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Baby Showers
kurlieq
member
shower for 2nd pregnancy?
kurlieq
member
in Baby Showers
So I'd like some advice...I know baby showers are usually only for the first born, but we still need some pretty expensive items (another crib, car seat, high chair, double stroller, etc).
What are your thoughts/ideas on etiquette for a baby shower for a second pregnancy? Should we just ask family members to contribute money/gifts, or should we actually throw a second shower? TIA!
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Re: shower for 2nd pregnancy?
♥BFP #1 "Spawn"- 02/23/11 | EDD: 11/01/11 | natural m/c 03/20/11 @7w5d♥
♥BFP #2 "Offspring"- 11/10/12 | EDD: 07/25/13 | incomplete m/c 12/14/12 @8w1d | D&C 12/21/12♥
♥BFP #3 "Progeny" - 02/16/15 | It's a BOY!! | EDD: 10/17/15 | BD: 10/23/15♥
All AL Always Welcome
So you want to have a 2nd shower so everyone else can buy your really expensive items?? Sounds extremely gift grabby.
I'll be having a second baby shower BUT my DD is 7 years old and I'm having a boy this time around. This is DHs first baby. We've decided to purchase all of the big items ourselves. We're not expecting neither do we want our family and friends spending $100s on a baby that's not even theirs.
They didn't make the baby you did. You get to pay for it.
I can't believe you would even consider asking for donations, that just seems so weird.
My baby is two!!! Baby girl 9/17/09
My other baby is still a baby! Baby Boy 11-30-11
Psst, unless their eggs and sperm created this child it is NOT their job to supply you with the expensive items. Typically people should not expect a shower past their first pregnancy. It's only overlooked if someone else insists on throwing one, otherwise you can always have a Welcome Baby party post-birth. NO, you should not ask people to contribute money/gifts. Do you ask people to give you birthday gifts? And HELL NO should you throw your own shower. There are plenty of ways to get those big items without spending a pretty penny. That's what garage sales, consignment shops/Goodwill, craigslist, and eBay are for.
I'm PG with #2 and my good friend really wants to throw me a shower especially since I threw her one for her first last summer. She assured me it'll be small so I agreed but I don't plan on registering for anything. DH and I are the only people responsible for providing this child with the necessities.
Are you serious?
Your are asking whether you should:
a) ASK for gifts and/or donations; OR
b) throw yourself a second shower.
How greedy can you be?
Don't expect high-dollar gift from people, unless they come right out and ask you if they can get you something big. Please don't ask for gifts.
I think people are a little rough on you but you kind of asked for it by posting the questions you did. It might have helped if you had read some of the older posts regarding showers for 2nd babies.
A lot (maybe most) people are opposed to showers for babies except the first (showers traditionally are for first time mothers - to help them get set up). Also, it is very poor etiquette to host your own shower. It is just not done since YOU would be the one receiving the gifts. You cannot dictate what people give you (even though it would be nice if we could just to eliminate duplicates).
As for needing large items (crib, high chair, double stroller, car seat, etc) you will most likely NOT get those anyway (even if someone offers to throw you a shower for your second child). It is my suggestion to go to resale shops, Good Will, Salvation Army, Moms to Moms sales, etc. to obtain these items (except the car seat - that should be new or at least from someone you KNOW has not been in an accident with it and make sure you check the expiration date on it!). When people go to shower for 2nd, 3rd, etc. babies they usually get you clothes and maybe other smaller items and diapers. If anyone ASKS what you need you can suggest gift cards since you have some larger items to purchase.
I think if someone ASKS you what you might like as a gift then you can certainly offer a suggestion.
But planning a shower for the sole purpose of avoiding high dollar purchases is a huge turn off to me. I'm sure your guests would have no idea that's why you decided on another shower but IMO that's not what a shower is about.
I'm expecting my second and there will not be shower, but rather a day we open our home after the LO has arrived for friends and family to come meet our new addition. And if gifts are brought, so be it, but the baby will already have everything it needs, regardless.
you know what ~i cant believe how rude some of these mothers are!!!
i am having a second baby shower and i don't find it the least bit greedy. My daughter is only 10 months old and I am 25 weeks pregnant!
everyone of my children are worth celebrating into this world!!! i will not register for anything but i will ask people to come and welcome my son! Maybe if you feel odd about the big gifts you should talk with family so others don't feel totally obligated!
Second showers can be considered "sprinkles" bc they shouldn't be as big! there are some really cute websites that can help with your invites and how to write them!
Good Luck
2 little ones in a row is a lot. I plan on my 3rd soon after the 2nd is born!!! (and i will have shower for that little one too!!!! probably only best friends and parents this time!!! lol
I feel you on having two little ones - it's expensive because my LO is still using a lot of her big items. We've been saving for the last few months, specifically for a double stroller to buy that ourselves because I want a really nice one.
My MIL offered to throw me a 2nd shower or "sprinkle"... ladies only and keep it small. If she does I'm sure I'll get little things like clothing, towels, gift cards. Every little bit helps. How we do it in our family is after friends and family have given their gifts really close family members (parents & siblings) ask us what else we need and help us the best they can.
This being the second time around we're not in a rush to have everything all at once. We know we don't need a high chair sitting around for the first few months - or a crib since baby will be in a co-sleeper. We have time to plan out what items we can get with what paycheck when we start to really need it.
I know right now it's stressful. If someone offers a second shower/sprinkle then go for it.. express to those close to you if you do need help with something specific, look for deals like PPs said and good luck!
Unfortunately for you, they speak the truth.
I'm afraid many of your guests will think you are rude for having another shower.
Shower's are for gifts. That is the purpose. It is rude to throw yourself a party that is asking for gifts. it just is.
Having a party to celebrate the baby is totally different. It doesn't sound like you are having a shower for gifts, it sounds like you are having a baby party. Not the same. The OP is specifically talking about asking for gifts.
I'm also about to have another baby, and I would NEVER have another shower. I will be purchasing everything this baby needs myself, as I created him or her and it is my responsibility.
I highly doubt she is going to take our advice and forego the second shower......
But even if you throw a shower, I doubt anyone is going to shell out more than a $10 gift fo an outfit or small nursery item since your other baby is only a year old.
I also find it a bit odd to have a second baby shower.. and gift grabby.. It's funny, because the only ones who agree are having 2nd baby showers for themselves lol..
Maybe consider having a gathering before/after baby, request frozen meals etc, instead of fancy gifts.. I do agree that every baby is worth celebrating, but don't expect people to buy gifts.
ha ha! you said it perfectly!
Seriously OP? Re-read your post.....this is insane. and FYI, the poster who suggested charging people to see/hold the baby was kidding, i really think that needs to be clarified..lol..
People are rude because OP is oblivious. You obviously are too.