Unpopular Opinions anyone?

iris427 · May 2011

Come and get flamed!

pandi02a · May 2011

My MIL is BSC and I love her to death because I choose to. When people complain about their MILs I usually assume its just as much their fault as their MIL's.

Leggadine08 · May 2011

pandi02a:
My MIL is BSC and I love her to death because I choose to. When people complain about their MILs I usually assume its just as much their fault as their MIL's.

Eh I have to disagree. I have spent the past few years trying my best to have a good relationship with MIL but she is BSC and I mean to the extreme. Shes wildly irrational, emational and manipulative and is that way to everyone. She treats all her family this way, not just me, so theres always drama with someone. They usually just let her blow up, pout for a few weeks til she gets over it and then try to resume where they left off. I have just had enough of her personal attacks and name calling of myself, DF and her other children. Shes a bully and needs to learn to behave like an adult so I do limit my contact with her. If she were ever in a genuine crisis, yes I would be there for her in a heartbeat but Ive made it clear I wont tolerate her behavior anymore. Hopefully she can learn to control herself so LO can have a good relationship with her.

UndecidedChange · May 2011

I still don't feel like a mom. M is still this foreign being that's milking me dry, literally. I cry because my husband seems to know what to do more than me. Then I remember that I was seriously considering terminating my pregnancy and my heart aches in guilt. But i seriously feel ill equipped, i don't know what the f*ck i am doing. then i read of all the peeps here dying to meet their deserved child, and it makes me feel guilty again.

it's not uo, but i just wanted to tup it out.

i am in too much bodily pain to even consider having sex ever again, much less have another child, which he has voiced he wants to have (he was an only child, and i have a sister. I thought having a sibling was also very important to me). But I am seriously unable to even process going through this again, and I've been requesting, almost guilting him into getting a vasectomy, because I just can't fathom doing this again.

Basically, I'm really f*cked. IN every sense of the word. I'm totally wishing I was still pregnant, 'cause then, while uncomfortable, I wasn't as miserable as I am right now.

And yes, I've already made an appt with my therapist. This mothering thing is hard. At least for me. Of course, since it seems like everyone else in the world has it down.

UndecidedChange · May 2011

Oh and re: MIL. I am now deathly afraid that M's partner will hate me, and will think I'm a BSC MIL. Right, because I disliked my MIL when I met her and it's been a long 10 years to finally get some kind of relationship...

I'm tired of complaining. I should focus on something nice, like the weather outside. And the fact that kiddo is sleeping with DH, and I'm here watching the Today Show, feeling somewhat normal since I'm chatting on the interwebs...

pandi02a · May 2011

Leggadine08:
pandi02a:
My MIL is BSC and I love her to death because I choose to. When people complain about their MILs I usually assume its just as much their fault as their MIL's.

Eh I have to disagree. I have spent the past few years trying my best to have a good relationship with MIL but she is BSC and I mean to the extreme. Shes wildly irrational, emational and manipulative and is that way to everyone. She treats all her family this way, not just me, so theres always drama with someone. They usually just let her blow up, pout for a few weeks til she gets over it and then try to resume where they left off. I have just had enough of her personal attacks and name calling of myself, DF and her other children. Shes a bully and needs to learn to behave like an adult so I do limit my contact with her. If she were ever in a genuine crisis, yes I would be there for her in a heartbeat but Ive made it clear I wont tolerate her behavior anymore. Hopefully she can learn to control herself so LO can have a good relationship with her.

Of course I was making a blanket statement and such a statement never applies to everyone. From some stories that you have told your MIL actually sounds like a toxic person. That is different than the normal, "I can't believe my MIL wants to hold my baby!" complaints.

iris427 · May 2011

CommonName:
I still don't feel like a mom. M is still this foreign being that's milking me dry, literally. I cry because my husband seems to know what to do more than me. Then I remember that I was seriously considering terminating my pregnancy and my heart aches in guilt. But i seriously feel ill equipped, i don't know what the f*ck i am doing. then i read of all the peeps here dying to meet their deserved child, and it makes me feel guilty again.
it's not uo, but i just wanted to tup it out.
i am in too much bodily pain to even consider having sex ever again, much less have another child, which he has voiced he wants to have (he was an only child, and i have a sister. I thought having a sibling was also very important to me). But I am seriously unable to even process going through this again, and I've been requesting, almost guilting him into getting a vasectomy, because I just can't fathom doing this again.
Basically, I'm really f*cked. IN every sense of the word. I'm totally wishing I was still pregnant, 'cause then, while uncomfortable, I wasn't as miserable as I am right now.
And yes, I've already made an appt with my therapist. This mothering thing is hard. At least for me. Of course, since it seems like everyone else in the world has it down.

