Confused about CIO - flame away

Mama2Nico · May 2011

Ok, I guess I'm confused about exactly what CIO means. I let my son cry a whopping 15 mins alone to fall asleep for all of like 2 nights when he was adjusting to the crib after 3 weeks of co-sleeping. He was well cared for in every respect leading up to those 15 mins, but, yes, I allowed him to cry for 15 mins when he woke up and cried upon being placed in the crib. Horrible parent for letting him do that at such a young age? Apparently according the the consensus here.

When people criticize CIO, as I've already been reprimanded for and as I've seen highly looked down upon in posts today, what length of time for CIO are we talking about here? Do you never ever ever put a baby down in a swing, bouncer, crib, play mat, etc. even for a few mins when you've done all you can think of and they are crying?

Molluskwrangler · May 2011

It's all about the childs age.

kapereasd · May 2011

How old is he? Is the 8 month old in your ticker?

kapereasd · May 2011

Never mind. I read it wrong. I can read, promise. If he is 4 months old, you can start to...I am waiting until K is a bit older, but it is definitely not recommended under 4 months of age. Andplusalso for me it depends on how long she has to cry for. 15 minutes I could (maybe) handle...30 minutes, definitely not.

marzipanbunny · May 2011

8 months doesn't seem too young to me.

edit - now I am confused, is this an 8 month old that you let CIO at 3 weeks? That sounds young to me, I had heard they can't self soothe until 4 months, but I guess if it worked for you...

simo7079 · May 2011

kapereasd:
Never mind. I read it wrong. I can read, promise. If he is 4 months old, you can start to...I am waiting until K is a bit older, but it is definitely not recommended under 4 months of age. Andplusalso for me it depends on how long she has to cry for. 15 minutes I could (maybe) handle...30 minutes, definitely not.

This, and I read it wrong too!

USArmyWifeToBe · May 2011

Don't feel bad, I've actually let my daughter cry for 45 mins once because I had to shower & get dressed & I thought CIO was just letting them cry. Little did I know that there was a method behind it. I don't look down on CIO but I'll tell you what my daughter rejects the method & will not work on her.

Littledeer84 · May 2011

Do you mean he CIO when he was three weeks old? Or now, at 4 months? I know that conventional wisdom is that around 4 months a baby can start to self sooth, so that is why a lot of people wait. I dont think 15 minutes sounds excessive though.

mrsseguin · May 2011

People are going to do what they feel is right for their child, regardless of what may be the 'norm', or even 'acceptable' by others. I personally don't agree with it and wouldn't do it, but if it works for you, then that's fine.

I'm pretty sure when people on the bump are referring to CIO, it's leaving their child in their crib to cry themselves to sleep. It's different than putting them down for a few minutes because they need a break from the crying. They will eventually go back in a few minutes to try to soothe their baby.

JustDoIt62009 · May 2011

From how I read your post, you let a 3 week old CIO for 15 minutes? Is that right? It's not recommended to do CIO until at least 4 months, some say 6 months. A baby that young can't self soothe, and is crying for a need whether it be food, a change, or cuddles. LO spent 9 months snuggly and warm inside of you and needs that for quite some time afterwards.

I personally can't let my 20 week old cry for longer than a few minutes, when it comes to bedtime. If I'm doing something and she starts crying during the day, I finish what I can as fast as possible and then go to her. At night, I do let your fuss, to me that is completely different than crying it out. She grunts and moves around her crib and fusses, and then usually she falls asleep. If it lasts longer than 5 minutes, I go to her and pat her back, and if she starts to cry at all, I pick her up and take her back to the rocking chair. She only wakes up once now that we are through the 4 month wakeful (*knock on wood*), and that is either at 3 or 5am to eat, and then she goes right back to sleep.

Like I said, that is what's working for me. Some CIO, and I don't judge, it's just not for me, but at any rate 3 weeks is WAY too young.

hjk5000 · May 2011

I'm also confused. But if you let him cry alone even for 15 minutes at 3 weeks old you suck.

daenikoffre · May 2011

simo7079:
kapereasd:
Never mind. I read it wrong. I can read, promise. If he is 4 months old, you can start to...I am waiting until K is a bit older, but it is definitely not recommended under 4 months of age. Andplusalso for me it depends on how long she has to cry for. 15 minutes I could (maybe) handle...30 minutes, definitely not.
This, and I read it wrong too!

Same..

yet, I'm still confused!

