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Suggestions for handling rude comments toward DS re: food allergies

omurrayomurray
in Food Allergy

My DS is 4 and is allergic to peanuts and tree nuts.  Obviously all of our friends are aware of his allergies and his preschool is nut free and the kids all know which ones are allergic.  In the past couple weeks, I've witnessed 2 of his little friends separately make comments to him in what seemed like a rude/snotty/taunting type tone regarding his allergies.  Just simple stuff like "you can't have peanut butter sandwich", but said in a snotty "nana nana boo boo" type tone, and then another kid on a different occasion said "you'll get all bumpy" with an evil laugh afterward.  My DS did not comment back to either of these kids and I changed the subject quickly to divert attention from it.  I'd like advice on how to directly and clearly address these type of comments in the moment to make it clear that they are hurtful.  I want to address this behavior immediately and also model for DS what a clear and appropriate response is.  Advice or suggestions?

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Re: Suggestions for handling rude comments toward DS re: food allergies

  • SallyJean95SallyJean95 member

    I'd tell his friends that yes, it's true that he can't have peanut butter but you make up for it by letting him have chocolate cake for breakfast every day. 

     

    Seriously I'd just tell them that no one is perfect and some people's imperfections are more obvious than others and pointing them out is hurtful.  And that no one wants to be made fun of because it's not nice and it hurts. 

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  • consciousbuyerconsciousbuyer

    I agree with both posts, and I suggest also talking to his day care provider about the mean comments. Ask if they've noticed any simillar situations with those or other children. Ask if your son has said or done anything unkind to those children or those children's friends. You could be looking at a bullying situation that's being ignored by the facility. And if nothing else, it puts his caregivers on alert to the fact that there may be a problem, which is generally appreciated by them, since the last thing they want is something spinning out of control before they even have any idea it's happening. And though I hate to say it, you may need to face the fact that your son may have brought the comments on himself somehow. But in that case, the provider should be able to tell you if there's a problem.

     

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  • CareBear0607CareBear0607 member
    All kids will get teased/bullied about something at some point inour life.  I am sure that all of our LO's will be food allergy related.  Is this happening at the school or outside the school?  I think teaching DS to stand up for himself as well as leeting the school and/or parents know what is going on are both good choices.  Good luck!
    DD~6 years old~born June 6, 2008 (1st grade)
    DS~4 years old~born November 6, 2010 (1st year of preschool)
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  • magdusiamagdusia member
    imageSallyJean95:

    I'd tell his friends that yes, it's true that he can't have peanut butter but you make up for it by letting him have chocolate cake for breakfast every day. 

     

    i loooove this!!!!!!!!!! and plan on keeping it in my head if i ever go through this.

    OP - How old is your son? I'm so sorry he has to deal with this and it really sucks. kids can be so hurtful.  i would be scared that they will take it even further and have nuts on them as a joke.  I guess my paranoid self would be going straight to the parents. Not in a way to get the boys in trouble, but perhaps tell the parents to educate them about the allergy (you might have to educate the parents first).

    Also, can you go to the school and have them educate the children?

    Hope this stops and your son can just enjoy school with out being picked on about his allergies. 

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