Aww honey.

The people who seem like they have it all down are faking it. Motherhood is hard. I was a mess when I had my first baby for months and months. Today I'm home alone sick with two kids and I want to curl up in a ball and send my kids away.

Don't put any stress on yourself about having another baby right now. You don't need to make any decisions about that for a while. Just take it one day at a time for now. I promise it gets better.

mybobofo · May 2011

I also hate my MIL. She loves me, but she is mean to DH and that's why I call her the devil.

My UO - INDUCTIONS AND C-SECTIONS ARE JUST AS GOOD AS "NATURAL CHILDBIRTH"!!! I think this is a shared opinion for many of us here, but seriously, my RL friends and family treat me as if I'm hurrying the poor kid along. I'm 40 weeks and 5 days, measuring ahead, and I will be having him tomorrow. He's plenty cooked! I trust my doctor's opinion and am sick of being referred by f&f to their midwives, favorite websites, and books that tell me I'm out of my mind for doing an induction at 41 weeks.

Oh I'm gonna have trouble when the baby-raising opinions start rolling in......

thewadesons · May 2011

This isn't an Unpopular Opinion, but I've wanted to say this for a long time...

Every time I see "meimsx"'s name, I read it as "Mime Sex" and it makes me wonder what she's into...

pandi02a · May 2011

CommonName:
I still don't feel like a mom. M is still this foreign being that's milking me dry, literally. I cry because my husband seems to know what to do more than me. Then I remember that I was seriously considering terminating my pregnancy and my heart aches in guilt. But i seriously feel ill equipped, i don't know what the f*ck i am doing. then i read of all the peeps here dying to meet their deserved child, and it makes me feel guilty again.
it's not uo, but i just wanted to tup it out.
i am in too much bodily pain to even consider having sex ever again, much less have another child, which he has voiced he wants to have (he was an only child, and i have a sister. I thought having a sibling was also very important to me). But I am seriously unable to even process going through this again, and I've been requesting, almost guilting him into getting a vasectomy, because I just can't fathom doing this again.
Basically, I'm really f*cked. IN every sense of the word. I'm totally wishing I was still pregnant, 'cause then, while uncomfortable, I wasn't as miserable as I am right now.
And yes, I've already made an appt with my therapist. This mothering thing is hard. At least for me. Of course, since it seems like everyone else in the world has it down.

I don't think anyone knows what the eff they are doing at the beginning. You will figure it out. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Forgiving yourself is sometimes harder than forgiving others.

You have to remember that right now your hormones are flipping out trying to regulate and everyone goes through similar feelings. Not to mention how common PPD is. I hope you get to talk to your therapist soon.

(((Common)))

pinkpear · May 2011

CommonName:

I still don't feel like a mom. M is still this foreign being that's milking me dry, literally. I cry because my husband seems to know what to do more than me. Then I remember that I was seriously considering terminating my pregnancy and my heart aches in guilt. But i seriously feel ill equipped, i don't know what the f*ck i am doing. then i read of all the peeps here dying to meet their deserved child, and it makes me feel guilty again.

it's not uo, but i just wanted to tup it out.

i am in too much bodily pain to even consider having sex ever again, much less have another child, which he has voiced he wants to have (he was an only child, and i have a sister. I thought having a sibling was also very important to me). But I am seriously unable to even process going through this again, and I've been requesting, almost guilting him into getting a vasectomy, because I just can't fathom doing this again.

Basically, I'm really f*cked. IN every sense of the word. I'm totally wishing I was still pregnant, 'cause then, while uncomfortable, I wasn't as miserable as I am right now.

And yes, I've already made an appt with my therapist. This mothering thing is hard. At least for me. Of course, since it seems like everyone else in the world has it down.

