Austin Babies

IL Vent - Long

I really love my MIL but I'm annoyed right now.  She's super nice but she gets her feelings hurt very, very easily.  For example: when we went on vacation we told her we'd call Friday to let her know how it went.  DH called in early afternoon, she gave him a guilt trip that it wasn't earlier.  Another one, if she calls and we don't call back quick enough she gets really sad like, crying sad (she'll tell another one of the kids about it so we always find out.  Well, yesterday we went to the movies and were in a great mood on the way hom.  FIL calls.  Here's the jist of the conversation.

FIL: Hi (whatever greeting stuff)

DH: Hey, how's mom, wasn't her surgery yesterday?

FIL: Yeah it was, all of her friends have been calling to check on her.  She wanted to know why her own kids don't even care.

DH:  Are you kidding me?  blah, blah, blah arguing

FIL: When her parents were alive, she went to their house once a month.

DH:  How am I supposed to do that when I work all the time?  She never had a full time job.

Continued with more arguing...

Lost cell reception (I'm sure FIL thought DH hung up) and neither one called back. 

Normally, I would call her on the weekend to chat, see how it went, etc.  Now, I feel like it's going to be awkward and I don't want to get in the middle of it.  I sent her a get well cookie bouquet last night but she won't get it until tomorrow. 

What's your opinion of this?  Should I try calling or just wait a bit?

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Re: IL Vent - Long

  • When DH is in arguments with his parents, I stay out of it & act like I normally do. So if you typically call your MIL on the weekends to chat, I would do that. One time DH had a blow up fight with his parents, and I still went over the next day like I normally would have to pick up something from their house. I think I may have said something to the effect of "Oh, I'm staying out of it. THat's between y'all! How's X going? blah blah, normal conversation"
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  • I'd let my DH handle it -- especially since it seems like this is his issue to begin with.

    that sucks though!  hopefully it'll blow over soon!

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  • Oh, jeebus.  That sounds awfully familiar. I guess if you usually call on the weekend, you should call.  But if she so much as brings up one word about the issue, I'd say something like "I didn't call to talk about that, you'll need to discuss that with your son.  I just wanted to check on you."

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    anderson . september 2008
    vivian . february 2010
    mabel . august 2012
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