ETA: Nevermind.. I got it, guys!

Mama2Nico · May 2011

cmcmurray:
Do you mean he CIO when he was three weeks old?

Yes, horrible me, I let him cry in the crib for 15 mins at 3 weeks old for 2 nights in a row. Ever since then, it's a very rare night that he cries at all at any point after his last feed and he's been sttn based off of the 6 hr definition since about 6 weeks and sttn for about 10 hr chunks since he was 10 weeks. His crib is about 3 feet from the foot of our bed so he's well monitored. I've seen him soothe himself with his fingers from day 1. I could never swaddle the kid because he'd scream without access to his hands. I never imagined anyone would get criticized for letting him cry for 15 mins but maybe I misused the term CIO or maybe what I did was just really horrific to some people.

USArmyWifeToBe · May 2011

Eeek, I didn't do that at 3 weeks. That is really young.

Dreamsicle23 · May 2011

Mama2Nico:
cmcmurray:
Do you mean he CIO when he was three weeks old?
Yes, horrible me, I let him cry in the crib for 15 mins at 3 weeks old for 2 nights in a row. Ever since then, it's a very rare night that he cries at all at any point after his last feed and he's been sttn based off of the 6 hr definition since about 6 weeks and sttn for about 10 hr chunks since he was 10 weeks. His crib is about 3 feet from the foot of our bed so he's well monitored. I've seen him soothe himself with his fingers from day 1. I could never swaddle the kid because he'd scream without access to his hands. I never imagined anyone would get criticized for letting him cry for 15 mins but maybe I misused the term CIO or maybe what I did was just really horrific to some people.

It's fine. Everyone on here thinks their kids will turn into messed up sociopaths if the CIO before 4 months but it's BS. Babies don't always need something.

Littledeer84 · May 2011

Mama2Nico:

cmcmurray:
Do you mean he CIO when he was three weeks old?

Yes, horrible me, I let him cry in the crib for 15 mins at 3 weeks old for 2 nights in a row. Ever since then, it's a very rare night that he cries at all at any point after his last feed and he's been sttn based off of the 6 hr definition since about 6 weeks and sttn for about 10 hr chunks since he was 10 weeks. His crib is about 3 feet from the foot of our bed so he's well monitored. I've seen him soothe himself with his fingers from day 1. I could never swaddle the kid because he'd scream without access to his hands. I never imagined anyone would get criticized for letting him cry for 15 mins but maybe I misused the term CIO or maybe what I did was just really horrific to some people.

No flames from me, it sounds like it worked for you. My DD's hands keep her awake rather than comfort her, so she is still swaddled and even then wakes up every two hours every night! I am going to look into the Ferber method soon, and we are going to do some sleep training next month in the hopes that we can all sleep at night.

JustDoIt62009 · May 2011

I should add, my DD can in no way self soothe. She just gets more and more upset- turns purple, does the no sound scream, the whole nine yards, which is why I don't usually let her get past the fussing stage. She loves her fingers and has always used her hands as a soother- we never swaddled either because of this, but once she gets upset, unless I hold her close there's no way she's calming herself down. It sometimes takes 5-10 minutes in my arms for her to calm down.

Littledeer84 · May 2011

Sorry, something weird happened with the "quote" function in my post above...

USArmyWifeToBe · May 2011

eddy321:

Personally, I think age and LO's personality/abilities determine whether or not CIO is okay. DD can self soothe. She has been able to do so for quite some time, and while we don't do CIO necessarily, I could see us doing it now if need be. It's not really my style, but I wouldn't blame or judge anyone who chose to do it if their LO was able to self soothe and wasn't going to be negatively affected.

Some LOs, no matter the age, cannot and will not self soothe. I know an eight-month-old who will scream louder and louder until she turns purple or someone comes to get her, whichever comes first. She simply will not cry herself to sleep. Obviously, CIO is not the way to go there.

I also don't think people assume CIO if you lay your LO on the play mat for a few minutes because you need a break. To me, that is honest parenting. If your LO's needs are taken care of and they have cried for so long that you cannot handle it anymore, it's safer to put them down somewhere than it is to let tension build up inside you.