Hugs to you. It is hard, don't feel bad feeling that way. Your life has changed in a big way and it will take time to adjust. You are going through a lot emotionally and physically. I'm glad you made an appointment to talk with someone. The best thing you can do is release yourself from feeling guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty about. You have already been the best mom to your LO by caring for the two of you these last nine months. I'm pretty sure I'm going to have no clue as to what to do with this LO when they arrive too. It's a learning process for everyone as they adjust.

andigurl · May 2011

pandi02a:
My MIL is BSC and I love her to death because I choose to. When people complain about their MILs I usually assume its just as much their fault as their MIL's.

In most, cases I tend to agree with you. My MIL (well, soon to be MIL) is a certifiable alcoholic and drunk by noon everyday. She is the queen of drama and likes to start crap between everyone. She still has qualities that I can appreciate, it just takes a little more patience and effort to weed through the buillsh!t with her to find them.

pinkpear · May 2011

pandi02a:
My MIL is BSC and I love her to death because I choose to. When people complain about their MILs I usually assume its just as much their fault as their MIL's.

I agree with this on many levels. My mom is the BSC one. It would be so easy for DH to get angry with her or bash her and yet when I bring the topic up he just quietly says, "Our relationship with your mother is different from the relationship we have with mine. It isn't better or worse, it is just different." And he just lets it go. Every time he handles a situation like this it just makes me love him more. We both know she is a wild card but DH has chosen to love her through any of the frustrations and not put me in a position where I'm caught in the middle.

There are always the exceptions but for the most part I think women assume their relationship with their MIL will suck simply because society paints MILs like that and feel that MIL bashing is the norm.

JUSTBEYOURSELF · May 2011

as for the mil ~ um no not everyone that has issues with their mil has done something wrong or is at fault as well. I love my mil I do but this stalking me with wanting updates constantly all day long is getting on my nerves and honestly you could insert any name instead of mil and I would say the same thing.

I think for everyone becoming a mom for the first or fifth time it can be hard and it is a learning experience with each child.

I hate when people state an opinion in one post and then change it in another. stick with what you say do not waiver cause someone calls you out on it and waiver back and forth.

I am agrivated that people say things without truly thinking before they say it such as using the word "retard" and acting like it is okay and not appologize for saying it. For people that call their daughter a "bit@@" and think that it is okay cause they did not mean it.

Leggadine08 · May 2011

pandi02a:
Leggadine08:

pandi02a:
My MIL is BSC and I love her to death because I choose to. When people complain about their MILs I usually assume its just as much their fault as their MIL's.

Eh I have to disagree. I have spent the past few years trying my best to have a good relationship with MIL but she is BSC and I mean to the extreme. Shes wildly irrational, emational and manipulative and is that way to everyone. She treats all her family this way, not just me, so theres always drama with someone. They usually just let her blow up, pout for a few weeks til she gets over it and then try to resume where they left off. I have just had enough of her personal attacks and name calling of myself, DF and her other children. Shes a bully and needs to learn to behave like an adult so I do limit my contact with her. If she were ever in a genuine crisis, yes I would be there for her in a heartbeat but Ive made it clear I wont tolerate her behavior anymore. Hopefully she can learn to control herself so LO can have a good relationship with her.

Of course I was making a blanket statement and such a statement never applies to everyone. From some stories that you have told your MIL actually sounds like a toxic person. That is different than the normal, "I can't believe my MIL wants to hold my baby!" complaints.

I wish she was just the kooky sort that was annoying, not a genuine crazy person. I would love to get along with her like I get along with the rest of his family but I dont know if it will happen

Maybe I could get along with her better if I moved to Germany! Half a world away from her might do the trick! lol

andigurl · May 2011

And Common - big, huge hugs to you. The best thing you can do is stop feeling guilty and accept that motherhood is the hardest job out there. The fact that you want to do a great job and you really do care is what makes it so hard. That being said, you are already a step ahead of a lot of people out there because you DO care. I hope your therapist, and time, helps you get over this hump. One day at a time, everything will get better.

pinkflipflops44 · May 2011

I look at some people's nurseries and laugh because they seem to forget an actual child will be living in them.

pandi02a · May 2011

JUSTBEYOURSELF:
as for the mil ~ um no not everyone that has issues with their mil has done something wrong or is at fault as well. I love my mil I do but this stalking me with wanting updates constantly all day long is getting on my nerves and honestly you could insert any name instead of mil and I would say the same thing.

