The girls are 16 months old, and I have yet to be away from them overnight. In fact, I think I have only missed baths/putting them to bed 3 times in 16 months. But I have been the one they see when they wake up every morning of their lives.
I am starting to feel like MH and I would benefit from a quick getaway sans kids. I am thinking a trip to Vegas for 2 days/1 night. But I feel so guilty even thinking about it. I know it would be good for us, and especially me, but I just can't pull the trigger. I fought so hard and long to get pregnant and I just feel like a jerk leaving them for a night.
Am I ridiculous? When did you have your first mini-getaway?
Re: when did you spend your first night away from the kids (not for work)?
Ha! Great minds think alike - I just asked this yesterday!
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/54105256.aspx
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
OMG, I am totally *that* person who just asked the same question someone else did a few posts down.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
Meh, don't worry about it. We've all done it.
4 Fresh IVF cycles + 1 FET where embies didn't survive the thaw = 2 perfect little men!
sFET 11/9/11 - Beta 11/18 BFP!
I think around 6 months, but I had already worked a night shift, so they were used to me not being there periodically. We just went overnight and were gone from them from 6p-10a. We've done that once with about the same time gone. I'm ready to be gone for a full day away. Just waiting for grandparents to be ready. Don't think I'd be ready for any more than that right now.
My vote is GO
I left the boys at my parents' house at 10 weeks the night before my first race. I really didn't want to do it, but it was good practice for the following weekend when we "had" to leave them for a wedding.
Now they go for a sleep over to my parents' at least once a month. I'm still a little sad since seeing their faces in the morning is the greatest feeling ever, but it's really nice to have it just be us.
My advice: DO IT! (Don't feel guilty either.) Everyone will benefit from it.
For me it was too soon....at 8 months I went to Cabo for a long weekend with my husband. I HATE leaving them. But dh really wanted to go and I was soo nervous, felt guilty, felt sick to my stomach, fought with my husband. But in the end, I was very happy we went and it was awesome to have alone time with dh! I knew the twins were in good hands (my il's came to my house and stayed here so at least the twins were familiar with their surroundings) I was just nervous. We have gone away since then and same thing I got really nervous but in the end it was worth it.
I think you should go, y'all will have so much fun and it will be great to have alone time with your dh!
The closest DH and I have ever gotten to a "getaway" was when DS1 was 5 months old and we went to NH for a weekend to check things out because we were moving there. Now, with 4 kids, I don't think anyone would be willing to take on that craziness to let us have a night away ; ) Go and have fun, the girls will be fine, especially if it's only for 1 night!
Kind of. From reading your blog, those girls are your life and they will see that and know that. The girls will not even remember you leaving.
I know me personally I want to show my kids the importance of relationships and partnerships. Show them mommy and daddy time is VERY important. I want them to respect that so that when they get older they respect their relationships and hold it high on their priority list. Family is always first, but there would be no family if mommy and daddy didn't create it.
With the assumption that you decided to have a family because you wanted to create life with your H, I would think you most DEF deserve time away!!!!!! Have fun!!!! And put $100 on black for me.
My first getaway will be my Bachelorette party in July and I can't freaking WAIT!!! I need some sun and LOTS of cold Tecates. Will I cry when I leave the boys? YUP. Will I miss them? YUP. Do I need this trip? YUP
I just got back from my 1st getaway (just me and DH) since DDs were born. They are 18 mo. old. I did a long trip--just shy of a week!--and I was so anxious/felt so guilty about it but I'm glad we did it.
DH's parents flew in and watched the girls. I wanted DDs to have as normal as possible schedule (i.e. be at our house vs. theirs that they've only been to once, we kept them in their Mother's Day out program 2xs a week, etc.) They did GREAT!! I was so scared that when I'd get back they'd give me the cold shoulder but both DH and I were showered with their little kisses and squeals!
IMO, I say go for it--they'll be fine! And you said a weekend (2 nights, right?); you'll be back before you know it! My being gone the 1st time for a whole 5 nights was a bit overwhelming (for me, not them!) but DDs did fine and I bet yours will do amazing too!
Enjoy your getaway--you deserve it!
We went to a wedding overnight (we were gone less than 24 hours) when they were 5 mo. They stayed at my parents. I didn't feel guilty, nor did I worry b/c my parents are great.
