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May 2011 Moms
Dexter2011
member
I love her so much
Hey ladies sorry I haven't been around.
Dexter2011
member
DH and I are in the middle of finalizing a divorce. Long story short since Marley came out white, he left me, and accused me of having an affair. We got a DNA test done and Marley is his. I made a commintment to him when I married him. I would have never had an affair. Ever. And it killed me inside that he would have ever thought that. Well he tried to come back, and I said NO! He has hurt me way to much. Am I doing the right thing? Should I not go through with the divorce? What should I do? If you guys don't know he is AA and extremely dark skinned and I am white. I am so torn apart. My life is a hot mess. I'm so confused.
Well ladies I will leave you with a 1 month old Marley picture.
Look how dark she has gotten. Her color is finally coming in
I love her so much
Marley Soledad
4/20/2011
Esma: I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. Then Ill put that flea in a box. And put that box inside another box. Mail that box to myself. And when it arrives. ILL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER. Its brilliant, brilliant, brilliant I tell you. Genius I say.
Or to save on postage. Ill poison him with this.
4/20/2011
Esma: I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. Then Ill put that flea in a box. And put that box inside another box. Mail that box to myself. And when it arrives. ILL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER. Its brilliant, brilliant, brilliant I tell you. Genius I say.
Or to save on postage. Ill poison him with this.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Hey ladies sorry I haven't been around.
She's beautiful. I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I would be devastated if my husband thought Eliza was another mans baby. I think you are totally justified in your hurt and anger.
With that being said, I think if I were in the same situation I would try counseling first. Especially since you do have a child with him. Good luck with whatever you decide.
I lost my angels 07/2010, 04/2017, 10/2017
Meimsx no more
I'm mixed, my DH is dark skinned, and our baby is lighter than me! People have joked about it not being his, but if he ever seriously thought that, and acted on it.... I am so sorry this is happening!
Have there been issues of infidelity in the past? or is this really stemming from the color of your baby? (see my pale child in siggy!)
I can't give you advice on what to do with your marriage. That's between you and your Dh.
I can say that its typical for babies with a black and white parents to come out light, and darken over time. My friends wife is white whereas he's black and both his babies with her came out white and have darkened into a beautiful golden color.
Good luck, and I hope you find peace with whichever decision you make for your family.
I'm a breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, anti-CIO Mommy
Raising Bean
Wives Unscripted
Married my hero on 10-11-08
Our bean was born on 05-19-11
If you were both black, I could see where he was coming from. Hell DH used to joke that he would request a DNA test if DD came out Black!
But since you are white he should have expected this. Even Black babies are born VERY light(most of the time)
Sounds like he WAY over reacted!!!
I don't know what I would do? Do you love him? Can you see that he really had a reason to freak out(like did he not understand the science of skin pigmentation or was he just using it as an excuse to get the DNA test?)
If you think he was just 'dumb' I might take him back. But if this is a straw that broke the camles back when it comes to him making d-bag moves, I would sign the papers.
No! Never! I have been faithful to him. This is really about the color of our baby. Our first child was born dark and has only gotten darker. Marley came out lighter so he didn't believe she was his.
He was only 3 days old in this picture.
4/20/2011
Esma: I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. Then Ill put that flea in a box. And put that box inside another box. Mail that box to myself. And when it arrives. ILL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER. Its brilliant, brilliant, brilliant I tell you. Genius I say.
Or to save on postage. Ill poison him with this.
he looks pretty brown to me!!!
These are my parents and this is the brownest I ever got!!! It's not unusual... hasn't he met many mixed people before???
I don't know what was going through his head. I do love him with all my heart. We have 2 beautiful kids together. IMO, I think just because she came out white and our DS came out dark he didn't think she was his. He has hurt me so much. I never in a million years would have thought he would deny our daughter.
4/20/2011
Esma: I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. Then Ill put that flea in a box. And put that box inside another box. Mail that box to myself. And when it arrives. ILL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER. Its brilliant, brilliant, brilliant I tell you. Genius I say.
Or to save on postage. Ill poison him with this.
and these are my sisters...
we are differnt colors! i am the palest of the bunch! Ok, I might not be helping, and maybe I'm just AW'ing my beautiful mixed family!! lol!! But I feel the need to sit him down and educate him on the rainbow of skin tones that is mixed race!!
You have a beautiful family. Our DS is really dark and Marley is really light. I think that is what made him think she wasn't his.
4/20/2011
Esma: I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. Then Ill put that flea in a box. And put that box inside another box. Mail that box to myself. And when it arrives. ILL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER. Its brilliant, brilliant, brilliant I tell you. Genius I say.
Or to save on postage. Ill poison him with this.
This!! All the way. I see the same exact thing. Everybody does. But he didn't.
4/20/2011
Esma: I'll turn him into a flea. A harmless little flea. Then Ill put that flea in a box. And put that box inside another box. Mail that box to myself. And when it arrives. ILL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER. Its brilliant, brilliant, brilliant I tell you. Genius I say.
Or to save on postage. Ill poison him with this.
I see it too, I'm really sorry you have to go through this. I personally think you should go with your heart and do what you think is right for you and your family. If you want to stay with DH and this is just a hiccup in your marriage I'm with Meimsx and suggest you go to counseling if both of you want to work it out.
I am so sorry you are going through this! Aside from skin tone, your son and daughter look very similar. It is very commom for people with both AA parents and siblings to have a different skin tone, and even more so with a white parent and a AA parent. He should know this and it sounds like he was looking for a reason to leave and is having regrets now.
If you are having doubts, I recommend counseling. Since you have children together, you are going to have to be in each other's lives for the next 18 years, so even if you decide to proceed with the divorce, counseling could help you to learn to get along and co-parent together. If DH refuses to go to counseling, you can still go, and know that you made the right decision.
There is lots of support and legal advice regarding child support, visitation, etc. on the single parents and blended family boards.
Wow, I don't even know what to say.
Unfortunately, part of me feels like he was just looking for a reason, any reason, to leave. Maybe he's just scared and overwhelmed by everything, I don't know.
All I do know is that if you're having doubts about divorcing, don't do it yet, seek counseling first.
Wishing you the best - whatever that may be.
DS 6.12.11
Hypermenorrhea, Anovulatory & Hypothyroid
TTC#2
My Lack of Ovulation Chart
All of this! Do what you feel is best for your family! I am so sorry you have to go through this! ::hugs::