My MIL is doing the same thing to me though and it doesn't bother me. I think things that bother us are more under our own control than you would think. I choose to not let it bother me. I know she is only calling because she's excited/concerned for me and of course for the baby. She's doing it out of love. It's nice to be loved, even it it's a little too much.

Then again, I know I am a different person than you are and there are things that bother me that don't bother you.

pinkpear · May 2011

JUSTBEYOURSELF:

as for the mil ~ um no not everyone that has issues with their mil has done something wrong or is at fault as well. I love my mil I do but this stalking me with wanting updates constantly all day long is getting on my nerves and honestly you could insert any name instead of mil and I would say the same thing.

I think for everyone becoming a mom for the first or fifth time it can be hard and it is a learning experience with each child.

I hate when people state an opinion in one post and then change it in another. stick with what you say do not waiver cause someone calls you out on it and waiver back and forth.

I am agrivated that people say things without truly thinking before they say it such as using the word "retard" and acting like it is okay and not appologize for saying it. For people that call their daughter a "bit@@" and think that it is okay cause they did not mean it.

I don't think Pandi was referring to your post. I also think there is a huge difference between dealing with a frustrating situation with your MIL and saying that everything that your MIL does is crazy and she is ALWAYS insane. There are some women whose MIL can never do anything right no matter what and I tend to think that in those situations the MIL isn't always to blame.

Everyone has frustrations with their MIL at some point, it's a part of any relationship. But I have friends who talk about their MIL as if they were the devil but the things they complain about really aren't that bad at all. They just have chosen to hate their MIL.

And I hate, hate, hate the word retard. Hate it.

ETA: There is nothing wrong with you not wanting your MIL there while you labor. You should be able to choose who you do and don't want to see during that private time. I don't think that complaint is what the whole MIL debate is about.

Neukim · May 2011

CommonName:
I still don't feel like a mom. M is still this foreign being that's milking me dry, literally. I cry because my husband seems to know what to do more than me. Then I remember that I was seriously considering terminating my pregnancy and my heart aches in guilt. But i seriously feel ill equipped, i don't know what the f*ck i am doing. then i read of all the peeps here dying to meet their deserved child, and it makes me feel guilty again.
it's not uo, but i just wanted to tup it out.
i am in too much bodily pain to even consider having sex ever again, much less have another child, which he has voiced he wants to have (he was an only child, and i have a sister. I thought having a sibling was also very important to me). But I am seriously unable to even process going through this again, and I've been requesting, almost guilting him into getting a vasectomy, because I just can't fathom doing this again.
Basically, I'm really f*cked. IN every sense of the word. I'm totally wishing I was still pregnant, 'cause then, while uncomfortable, I wasn't as miserable as I am right now.
And yes, I've already made an appt with my therapist. This mothering thing is hard. At least for me. Of course, since it seems like everyone else in the world has it down.

I had a HORRIBLE labor and recovery with my ds. He was also a really tough baby. He was colic and a horrible teether. I never thought I would have another child, but here I am. It gets better. Once you heal and the baby starts to grow up and you really fall in love you start to forget about all the stuff that made you not want another. Wait until your lo is at least 18months( when they really start to become fun) before you make any big time decisions.

pandi02a · May 2011

Leggadine08:

Maybe I could get along with her better if I moved to Germany! Half a world away from her might do the trick! lol

Maybe this is why I like my MIL so much.

pandi02a · May 2011

pinkpear:
JUSTBEYOURSELF:

as for the mil ~ um no not everyone that has issues with their mil has done something wrong or is at fault as well. I love my mil I do but this stalking me with wanting updates constantly all day long is getting on my nerves and honestly you could insert any name instead of mil and I would say the same thing.

I think for everyone becoming a mom for the first or fifth time it can be hard and it is a learning experience with each child.

I hate when people state an opinion in one post and then change it in another. stick with what you say do not waiver cause someone calls you out on it and waiver back and forth.

I am agrivated that people say things without truly thinking before they say it such as using the word "retard" and acting like it is okay and not appologize for saying it. For people that call their daughter a "bit@@" and think that it is okay cause they did not mean it.

I don't think Pandi was referring to your post. I also think there is a huge difference between dealing with a frustrating situation with your MIL and saying that everything that your MIL does is crazy and she is ALWAYS insane. There are some women whose MIL can never do anything right no matter what and I tend to think that in those situations the MIL isn't always to blame.

