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Visitation Woes: few questions/advice needed

sapphire angelsapphire angel member
in Single Parents

Issue 1: He is ALWAYS late. I am so tired and PO'd at having to wait until he feels like dragging his butt out of bed and driving to see her. Do I have to wait around for him? I was in town for both of these recent visits so no 3 hours drive as an excuse: This Friday, he got off of work at 11, said he would pick LO up at about 12:30 and then didn't show up until 1:45. This Sunday, he didn't show up until 11:45 after saying he would be there at 9ish (I agreed to an extended time of 8-7). This just really makes me mad because I had an appointment at 1 pm on Friday and my dad had to take care of LO while at the same time, talk/work with a crew that was fixing the well pump. So do I have to wait around for him? What happens if he shows up and I'm not home? Does he come to meet me or does he wait outside of my place until I get there?

Issue 2: Extra visitation outside of the court order. Ex wants LO from Friday afternoon to Sunday Afternoon. This isn't in our court order and  we go back to court before this goes into it at 3 years old. Ex has yet to take advantage of the full amount of time allowed by the courts (8 to 5 every 1st, 3rd and 5fth Saturday of the month). He gets 18-27 hours a month and usually he only comes once a month for about 5-6 hours. He has no bed for LO, no toys, the booster he uses is borrowed form my parents as is the toilet seat reducer ring he told me he already had. He has absolutely nothing for LO. I flat out refused the request this time because I was already PO'd about having to wait on him for both visits. Should I even consider allowing this if Ex can't even bother himself to care for LO for his normal full 9 hour day, not to mention 9 hours, 2-3 times a month? Unless you ladies have good arguments I'm not even going to argue you this with myself any longer...

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Re: Visitation Woes: few questions/advice needed

  • DarthNBJenniDarthNBJenni

    1. Please tell me the booster he is using is a high chair, and not car seat!

    2. If my ex-h is late, his visitation is forfeit. However, if he has a true emergency and notifies me, that would be different. But it sounds like your ex is taking advantage of you. I had to put my foot down and tell my ex he either follows the court order, or he doesn't see his children.  

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  • sapphire angelsapphire angel member
    imageDarthNBJenni:

    1. Please tell me the booster he is using is a high chair, and not car seat!

    2. If my ex-h is late, his visitation is forfeit. However, if he has a true emergency and notifies me, that would be different. But it sounds like your ex is taking advantage of you. I had to put my foot down and tell my ex he either follows the court order, or he doesn't see his children.  

    1) Yes it the high chair booster that straps to a regular chair at the kitchen table. I bought him the correct car seat to use...

    2) If no one else has ideas then I will sit him down and tell him to pick an arrival time and stick to it or don't bother showing up. If he's not here by that time, I am going on with my day and he will have to track us down if he wants to see her. I have had to cancel so many girls 'night' out with friends because he has been ridiculously late for pick-up. Just makes me see red! I would probably tolerate a consistently late arrival time but it varies by about 3 hours over all of his visits so far. 

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  • BostonGayGalBostonGayGal member
    I think waiting more than 15 minutes is uncalled for unless he calls with a very good explanation. 


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