If our work schedules & finances allowed for it, I would do a weekend getaway in a heartbeat. I say DO it.
I am guessing that the hardest part is going to be the drive home...you'll be SOOOO anxious to see them, wondering if they'll be "mad" at you for being away (which they won't be , and you will feel 385479487 times better when you walk in the door and they light up when they see you and you realize that they did just FINE without you there. And you and your H will benefit from that alone time.
Ok, now I feel like I need to plan this as well...because I've never been away from them either, and for the same reasons.
YUP! But all of us moms are I don't think that we have actually had a mini-getaway yet
I never even left K overnight for any reason till she was 15m(?), I just never did.
I don't think the girls will be bothered at all, and a happy lady makes for a happy mom! Enjoy the trip!
Do it. Do it do it do it! Go to LV and get drunk and silly with K. To answer your Q, not yet but that's only b/c my mom is 2 time zones away and DH has no parents to help out. My SIL could but I don't want to impose as she's already done so much for us. We're hoping to get my mom here in Sept/Oct and between her, my SIL and adult niece, they could cover off 3-4 days so we could go away.
Cut the Crap - Weight loss journey of a Few Fat Chicks
dup
I've only done one night at a time (at 3 months and at 9 months, and TOMORROW!!), but at this age, I could totally handle 2 or 3 nights.
We've always left them with my Mom and she is THE BEST. They LOVE her too, so I always felt very comfortable. The first time was weird, but it's gotten easier.
I think time away with your spouse is really important. We really needed that time to recharge and just click with each other again. I also really want to set an example for my kids that marriage is important and needs to be nurtured. My parents would do weekend trips on occasion or overnights. I think it set a good example for me.
I think you should absolutely do it! It will be wonderful for you and DH and you will feel so refreshed when you get back!
We went away for my birthday for one night when the boys were 2 months old. We were gone for exactly 14 hours. Then in October when they were 10 months old, we went to FL for 4 days. I was done pumping and had such a great time away from them. Sometimes I fantasize about those days in FL......
Last weekend was the first time since the NICU that they slept away from us. We dropped them off at my parent's house that evening, and picked them up the next morning. They go to my mom's house during the week when I work, so it was familiar to them. They did great, and DH and I went out to a nice dinner and just relaxed. I really missed them, though. I'm glad it was just 1 night for the first time.
Do it! have a great time, and know the girls will be just fine.
we have not both been away together & are dying to, we would have done it probably between 10 & 12 months last summer or at the latest in march when they were about 19 months but we don't have anyone who can watch them both overnight . my mom can't do it alone b/c the kids still have a lot of sleep issues & my ILs have never offered & I don't think could really do it (they're 70) b/c they don't even offer for us to go out to dinner when they're visiting...
So for us it is not about being away from them but about who would watch them overnight. we get sitters semi-regularly. I was away from them for a total of maybe 7 or 8 nights when they were 4-9 weeks old b/c my father was very ill & passed away and I went to visit him & then went to the funeral, etc. But that was obviously a very different situation. I have also been away from them for a few nights for a conference & it was not a big deal for me.
You need to let go of the guilt. With family moving closer (and it seems like you and your parents are very close, and they are good with the girls) it's a great reason to get away once in a while.
I WISH we had family close by so that my husband and I could reconnect as a couple, and my babies are 1/3 the age of yours.
As important as it is to be a good mom, it is equally as important to be a role model for a healthy, loving marriage. And that means nurturing your relationship with your husband outside of your family of four.
I totally understand how you feel! I haven't been away from my girls yet. As my 30th bday gift, my mom booked a mini get away for DH and I to go skiing this past winter. The babies were 5 months, I was nursing and having anxiety over the thought of leaving them so I canceled it. I rebooked it for 2 month later thinking I'd be able to go then. Nope! Still wasn't ready so I canceled again. I'm hoping that by our anniversary in Nov I'll feel comfortable leaving them overnight.
My problem with not wanting to leave them isn't because I feel like a jerk though. I know they won't remember. It's actually more selfish. I'm too much of a control freak. I think I'd miss them so much that I wouldn't stop thinking about them and worrying and then I wouldn't enjoy myself. I'm sure it'd be good thing to get away, but like you I just can't bring myself to do it yet. If you go...have fun! And let me know how it goes!