Everyone has frustrations with their MIL at some point, it's a part of any relationship. But I have friends who talk about their MIL as if they were the devil but the things they complain about really aren't that bad at all. They just have chosen to hate their MIL.

And I hate, hate, hate the word retard. Hate it.

Oh, and I wasn't. The last bolded part is exactly what I am referring to.

JUSTBEYOURSELF · May 2011

I just posted in the other post... my dh just called her due to her crazy email of "what's going on?" man I hate that my cervix and womb are the rights of everyone lmao... he called her and told her that we TOLD her already that we would call her when it is time. what is the difference what the dr said or did not say, we are being induced on friday and we again will call when it is time for visitors. she wanted to wait in the waiting room, he told her that the waiting room is super small and she would be asked to leave if she came before it was time. and also that the hospital is very secure and that the staff already knows our wishes of who will be in the room and that NO ONE but the two of us and hospital staff will be in the room.

my mil does alot of nice things it is just the last few weeks she has been a true stalker. I am that kind of person that likes to be left alone most of the time and I will socialize on my time. I do not care for uninvited guest at my home, you need to call and not just show up. so her calling,texting and emailing me all the time is a bit much. her scheduling dates on when she is taking the baby on her own is too much for any new mom to handle. maybe it is cause my mom is laid back and kinda waits for us to call and does not pressure anyone. I know my mil means well but honestly she never treated my sil like this at all, at least I do not think so. She keeps telling me what I should do and what I should not do. I am going to CD and disposable and she disagrees, I want to BF and she has told me that she does not think that will last, she does not want dd to go to a home daycare ~ we do, she does not want me to do a natural birth she keeps giving me horror stories about not having an epidural. it goes on and on and all of this is out of the blue!!!

I re read your post pandi about the blanket statement and that makes sense....

oh and about the word "retard" I am still ticked off about that post and the person is here and posting like nothing ever happened. And I honestly hope that she gets huge just like in that same post and someone tells her just like she told a patient to go to the dump to get weighed in....

aerotigergirl · May 2011

CommonName:
I still don't feel like a mom. M is still this foreign being that's milking me dry, literally. I cry because my husband seems to know what to do more than me. Then I remember that I was seriously considering terminating my pregnancy and my heart aches in guilt. But i seriously feel ill equipped, i don't know what the f*ck i am doing. then i read of all the peeps here dying to meet their deserved child, and it makes me feel guilty again.
it's not uo, but i just wanted to tup it out.
i am in too much bodily pain to even consider having sex ever again, much less have another child, which he has voiced he wants to have (he was an only child, and i have a sister. I thought having a sibling was also very important to me). But I am seriously unable to even process going through this again, and I've been requesting, almost guilting him into getting a vasectomy, because I just can't fathom doing this again.
Basically, I'm really f*cked. IN every sense of the word. I'm totally wishing I was still pregnant, 'cause then, while uncomfortable, I wasn't as miserable as I am right now.
And yes, I've already made an appt with my therapist. This mothering thing is hard. At least for me. Of course, since it seems like everyone else in the world has it down.

I'm a FTM, so I have no experience to pull from here, but I really hope that things will turn around for you soon. I've had friends who've gone through a similar experience with their first child, and they're definitely great moms now, it just took a little while for that initial bonding to happen (maybe it's due to hormones, maybe it just takes some people a little longer, etc). Either way, I'm so glad you gave this as your UO today. I have a huge fear that I won't feel the way I'm supposed to feel (if that makes any sense) when Jonah is born, and there seems to be a lot of unnecessary stigma associated with that. It's a relief to hear (from other BTDT moms) that it's actually pretty common to feel disconnected and detached from the whole process in the beginning, and that your initial reaction/feelings aren't a good indicator of the kind of mom you'll be.

I hope you start to feel better soon.

Raquellyo · May 2011

thewadesons:

This isn't an Unpopular Opinion, but I've wanted to say this for a long time...

Every time I see "meimsx"'s name, I read it as "Mime Sex" and it makes me wonder what she's into...

LOL, I do the same thing. Also with rapst1 ...I always read it as "rapist"

JUSTBEYOURSELF · May 2011

Raquellyo:
thewadesons:

This isn't an Unpopular Opinion, but I've wanted to say this for a long time...

Every time I see "meimsx"'s name, I read it as "Mime Sex" and it makes me wonder what she's into...

