, he doesn't always get what he asks for, but hey....maybe that's preparing him for the real world.
I don't have any advice about the daycare situation. I hope it gets better soon!
This! and I hate to say it because Jeremiah is definitely in the "terrible 2" (i hate that phrase) phase...and I shrudder when I think about what is in store for us next year. But, the girls are now 4.5 and we have a LOT less of the tantrums. So hang in there...in a couple of years it'll be a lot better, LOL!
I will say one thing that works for us is if they are asking for something in not the right way or throwing a fit or demanding something I tell them they can wait 2 minutes and try asking me again and if they can ask in the right way then maybe I will be able to hear them.
Good luck!