Cincinnati Babies

teens & 'laying out' WWYD?

So, my lovely 13 year old daughter has started asking to lay out when it's sunny (like this afternoon).

I've already given a big, fat, non-negotiable NO to tanning beds (hello skin cancer) and spray tans (gross chemicals and it's ugly, I don't care if it's supposed to be safe).  It's utterly astounding that more than half of my 7th graders friends parents allow their daughters to do one or both of these. (ETA: actually, I guess I shouldn't be surprised because almost all of the moms look like they do it too).

I'm not sure what to do here though... Of course I want to say no.  I can't think of one good reason to let her and a handful of good reasons not to.  The funniest part of this is that she is already tan (her natural skin color is dark because her dad is multi-racial).  She's way darker than any of her friends so it's not like she's the freaky pale kid trying to fit in (lol, that would be me :)

When I asked her why she wants to she just says she wants to be in the warm sun, wants to wear her bathing suit, wants to get a little more tan, etc... She's not making a huge stink about it but is definitely not pleased that I don't want to let her.

Anywho... just wondering other's opinions on this topic?  Will you let your daughters lay out in the sun to tan? 

Re: teens & 'laying out' WWYD?

  • kel716kel716 member

    I love laying out in the sun.... with sunscreen of course.  I'm not sure if I'd want to put my foot down on it as there are bigger battles.  But I would only allow it if she is willing to wear sunscreen. 

    While I agree with you that it's not necessary for her skin, she's trying to fit in... and there are way worse things she could be doing (provided she's wearing sunscreen of course)

    Oh, and fwiw, my dermatologist prescribed me 20-40 minutes/day of "sun" exposure for my skin (not hours though!) to help with my psoriasis issues.  He did this on 3/31 and when I saw him last week I told him that following his orders was quite a challenge the last 7 weeks as the sun has been virtually nonexistant.  And to clarify what he said, 20 minutes if it's the middle of the day, 40 if it's the end of the day.  

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  • Honestly, I would let her do it -- as long as she's wearing SPF 50.  While I understand the natural fear of skin cancer, the truth is, if she's outside laying out, playing sports, swimming, going to King's Island.......the sun exposure risk is still going to be there.

    I'm sure you have talked to her about the risks to her skin, but I well imagine that a 13-year old girl doesn't want to hear that lecture from her mama.  Maybe let some pictures and/or stories from the internet do the job of educating her on the risks.

    But I think it's okay as long as she agrees to the sunscreen requirement.  To be honest, I got real tired of laying out in the sun when I got hot.  Maybe she will too.

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  • I am SUPER strict about skin safety since a friend of the family had a horrible battle and eventually died from melanoma (he made a website called www.mela-know-more.org that has info about sunbathing and sun protection) I would tell her that if she researches the risks and still wants to do it then she can provided she wear a high spf sunscreen and applies it appropriately.

    Honestly, if she is wearing sunscreen chances are she wont just be laying out for more than an hour or two if that. I remember "laying out" with friends when I was about that age and it was just the cool thing to do but after an hour we would get bored...being that we had normal 13 year old attention spans, plus you get hot, sweaty and eventually want to come inside or at least do something other than just lay there. Like pp said, there are bigger battles and spending some  time isn't necessarily bad. 

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  • Yes, I would let her, assuming she agrees to wear sunscreen with whatever SPF you deem appropriate and isn't out for more than an hour. Everything in moderation, and I think 13 is age appropriate to "lay out" with friends.  
  • Growing up we had a pool and at 13 I can remember taking naps on a raft. TOTALLY not safe (due to drowning), but I did it.

    I would make her wear sunscreen and maybe come in after an hour or so. But, chances are she will get bored before that hour is up. I understand the skin protection fear, but she's most likely going to be outside quite a bit over the summer and I always found that if I had a little bit of a tan that I got slowly while wearing sunscreen, it helped me not to burn when I was outside all day doing something and didn't even think about wearing sunscreen.

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  • After spending six summers working at a pool in the sun, I can't say much about being outside, but I am a huge proponent of sunscreen, at least SPF 30.  I'd say as long as she isn't being careless about it and using oil and is diligent about reapplying sunscreen, then I would say it's ok.  I can't imagine spending hours outside though doing nothing, I'd get bored pretty quickly.
  • kmn3kmn3 member

    Coming from someone who LOVES the sun, I think I would let my daughter.  Laying out in the sun is actually one thing my mom and I do together and always have Smile

    I would give a "heck no!" to Crisco or baby oil!

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  • I would definitly let her. We had a pool growing up and in high school I spent many hours laying on a raft in the pool with nothing but baby oil. I know...I know... I have always loved having a tan and was a frequent tanning bed visitor in college. That being said, if she's 13 I doubt she's going to want to lay there very long especially when it's hot out. I would make sure she had sunscreen on and let her do it.
  • Yes if she wears sunscreen.
  • I would let her, but first I'd lather her in sunscreen and show her a picture of her grandma, who's face was reconstructed due to skin cancer. The sun is good for the soul IMO.

    I like to lay out too knowing full well the risks, but I take precautions and don't try to bronze myself or get orange.  I'm giving Casper a run for his money right now though.  BTW, my mom probably asked for it a little bit, I remember coming home in HS and the lady had been out all day long and was covered in baby oil.  :(

     

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  • I'm the weird minority here in that my initial reaction was to say no. But then again I have never understood the tanning mentality. Laying out in the sun is the single most boring and uncomfortable thing I ever tried to undertake for "relaxation." I just don't understand what people get from it. My sister lays out every.single.day in the summer at our pool in Vegas. She puts on oil and all that crap. She worked at a tanning salon in high school. She had a cancerous growth removed in her 20's. She's 38 with a chest covered in sunspots and the skin of a 70 year-old. It's gross.

    But having said that, I agree with the ladies here on the board. They've swayed my opinion. It's pretty age appropriate, she must wear sunblock, limit it to an hour, show her pictures of sun-damaged skin and melanomas. And ten bucks says she'll be bored of it within 40 minutes.  

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  • I would allow her to do it sensibly, sunscreen not during peak hours and stay hydrated.  I remember very vividly being about that age and would love to sit out in the sun, of course this is England we are talking about and you soak up as much sun as you can because it isn't often 'sunny'.  A little bit of sunshine in moderation is great for the mood and a vitamin D boost after the horrible Winter/pseudo Spring we have had.

     

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  • Yes but ask her to watch this with you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jgUcxMezM (Dear 16 yr old me)
  • I would, I think this is one of those pick your battles thing. I think what you do here is teach her about being responsible in the sun. Take her to the store and let her pick out some sunscreen and a big floppy hat to keep the sun off her face. If she is already tan it will probably loose it's novelty quick. I always found laying out (especially alone) REALLY boring. Remind her also that the sun causes wrinkles and that a tan isn't worth beign wrinkly (then show her a picture of Madonna's hands, and then the lady from "There's Something About Mary" . 

    hehe 

  • imageallibaba76:
    Yes but ask her to watch this with you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_4jgUcxMezM (Dear 16 yr old me)

    Great video. Thanks for posting. I posted it to my niece's FB page. 

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