LOL, I do the same thing. Also with rapst1 ...I always read it as "rapist"

this is me too!!!

sugarplum2 · May 2011

Raquellyo:
thewadesons:

This isn't an Unpopular Opinion, but I've wanted to say this for a long time...

Every time I see "meimsx"'s name, I read it as "Mime Sex" and it makes me wonder what she's into...

LOL, I do the same thing. Also with rapst1 ...I always read it as "rapist"

Yes agreed!!!

AnneShirleyBlythe · May 2011

CommonName:
I still don't feel like a mom. M is still this foreign being that's milking me dry, literally. I cry because my husband seems to know what to do more than me. Then I remember that I was seriously considering terminating my pregnancy and my heart aches in guilt. But i seriously feel ill equipped, i don't know what the f*ck i am doing. then i read of all the peeps here dying to meet their deserved child, and it makes me feel guilty again.
it's not uo, but i just wanted to tup it out.
i am in too much bodily pain to even consider having sex ever again, much less have another child, which he has voiced he wants to have (he was an only child, and i have a sister. I thought having a sibling was also very important to me). But I am seriously unable to even process going through this again, and I've been requesting, almost guilting him into getting a vasectomy, because I just can't fathom doing this again.
Basically, I'm really f*cked. IN every sense of the word. I'm totally wishing I was still pregnant, 'cause then, while uncomfortable, I wasn't as miserable as I am right now.
And yes, I've already made an appt with my therapist. This mothering thing is hard. At least for me. Of course, since it seems like everyone else in the world has it down.

Common, I am on baby #2 and I don't think I have it down. Don't worry about other people and what they are letting you see...you and your baby are who matters. This time will pass. I hope it goes quickly for you.

aerotigergirl · May 2011

Raquellyo:
thewadesons:

This isn't an Unpopular Opinion, but I've wanted to say this for a long time...

Every time I see "meimsx"'s name, I read it as "Mime Sex" and it makes me wonder what she's into...

LOL, I do the same thing. Also with rapst1 ...I always read it as "rapist"

TOTALLY. I read both of these names the same way.

carishabob · May 2011

pinkflipflops44:
I look at some people's nurseries and laugh because they seem to forget an actual child will be living in them.

I totally agree!

thewadesons · May 2011

sugarplum2:
Raquellyo:
thewadesons:

This isn't an Unpopular Opinion, but I've wanted to say this for a long time...

Every time I see "meimsx"'s name, I read it as "Mime Sex" and it makes me wonder what she's into...

LOL, I do the same thing. Also with rapst1 ...I always read it as "rapist"
agreed!!!

Hahaha. I've always wondered why she chose that name!

JUSTBEYOURSELF · May 2011

carishabob:

pinkflipflops44:
I look at some people's nurseries and laugh because they seem to forget an actual child will be living in them.

I totally agree!

I think some are too much. too pink too tacky, so what everything cost big $$$ it is ugly and honestly a waste. I would rather put the extra $$$ into something my child will use like a education.

darmca · May 2011

This is probably not unpopular but I just want to vent about it.

I am SICK of people calling me and asking how my midwife appointments go each week. It'd be one thing if they would just leave it at that but they want details and offer opinions. "How far dilated are you?" "Oh just 1cm? That baby's never coming out. Why won't they induce you earlier?" "You're still only 1cm? Well I guess I don't have to worry about you going into labour anytime soon". "How much longer does the midwife think it will be- what do you mean she doesn't know? How can she not know? So and so's OB told them it'd be days, weeks etc".

I keep trying to tell them that the state of my cervix doesn't mean much (the only reason I am even getting internals is because they are stripping my membranes) and I still could go into labor any time now and I just get these looks, or condescending voices like "you keep telling yourself that". I don't want to hear that he's never coming out. I don't want to be induced and lose my midwife for some random OB I've never met. Yes, I am avoiding your phone calls because I don't want to hear about how crappy my cervix is.

