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Dh has changed his mind...

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Re: Dh has changed his mind...

  • twinkl5379twinkl5379 member
    I never said parenting my own would be easy. I said it would be different. I do not have a financial mess. I have a very good amount in savings. I'd prefer not to spend it all and would prefer to continue saving. But we will be just fine with my savings. However, that savings is not for my Hs kids. He is responsible for them, not me. My H has also said he is in a much better financial shape with me than he was with his x though his kids are very expensive. Not to mention dh has worked 2 jobs for a year now. I have every right to have a child.
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  • cole2144cole2144 member

    imagetwinkl5379:
    I never said parenting my own would be easy. I said it would be different. I do not have a financial mess. I have a very good amount in savings. I'd prefer not to spend it all and would prefer to continue saving. But we will be just fine with my savings. However, that savings is not for my Hs kids. He is responsible for them, not me. My H has also said he is in a much better financial shape with me than he was with his x though his kids are very expensive. Not to mention dh has worked 2 jobs for a year now. I have every right to have a child.

    So this is your savings and your H has not put anything in it at all?

    No one else will ever know the strength of my love for you. After all, you are the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from the inside.
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  • twinkl5379twinkl5379 member

    Yes, it is my savings - the large majority that I came into the marriage with. I've also given him $9k to invest into something.

    He has a small amount in savings, but his savings will likely be gone after he pays therapy this year.

    Our money stays seperate - which he wants just as much as I do b/c he does not want my savings to be counted in any child-support related audit (not even sure if this can happen but just to be safe).

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  • J&A2008J&A2008 member

    Of course it's your "right" to have a child, but is it really in your best interest or the child's? 

    I know people can change and grow, but wouldn't you want to see your H make that turn around now and become a more involved, caring parent before you decide to make him a father again?  I would.

    (and yes, I know you'll point out the financial support, but that's not the type of caring I'm talking about.)

    Stay at home mom to a house of boys: two amazing stepsons, 12 and 9, and our 4 year old.
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  • Moose2000Moose2000

    imagetwinkl5379:
    I never said parenting my own would be easy. I said it would be different. I do not have a financial mess. I have a very good amount in savings. I'd prefer not to spend it all and would prefer to continue saving. But we will be just fine with my savings. However, that savings is not for my Hs kids. He is responsible for them, not me. My H has also said he is in a much better financial shape with me than he was with his x though his kids are very expensive. Not to mention dh has worked 2 jobs for a year now. I have every right to have a child.

    The bolded statement kinda bothered me - whether its money, or emotional support I guess IMO I feel like that's partly my responsibility too under my roof. But I sincerely hope that through therapy things work out for you, and the kids.  

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