Yes

I agree! Everyone kept telling me to stop spoiling my daughter & she needs to learn to just cry. At around 3 months I tried because my husband is in the Army & was gone & in order to eat or do anything she had to cry. Well I tried it for alittle longer each time & boy that did not work at all!! Everyone told me to just let her cry & she'll get over it soon. BS! My daughter got way worse with the minute. I will not let her do that anymore. Now at 5 months she naps like 2 hrs in her crib with 0 fuss & that was on her timing. I didn't force it, I just one day tried & she went down. Weeks before that she would FLIP out if I put her down for naps. The same thing happened with swaddling. I tried breaking her at 2 months...yea right! She did it on her own at like 4 months. Going with with you LO tells you. Don't force things, go with it. It may take a bit to get LO in crib, hence the reason people say do not co sleep. Just saying...

Wufroggy79 · May 2011

USArmyWifeToBe:
Don't feel bad, I've actually let my daughter cry for 45 mins once because I had to shower & get dressed & I thought CIO was just letting them cry. Little did I know that there was a method behind it. I don't look down on CIO but I'll tell you what my daughter rejects the method & will not work on her.

Indifferent Showering, I kinda get. Sometimes they start to cry, and well you've got to get the soap out of your hair. But just letting crying continue while you finish getting ready?

mrsseguin · May 2011

I do think it's horrid to let your 3 week old baby cry for 15 minutes. I thought your baby was 4 months old by your ticker.

You just seem like you want to stir up $hit. Obviously your gonna do what your gonna do with your baby....you see nothing wrong with it and actually think it was a good thing.

USArmyWifeToBe · May 2011

nbeseau:

USArmyWifeToBe:
Don't feel bad, I've actually let my daughter cry for 45 mins once because I had to shower & get dressed & I thought CIO was just letting them cry. Little did I know that there was a method behind it. I don't look down on CIO but I'll tell you what my daughter rejects the method & will not work on her.

Showering, I kinda get. Sometimes they start to cry, and well you've got to get the soap out of your hair. But just letting crying continue while you finish getting ready?

No, sorry worded it wrong, forgot EXACTLY what was going on that day BUT it was the time my husband was gone for a month because he's in the army. I was trying to do what EVERYONE told me to do, let her cry. It wasn't because I didn't care & just wanted to get ready.

MissSunny42 · May 2011

IMO, letting a baby under the age of 6 months cry alone with no comfort, INTENTIONALLY, for more than the time it takes to get to them, is detrimental to their development.

Mama2Nico · May 2011

mrsseguin:
I do think it's horrid to let your 3 week old baby cry for 15 minutes. I thought your baby was 4 months old by your ticker.
You just seem like you want to stir up $hit. Obviously your gonna do what your gonna do with your baby....you see nothing wrong with it and actually think it was a good thing.

I'm sorry you feel this way. I'm genuinely not trying to stir anything up. I don't know how you're making those assessments because I never said it was a good thing...just that I was confused. I was just stating what happened...and what's done is done. It's not like I can go back and try to soothe him for those 15 mins that took place 3 months ago. I don't deny, however, that after those 2 nights sleep was a lot better for everyone and I have continued to wake up to a smiling baby in the morning who remains a more-often-than-not extremely content baby throughout the day.

When I did that at the time I was following advice from a fair number of people who have either IMO successfully raised children or who currently have LOs that seem entirely well-adjusted. I had no idea that letting a kid cry for 15 mins at that age was at all controversial.

I understand there is a difference from the parents' perspective between allowing your kid to cry when you could soothe them versus them crying when you can't (i.e. if they start having a meltdown in the car), but is there a difference to the child? I do have to question whether there is any more detriment to their development if you let them cry for 15 mins in the crib versus not pulling over immediately if they start crying in the car. Is there even any difference between them crying for 15 mins in the crib versus trying to soothe them unsuccessfully for 15 mins. It just seems debatable to me.

W&R&K · May 2011

I have a 3 month old that screams bloody murder for hours when I'm not home. No matter what my DH, Mom, Dad do, she won't stop. She will turn purple and just get more mad if they try to talk to her. She cried for 2 hours the other night while I was gone. They try everything, and she will scream and cry until she falls asleep or I come home. So maybe I'm in the same boat as you. I'm bad for leaving DD with family member and going to the store.

BrittKav · May 2011

Wow. I was really hoping I read it wrong when you said 3 weeks. Yeah, that was a really sh!tty thing to do.

USArmyWifeToBe · May 2011

Goodness its one thing telling her thats early its another saying that in a very rude manner & saying she's being sh*tty. Damn!

scout426 · May 2011

MissSunny42:
IMO, letting a baby under the age of 6 months cry alone with no comfort, INTENTIONALLY, for more than the time it takes to get to them, is detrimental to their development.

Yes and expecting them to learn from the experience Tongue Tied

Bredins wife · May 2011

I just can't imagine what it would feel like to be completely immobile, and be left to cry. It makes me sick to think about my LO laying in her crib, not even able to sit up on her own, and crying for me.

That's just my opinion though.

J+MS · May 2011

3 weeks is way too early. Geebus, people.

grr_aargh · May 2011

Not going to flame you, but I will answer you: When my baby cries, I soothe her.

If we were adjusting to the crib, I'd soothe her. She needs it. I think it's a rare child who just needs to lay alone and scream.

Mama2Nico · May 2011

Bredins wife:
I just can't imagine what it would feel like to be completely immobile, and be left to cry. It makes me sick to think about my LO laying in her crib, not even able to sit up on her own, and crying for me.
That's just my opinion though.

It wasn't fun listening to him cry. In fact, I myself was practically crying to DH. Co-sleeping was working out horribly and there were a few nights where I was practically hysterical trying futilely to soothe him once we gave it up. I talked to friends and family at that point and, as I previously mentioned, I followed advice from these people I trust. I get the sense I'm being painted as some horrible monster that has absolutely no feelings about my child and no concern for his well-being or development. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So does everyone who disagrees with CIO pull the car over if LO starts crying? It's an honest question. Crying without soothing seems like crying without soothing from the child's developmental perspective if that's what the argument is. I can't imagine it's any more frightening or "detrimental to development" to be strapped in a car seat and crying than to be in a crib and crying.

J+MS · May 2011

Mama2Nico:
Bredins wife:
I just can't imagine what it would feel like to be completely immobile, and be left to cry. It makes me sick to think about my LO laying in her crib, not even able to sit up on her own, and crying for me.
That's just my opinion though.
It wasn't fun listening to him cry. In fact, I myself was practically crying to DH. Co-sleeping was working out horribly and there were a few nights where I was practically hysterical trying futilely to soothe him once we gave it up. I talked to friends and family at that point and, as I previously mentioned, I followed advice from these people I trust. I get the sense I'm being painted as some horrible monster that has absolutely no feelings about my child and no concern for his well-being or development. Nothing could be further from the truth.
So does everyone who disagrees with CIO pull the car over if LO starts crying? It's an honest question. Crying without soothing seems like crying without soothing from the child's developmental perspective if that's what the argument is. I can't imagine it's any more frightening or "detrimental to development" to be strapped in a car seat and crying than to be in a crib and crying.

Izzy is now 7 months old and I think she had a fit in her car seat maybe twice. Did I pull the car over? once, yep. I pulled over and rocked her to sleep in the back seat. Another time we were 10 minutes from the house and she just wanted a bottle. 15 minutes isn't that big of a deal when you're talking about a 3 month old but a 3 WEEK old? seriously, think about it. That baby can't even begin to comprehend why no one is coming to him.

honkytonk_kid · May 2011

Mama2Nico:
Bredins wife:
I just can't imagine what it would feel like to be completely immobile, and be left to cry. It makes me sick to think about my LO laying in her crib, not even able to sit up on her own, and crying for me.
That's just my opinion though.
It wasn't fun listening to him cry. In fact, I myself was practically crying to DH. Co-sleeping was working out horribly and there were a few nights where I was practically hysterical trying futilely to soothe him once we gave it up. I talked to friends and family at that point and, as I previously mentioned, I followed advice from these people I trust. I get the sense I'm being painted as some horrible monster that has absolutely no feelings about my child and no concern for his well-being or development. Nothing could be further from the truth.
So does everyone who disagrees with CIO pull the car over if LO starts crying? It's an honest question. Crying without soothing seems like crying without soothing from the child's developmental perspective if that's what the argument is. I can't imagine it's any more frightening or "detrimental to development" to be strapped in a car seat and crying than to be in a crib and crying.

The difference is that you seem to think your LO learned how to go to sleep on his own by crying himself to sleep. He was 3 weeks old. He did not learn to self soothe, he gave up. Babies' response to trauma is sleeping. I'm not saying your kid will be a sociopath because of it, and I'm not saying you're a horrible person- I'm saying it was a developmentally inappropriate technique to get him to sleep and IMO, at 3 weeks it was pretty crappy. There is no one in the world, regardless of how much I trust them, that could convince me to let my 3 week old CIO.