augustjam16 · May 2011

CommonName:
I still don't feel like a mom. M is still this foreign being that's milking me dry, literally. I cry because my husband seems to know what to do more than me. Then I remember that I was seriously considering terminating my pregnancy and my heart aches in guilt. But i seriously feel ill equipped, i don't know what the f*ck i am doing. then i read of all the peeps here dying to meet their deserved child, and it makes me feel guilty again.
it's not uo, but i just wanted to tup it out.
i am in too much bodily pain to even consider having sex ever again, much less have another child, which he has voiced he wants to have (he was an only child, and i have a sister. I thought having a sibling was also very important to me). But I am seriously unable to even process going through this again, and I've been requesting, almost guilting him into getting a vasectomy, because I just can't fathom doing this again.
Basically, I'm really f*cked. IN every sense of the word. I'm totally wishing I was still pregnant, 'cause then, while uncomfortable, I wasn't as miserable as I am right now.
And yes, I've already made an appt with my therapist. This mothering thing is hard. At least for me. Of course, since it seems like everyone else in the world has it down.

Oh Common...you are not alone. I swear the first month for a FTM is the hardest thing any woman ever has to go through. Ever. And the expectations to just "know" what to do are misleading and frustrating. This is my 2nd and I'm scared. I was terrified the first time because I had NO IDEA WHAT THE F I WAS DOING. This time, I know how hard it is and that is just as scary.

Lose the guilt. Lose the guilt for the decision you didn't make. For not knowing exactly what to do every minute. Because you don't feel like a mom. Because you don't know what the f you're doing. Lose all that guilt because what you're feeling isn't wrong.

Its bootcamp...you'll get through it and wonder how the hell you did it.

mizzmeg · May 2011

UO- I think most newborn babies (literally fresh on top of you) aren't pretty. They still look like little aliens. I am sure this will change when LO decides to come.

On MIL issue- I envy that some of you have MIL. DH doesn't talk to his because she left him and his siblings at his aunts house one day with a one paragraph letter and never returned. She is now some holy Christian that volunteers all the time and doesn't do the drugs (thank heavens) but wont talk to her kids. She talks to me every so often, but its a two second hi, how is everything, okay well I need to go ______. I think it would make family more fun to have the cliche MIL hatred. Good side- I didn't have to impress mom!

LuvTrav · May 2011

sugarplum2:
Raquellyo:
thewadesons:

This isn't an Unpopular Opinion, but I've wanted to say this for a long time...
Every time I see "meimsx"'s name, I read it as "Mime Sex" and it makes me wonder what she's into...
LOL, I do the same thing. Also with rapst1 ...I always read it as "rapist"
agreed!!!

I think the same thing every time I see her post. I am glad I'm not the only one!

kacelle · May 2011

thewadesons:
This isn't an Unpopular Opinion, but I've wanted to say this for a long time...
Every time I see "meimsx"'s name, I read it as "Mime Sex" and it makes me wonder what she's into...

Oh my goodness, I have considered posting this for months and refrained. So I just laughed really hard when I read this.

theaustins05 · May 2011

kacelle:
thewadesons:
This isn't an Unpopular Opinion, but I've wanted to say this for a long time...
Every time I see "meimsx"'s name, I read it as "Mime Sex" and it makes me wonder what she's into...
Oh my goodness, I have considered posting this for months and refrained. So I just laughed really hard when I read this.

It makes me think "Me? I'm six."

mzsparklepdx · May 2011

People should not text you at 5:45am, even if they are offering to bring you frozen meals. Don't wake up the preggo lady who doesn't sleep!!!!!

aerotigergirl · May 2011

mzsparklepdx:
People should not text you at 5:45am, even if they are offering to bring you frozen meals. Don't wake up the preggo lady who doesn't sleep!!!!!

No kidding! My mother does this regularly. I am usually very passive-aggressive about it when I answer the phone (very mature, I know). She's a timezone ahead of me, and I think she just assumes we're all up before dawn getting ready for work. Not so!

mzsparklepdx · May 2011

aerotigergirl:
mzsparklepdx:
People should not text you at 5:45am, even if they are offering to bring you frozen meals. Don't wake up the preggo lady who doesn't sleep!!!!!
No kidding! My mother does this regularly. I am usually very passive-aggressive about it when I answer the phone (very mature, I know). She's a timezone ahead of me, and I think she just assumes we're all up before dawn getting ready for work. Not so!

I don't think this particular person realizes that, since our cell phones are our only phones, they are right next to the bed and turned on all night. I'm going to educate her this afternoon Angry Luckily my phone was in the other room charging (this time) and I didn't hear it.

Want a personalized experience?

Unpopular Opinions anyone?

Re: Unpopular Opinions anyone?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards