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Is it wrong to hate a friend's 4 year old?

yourmom5309yourmom5309 member
in Babies: 3 - 6 Months

One of my friends has a four year old daughter.  This kid aggravates the shiit out of me.  She is an only child and her parents never discipline her - that is not what this is about though.  Her daughter gets jealous of my girls when she comes over - totally natural.  However, after working 8:00-7:00 and juggling 2 under 2, I cannot stand this kid.  She constantly whines, interrupts, insists on being held, breaks things at my house, fusses at my 17 month old because she does not understand the concept of sharing, makes her mom take her to the bathroom every 5 minutes - no lie she has a fear of toilets, and overall just aggravates the f@#k out of me.  I try to avoid being "available" for visits when my friend's daughter has to come.  However, my friend always seems to call last minute and say, "DH cannot pick up DD.  Is it okay if she comes with me?"

This just happened and I feel like it ruined my day b/c I really do not like her daughter.  Am I a complete biitch for disliking a 4 year old?  I know she is just a child, but I really don't like her.  When did I become so mean?

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Re: Is it wrong to hate a friend's 4 year old?

  • rimjobrimjob member
    I don't think it is wrong at all,  some kids behavior sucks so bad that they are intolerable.  Basically it isn't her fault, it is her parents, but it isn't your fault so you shouldn't have to be subjected to it

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  • TobleroneBarTobleroneBar member

    I'll validate your cruel, un-understanding, impatient feelings toward this child.  Because I would feel the same damnn way.  In fact, there have been several occasions where I've despised a friend's child... thoughts like:

    "little Ba$tard" "$hit stain" and "troll" will go through my mind.

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  • TobleroneBarTobleroneBar member
    Oh, and I have had thoughts of tripping the child as they walk by...but never had the guts to do it.  Just seems to mean.  But it is fun to think about
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  • TBLilyRoseTBLilyRose member
    Unfortunately, that behavior is learned behavior. I'd be more apt to dislike the parents than the child who should know better but doesn't because she's never been corrected.
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  • Angtru18Angtru18
    From what i just read, I dont like her either...
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  • yourmom5309yourmom5309 member

    imageTBLilyRose:
    Unfortunately, that behavior is learned behavior. I'd be more apt to dislike the parents than the child who should know better but doesn't because she's never been corrected.

    Very true.

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  • yourmom5309yourmom5309 member

    imageDeadOktober:
    Oh, and I have had thoughts of tripping the child as they walk by...but never had the guts to do it.  Just seems to mean.  But it is fun to think about

    I seriously just had diet coke come out of my nose.

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  • OliveBabyOliveBaby member

    imageTBLilyRose:
    Unfortunately, that behavior is learned behavior. I'd be more apt to dislike the parents than the child who should know better but doesn't because she's never been corrected.

    This.

     I think I'd start avoiding the friends because their lack of parenting would annoy the ever loving chit out of me.

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  • yourmom5309yourmom5309 member
    imageOliveBaby:

    imageTBLilyRose:
    Unfortunately, that behavior is learned behavior. I'd be more apt to dislike the parents than the child who should know better but doesn't because she's never been corrected.

    This.

     I think I'd start avoiding the friends because their lack of parenting would annoy the ever loving chit out of me.

    Ok.  I am glad I am not alone that thinks that behavior is aggravating.  I guess y'all are right.  It is the parenting that is the bigger issue.  This is my oldest friend.  We have been friends since we were three and a half.  She is too important to avoid, but I do need to find a way to channel my frustration to the proper parties.

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  • globetrotting7globetrotting7 member

    imageTBLilyRose:
    Unfortunately, that behavior is learned behavior. I'd be more apt to dislike the parents than the child who should know better but doesn't because she's never been corrected.

    This. Kids are carbon-copies of their parents.  

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  • imelticeimeltice member
    imagerobs867:
    imageOliveBaby:

    imageTBLilyRose:
    Unfortunately, that behavior is learned behavior. I'd be more apt to dislike the parents than the child who should know better but doesn't because she's never been corrected.

    This.

     I think I'd start avoiding the friends because their lack of parenting would annoy the ever loving chit out of me.

    Ok.  I am glad I am not alone that thinks that behavior is aggravating.  I guess y'all are right.  It is the parenting that is the bigger issue.  This is my oldest friend.  We have been friends since we were three and a half.  She is too important to avoid, but I do need to find a way to channel my frustration to the proper parties.

    I feel your paid my SIL is the same way with her daughter.  I am already having anxiety about the effect her crappy parenting is going to have on my child, since we cannot avoid her and her daughter.

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  • Chicky0727Chicky0727 member
    I have the same feeling towards a little girl that goes to our church. She runs around all the time during the service and is so disruptive. Has no manners. Complains all the time. Screams at the top of her lungs when she isnt given what she wants. Ugh. But like PP posts said...it is the parents lack of parenting skills. The mother does nothing to correct her. Im just glad i dont have to go home with her. Either of them.
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  • cooklcookl
    Nope.  Perfectly acceptable.  I teach middle school PE and coach volleyball - I LOVE my kids when they are at school but can't stand teenagers "out in the wild."  I think it's a matter of control - if they give me attitude at school, I can give them a detention.
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  • mrs.ptbmrs.ptb member

    imageTBLilyRose:
    Unfortunately, that behavior is learned behavior. I'd be more apt to dislike the parents than the child who should know better but doesn't because she's never been corrected.

    I don't like my 5 year old niece, and I don't like her parent either. I look forward to the day Ben is old enough to prove that he is a "good kid" and I can tell my SIL to shove it. Yeah... the parent to a 5 year old that even her grandfather has referred to as a b!tch likes to give parenting advice. Really? I think I'll take that advice from the parents of my 7 other nieces and nephews who don't bite, hit, call names, scowl, etc. 

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  • TBLilyRoseTBLilyRose member
    imagerobs867:

    Ok.  I am glad I am not alone that thinks that behavior is aggravating.  I guess y'all are right.  It is the parenting that is the bigger issue.  This is my oldest friend.  We have been friends since we were three and a half.  She is too important to avoid, but I do need to find a way to channel my frustration to the proper parties.

    No, I hear ya. Sometimes parents are the sweetest people but their kids are horrendous because they get them get away with everything.

    When her DD acts up and it involves your child, do you step in or do you wait to see if her mom will discipline her? That's always a fine line I'm unsure of with some kids. With my own nieces and nephews I have no problem correcting them but with other peoples' kids I don't want to step on the parents' toes, unless it's a dangerous situation. It's tough. 

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  • erin.merin.m
    Nope I feel the same way about one of my best friends 4 yr old too. She has always driven me INSANE, but I know it's her parents fault. They bicker ALL THE TIME. They aren't consistant with her and are so back and forth. Needless to say she is just a little ***. When our kids are to together I'll step in and verbally tell her not to do something but it's up to her mom to disipline her. The real trouble now is Z LOVES her and now she is going to his daycare. Grrrrr....he better not pick up her antics. Even our daycare lady says she spends a lot of time in time out so it's not just me.
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