If LO starts crying in a car I can talk to him, replace his paci at red lights, stroke his head. See the difference? I'm not trying to teach him anything, I'm trying to get home from the grocery store- sometimes the crying is unavoidable but I can still soothe him. And yes, if he really starts to melt down I pull the car over.

Bredins wife · May 2011

honkytonk_kid:
Mama2Nico:
Bredins wife:
I just can't imagine what it would feel like to be completely immobile, and be left to cry. It makes me sick to think about my LO laying in her crib, not even able to sit up on her own, and crying for me.
That's just my opinion though.
It wasn't fun listening to him cry. In fact, I myself was practically crying to DH. Co-sleeping was working out horribly and there were a few nights where I was practically hysterical trying futilely to soothe him once we gave it up. I talked to friends and family at that point and, as I previously mentioned, I followed advice from these people I trust. I get the sense I'm being painted as some horrible monster that has absolutely no feelings about my child and no concern for his well-being or development. Nothing could be further from the truth.
So does everyone who disagrees with CIO pull the car over if LO starts crying? It's an honest question. Crying without soothing seems like crying without soothing from the child's developmental perspective if that's what the argument is. I can't imagine it's any more frightening or "detrimental to development" to be strapped in a car seat and crying than to be in a crib and crying.
The difference is that you seem to think your LO learned how to go to sleep on his own by crying himself to sleep. He was 3 weeks old. He did not learn to self soothe, he gave up. Babies' response to trauma is sleeping. I'm not saying your kid will be a sociopath because of it, and I'm not saying you're a horrible person- I'm saying it was a developmentally inappropriate technique to get him to sleep and IMO, at 3 weeks it was pretty crappy. There is no one in the world, regardless of how much I trust them, that could convince me to let my 3 week old CIO.
If LO starts crying in a car I can talk to him, replace his paci at red lights, stroke his head. See the difference? I'm not trying to teach him anything, I'm trying to get home from the grocery store- sometimes the crying is unavoidable but I can still soothe him. And yes, if he really starts to melt down I pull the car over.

This. And yes, I pull over. It once took me over 3 hours to get home from a 45 minute trip because P screamed the whole way. Like J+MS said, I would pull over, rock her, soothe her, and put her back in. I sing to her, talk to her, give her binkys, toys, whatever it takes, if all else fails, I pull over.

Crying is the only way your baby has to communicate with you, babies cry because they need something or want something, and yes, to a baby, a "want" is the same as a "need" IMO.

And as far as the whole co-sleeping, you were at your wits end, whatever....

Yeah, my H is deployed, will be for the next 7 months, it takes sometimes 3 hours to get P to bed, and then she is up 3-4 times at night b/c she is teething, and just getting over the 4 month wakeful. Never once will I or have I ever let her CIO. I'm doing this 100% by my self, and I'm exhausted, but I made the decision to have this baby, and it is my responsibility, and pleasure, to soothe her, and meet her needs.

Please, Flame on.

RyAnsMoMMy123 · May 2011

Bredins wife:
honkytonk_kid:
Mama2Nico:
Bredins wife:

So does everyone who disagrees with CIO pull the car over if LO starts crying?

If LO starts crying in a car I can talk to him, replace his paci at red lights, stroke his head. See the difference? I'm not trying to teach him anything, I'm trying to get home from the grocery store- sometimes the crying is unavoidable but I can still soothe him. And yes, if he really starts to melt down I pull the car over.

This. And yes, I pull over. It once took me over 3 hours to get home from a 45 minute trip because P screamed the whole way. Like J+MS said, I would pull over, rock her, soothe her, and put her back in. I sing to her, talk to her, give her binkys, toys, whatever it takes, if all else fails, I pull over.

Crying is the only way your baby has to communicate with you, babies cry because they need something or want something, and yes, to a baby, a "want" is the same as a "need" IMO.

I couldn't let my baby cry and not go to him. Some people have that ability, I don't understand it and I don't agree with it. I agree w/pp that it was a poor decision on your part.

Also, YES! i pull over if its more than a reasonable distance from home. I have pulled over and gotten in the back to BF DS for about 45 minutes when we were about a 1/2hour away from home. I think it's natural to want to soothe your child and I personally don't have it in me to listen to him in that state.

MonkeySender · May 2011

Mama2Nico:
Bredins wife:

I just can't imagine what it would feel like to be completely immobile, and be left to cry. It makes me sick to think about my LO laying in her crib, not even able to sit up on her own, and crying for me.

