Late birthday, late kindergarten start date... thoughts?

forensicmama · May 2011

My DD doesn't turn 5 until November, so that means she'll get one more year as a preschooler. I'm just curious about any experiences out their with their LOs being a little older than their classmates, how they adjusted, etc. From what I read, these kids actually do better in kindergarten, but I just feel terrible that she has to stay out another year. Thanks!

BeachTeach26 · May 2011

I don't have experience with my own child, but I am a teacher and I can honestly say that the kids I have taught who were younger than their classmates b/c they did not wait for that later start could not keep up with their classmates in my fourth grade class. They were much more immature and were not able to master the basics at the pace of their peers.

I know that not all kids who enter K a bit young will struggle, but I've seen it many times. I think waiting due to your LO's late bday is a good idea. GL!

shouldbworkin · May 2011

I think it's all relative. Even in my state where the cut off is 12/1, a child born in Nov might not be the oldest in the class. If your cut off is earlier, there's a good chance that there may be kids almost 6 mos older than her in her class. So, not much different if you had a later cut off (DS has an Aug bday with a 12/1 cut off, I sent him on time and the oldest child is 10 mos older, most are about 3-8 mos older and a few are younger).

neverblushed · May 2011

It never, ever hurts a child to be on the older side of the class. My son, who is currently in K, actually made the cutoff by six days, but we decided to wait a year so he started kindergarten having just turned 6. BEST.DECISION.EVER!!

He's not even the oldest kid in class! There's another boy with an earlier summer bday who is older than him. And he certainly doesn't stick out as "older/more mature" than the rest of the class; he fits right in with the rest of the kids. However, he is regarded as a leader by his peers, and he's academically very comfortable.

Kindergarten is very different now. There's even been a huge difference between my DD's kindy experience and my son's, and they're 5 years apart in school. They do a TON of reading and writing in kindergarten. It's much less geared toward "how to be on your own in school" and much more geared to "learning to read, write, and do math."

Angela814 · May 2011

What's the cut off in your state? Here it's September 1st, so a November birthday wouldn't even be close. I know at least half of the kids in DD's 4K class turned 5 earlier in the school year. She's one of the younger kids with a late May birthday.

forensicmama · May 2011

Angela814:
What's the cut off in your state? Here it's September 1st, so a November birthday wouldn't even be close. I know at least half of the kids in DD's 4K class turned 5 earlier in the school year. She's one of the younger kids with a late May birthday.

August 31st is the cut-off date.

forensicmama · May 2011

BeachTeach26:
I don't have experience with my own child, but I am a teacher and I can honestly say that the kids I have taught who were younger than their classmates b/c they did not wait for that later start could not keep up with their classmates in my fourth grade class. They were much more immature and were not able to master the basics at the pace of their peers.

I know that not all kids who enter K a bit young will struggle, but I've seen it many times. I think waiting due to your LO's late bday is a good idea. GL!

Thank you a lot for your reply. This really bolstered our decision to wait and not get her in early. I want more than anything for our DD to succeed in school. I appreciate it.

forensicmama · May 2011

neverblushed:
It never, ever hurts a child to be on the older side of the class. My son, who is currently in K, actually made the cutoff by six days, but we decided to wait a year so he started kindergarten having just turned 6. BEST.DECISION.EVER!!
He's not even the oldest kid in class! There's another boy with an earlier summer bday who is older than him. And he certainly doesn't stick out as "older/more mature" than the rest of the class; he fits right in with the rest of the kids. However, he is regarded as a leader by his peers, and he's academically very comfortable.
Kindergarten is very different now. There's even been a huge difference between my DD's kindy experience and my son's, and they're 5 years apart in school. They do a TON of reading and writing in kindergarten. It's much less geared toward "how to be on your own in school" and much more geared to "learning to read, write, and do math."

True, true. DD still very much needs to learn how to sit still. Right now she's one of the youngest in her preschool class, having turned 4 during the school year. Starting late is definitely the better choice. Thanks again.

jlw2505 · May 2011

No experience yet with my kids but I can tell you that being one of the oldest in class was a plus for me. I grew up in MI with the Dec 1 cut off and my b-day is Dec 21st. There were 3 kids in class older than me out of 132. I was the first to get my license and all that stuff, I turned 18 my senior year of HS and was 18 1/2 when I went off to college. I could not have imagined being at the other end and being 17 when I went to college. I am the youngest of 4 and did have all the "I went to do what my sibs are doing" stuff but honestly, the extra year of preschool was good for me. My older DD has a June b-day with a Sept 1 cut-off and we are holding her back a year as she is just not ready in many ways - her PreK teachers and her speech teachers agree that this is best for her. There is one other boy in her current PreK class that is also repeating the class next year. She has one boy in her current class who repeated PreK and he is a Jan b-day so he is already 6, will start kindergarten at 6 1/2. Both of his parents are teachers and just really felt that he was not ready last fall. On the flip side, one of my DD's PreK teachers has a DD who will turn 5 a few days after the Sept1 cut-off and she had her tested to start Kindergarten early so she will start Kindergarten this fall vs doing PreK. The teacher and I have talked about it a lot due to holding my DD back and she feels that she is really ready to start both socially and academically but she is worried about how she will do in the teen years when she is one of the youngest vs being one of the oldest. Granted, in my area it is more common to hold back the summer b-days so she won't be the youngest at all. I think a lot has to do with your child and the school but I honestly do not know of anyone that held that their child that regrets it but I do know a decent amount of people who went ahead and started on time that regret it.

CubbyMama · May 2011

We agonized over this decision with our daughter (October 2 bday), and I'm a kindergarten teacher--you'd think I would know! After reading all the research I could find and talking to all my teacher friends, I came back to what I already knew and tell parents all the time: there's no harm in sending them later, but there CAN be harm in starting them too early. (Do we want our daughters going to high school with 18-year-old men any sooner than they have to? Eeeek!)

Lots of times, maturity issues come up later, even when kids seem ready to start at 4. I'd rather DD be as mature as possible when she's confronted with issues like bullying, drugs, sex, etc. and that's happening earlier and earlier these days.

Plus, since the trend is moving toward starting kids later even when they DO qualify to start on time, sending a younger child to kinder means they're going to be compared to kids a full year older than them, making them more likely to be labeled immature, a behavior problem, a potential case of ADHD, etc. My DD is reading and is super smart, but she cries at the drop of a hat and just isn't ready maturity-wise, so we decided to give her another year in preschool. I don't think we'll regret that decision, but we may have regretted starting her too soon and then having to worry about the stigma of retaining her later on.

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