That's just my opinion though.

It wasn't fun listening to him cry. In fact, I myself was practically crying to DH. Co-sleeping was working out horribly and there were a few nights where I was practically hysterical trying futilely to soothe him once we gave it up. I talked to friends and family at that point and, as I previously mentioned, I followed advice from these people I trust. I get the sense I'm being painted as some horrible monster that has absolutely no feelings about my child and no concern for his well-being or development. Nothing could be further from the truth.

So does everyone who disagrees with CIO pull the car over if LO starts crying? It's an honest question. Crying without soothing seems like crying without soothing from the child's developmental perspective if that's what the argument is. I can't imagine it's any more frightening or "detrimental to development" to be strapped in a car seat and crying than to be in a crib and crying.

As soon as I am able to, I do pull my car over if DD is upset in the car. Especially when she was only a couple of weeks old. If DH is driving I will generally just lean my seat back so she can see me, offer her paci and talk to her and that tends to soothe her enough to stop crying, but if it is just the 2 of us the I would stop.

mishu917 · May 2011

mrsseguin:
I do think it's horrid to let your 3 week old baby cry for 15 minutes. I thought your baby was 4 months old by your ticker.
You just seem like you want to stir up $hit. Obviously your gonna do what your gonna do with your baby....you see nothing wrong with it and actually think it was a good thing.

This.

I never let LO cry it out and she sleeps fine anywhere unswaddled, all I have to do is put her down when she's tired and she immediately falls asleep. She slept 6+ hrs at 4 weeks, 7+ at 6 weeks and now 10-12 hours. I'm happy to say that I was always there for her when she cried whether she wanted something or just needed some cuddling time. I thoroughly enjoyed it and now at almost 5 mos, she's so independent!!

No one can determine that CIO is ok with babies unless they analyze their children as they get older. There have been studies that suggest when babies cry, they need some sort of attention. I highly agree with this. Even if someone lets their kid CIO as a baby, and they analyze their kid as they grow, it's all relative as to whether you think it affected your kid or not. My mom never let any of her kids CIO and we all grew up very happy and are all very well rounded, educated, no issues individuals.

The fact of the matter is, when you have a brand new baby, what else could be more important than keeping that baby near to you and attending to him/ her?? Instead of rushing to CIO at only a few weeks, we decided to spend time with our little baby and learning about her cues, which has paid off because she still falls asleep on her own. If we put her down too early, she's start fussing then we'll just play with her a little more, and she'll fall asleep after that.

mishu917 · May 2011

And yes, if it was just one of us, we'd pull over. We didn't really take her out before 2 mos. She just slept a lot during the early weeks in the car. If she cries now, I'll pull over, but she rarely cries unless she needs something.

azgrlbride · May 2011

Dreamsicle23:
Mama2Nico:

cmcmurray:
Do you mean he CIO when he was three weeks old?

Yes, horrible me, I let him cry in the crib for 15 mins at 3 weeks old for 2 nights in a row. Ever since then, it's a very rare night that he cries at all at any point after his last feed and he's been sttn based off of the 6 hr definition since about 6 weeks and sttn for about 10 hr chunks since he was 10 weeks. His crib is about 3 feet from the foot of our bed so he's well monitored. I've seen him soothe himself with his fingers from day 1. I could never swaddle the kid because he'd scream without access to his hands. I never imagined anyone would get criticized for letting him cry for 15 mins but maybe I misused the term CIO or maybe what I did was just really horrific to some people.

It's fine. Everyone on here thinks their kids will turn into messed up sociopaths if the CIO before 4 months but it's BS. Babies don't always need something.

Agreed! I let mine CIO for 15 min 2 nights in a row at 5 wks and he has been STTN ever since.

PunkyBooster · May 2011

CIO is really about how old the baby is and what is working for you. I judge people who make their 2 or 5 week olds CIO. Anything over 5 or 6 months, I think it is just about what works for the baby. Not every baby is CIO material, just like not every baby is crawling right at 6 months, or potty trained right at 2 years old. KWIM?

I personally do not have the stomach for CIO but I'm very lucky to have a baby who self soothes well and if he's crying, it's usually because he is hot or hungry- both of which are easily remedied!

In my own mind, I tell myself I can't do CIO because I want DS to know that if he's hurt or upset, an adult will always help him. Maybe that is a little far fetched, but that's how I feel.

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